I think you can use better usage of… well, I won’t say phrasing, but you can use better usage of comma. Not sure what it’s called in English, but I believe if you have 3 to 4 continuous adjectives you need to split each with comma, or pair them with dash so there’s only “2 adjectives.” I also suggest of using less… what is it called… conjunction (likes of “then”?), though this is more of the matter of style.
Example being
dull grey slitted eyes
and
" ŒRIT! " Was bellowed *then* followed by a wooden staff shortly after which was slammed into the boy’s head
Both phrases are pretty tiring when I read them.
Overall, there’re ways to better the many phrasings in your work. You also seem to like going back and forth in telling story, which isn’t quite pleasant for me to read.
But plot wise, it’s quite rare to see story that adopts a setting of specific culture, especially the one that tries to be true to history. It’s pretty fancy to read rune symbols, though I literally have no idea what they means.
Edit: I’m sorry, I forgot you have dyslexia.
Hmm, maybe you can use a co-author to edit your work?