Hi agian!
Before I start just need to tell you guys I’ve been quite nervous about posting this… So yeah.
Normal thing for me I have Dyslexia so expect wrong words (replaced/swooped or just spelt wrong) and lots of grammar mistakes as I think I may be grammar blind also…
If you see any let me know please and hope you enjoy.
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It was just another normal day in the Town of Durham, with many people just living there life’s to the fullest, or to the best of their ability.
For the last few years you have been working nearly everyday in a local Inn to earn your keep, that was until one day strangers came, though not totally uncommon until the feeling of countless eyes started following your every movement…
Why are they there? What do they want? What are their intentions? One thing was clear, this was just the start of a fantastic journey through the southern lands.
I suppose, as far as I know and researched Icelandic is the closest living language to what the Vikings used. How ever I only used 2 words from there as the York university of Viking language didn’t have the two words I needed. Hope this answered your question.
I think you can use better usage of… well, I won’t say phrasing, but you can use better usage of comma. Not sure what it’s called in English, but I believe if you have 3 to 4 continuous adjectives you need to split each with comma, or pair them with dash so there’s only “2 adjectives.” I also suggest of using less… what is it called… conjunction (likes of “then”?), though this is more of the matter of style.
Example being
dull grey slitted eyes
and
" ŒRIT! "Was bellowed *then* followed by a wooden staff shortly after which was slammed into the boy’s head
Both phrases are pretty tiring when I read them.
Overall, there’re ways to better the many phrasings in your work. You also seem to like going back and forth in telling story, which isn’t quite pleasant for me to read.
But plot wise, it’s quite rare to see story that adopts a setting of specific culture, especially the one that tries to be true to history. It’s pretty fancy to read rune symbols, though I literally have no idea what they means.
Edit: I’m sorry, I forgot you have dyslexia.
Hmm, maybe you can use a co-author to edit your work?
I really wanna try this demo…which I tried…but…is there anyway to have the Setting up there ? So I can turn the background dark ? Urgh…all that white make it hard to read .
Thank you so much! I’ll try and fix the stuff you pointed out , as for a co writer/editor I wouldn’t know where to start to look for one nor ask… Sorry my writing blips took your enjoyment away or made it more difficult for you .
Kinda both I think. As far as I can tell with the pic you sent you were right near the end anyway, so you don’t have to worry as your not missing much .
And thank you so much for positive feed back as well as finding this bug/error!
What you have so far is pretty nice and I’m definitely interested in seeing more.
Btw, your Runes for the transition buttons have the Greek S (Σ) instead of the Nordic S (ᛋ I believe). Unless you were trying for ᛊ which is also S I think.
Hope this answered your question.
, as for a co writer/editor I wouldn’t know where to start to look for one nor ask… Sorry my writing blips took your enjoyment away or made it more difficult for you 
Thank you!
