The Sealed

Hi agian!
Before I start just need to tell you guys I’ve been quite nervous about posting this… So yeah.
Normal thing for me I have Dyslexia so expect wrong words (replaced/swooped or just spelt wrong) and lots of grammar mistakes as I think I may be grammar blind also… :sweat_smile:
If you see any let me know please and hope you enjoy.
———
It was just another normal day in the Town of Durham, with many people just living there life’s to the fullest, or to the best of their ability.
For the last few years you have been working nearly everyday in a local Inn to earn your keep, that was until one day strangers came, though not totally uncommon until the feeling of countless eyes started following your every movement…
Why are they there? What do they want? What are their intentions? One thing was clear, this was just the start of a fantastic journey through the southern lands.

• Play as a guy or girl
• gay, straight or bi
• four characters (at the moment) to romance
https://dashingdon.com/play/windsphinx/sealed/mygame/sealed_compiled.html

51 Likes

As an added note there is a fantasy element just don’t know whether it’s high or low :sweat_smile:

Wait are the Vikings speaking broken Icelandic?

I suppose, as far as I know and researched Icelandic is the closest living language to what the Vikings used. How ever I only used 2 words from there as the York university of Viking language didn’t have the two words I needed.
:blush: Hope this answered your question.

I meant to say York uni dictionary of the Viking language :sweat_smile:

Oh okay.

I think you can use better usage of… well, I won’t say phrasing, but you can use better usage of comma. Not sure what it’s called in English, but I believe if you have 3 to 4 continuous adjectives you need to split each with comma, or pair them with dash so there’s only “2 adjectives.” I also suggest of using less… what is it called… conjunction (likes of “then”?), though this is more of the matter of style.


Example being

dull grey slitted eyes

and

" ŒRIT! " Was bellowed *then* followed by a wooden staff shortly after which was slammed into the boy’s head

Both phrases are pretty tiring when I read them.


Overall, there’re ways to better the many phrasings in your work. You also seem to like going back and forth in telling story, which isn’t quite pleasant for me to read.

But plot wise, it’s quite rare to see story that adopts a setting of specific culture, especially the one that tries to be true to history. It’s pretty fancy to read rune symbols, though I literally have no idea what they means.


Edit: I’m sorry, I forgot you have dyslexia.
Hmm, maybe you can use a co-author to edit your work?

2 Likes

I really wanna try this demo…which I tried…but…is there anyway to have the Setting up there ? So I can turn the background dark ? Urgh…all that white make it hard to read .

Thank you so much! I’ll try and fix the stuff you pointed out :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:, as for a co writer/editor I wouldn’t know where to start to look for one nor ask… Sorry my writing blips took your enjoyment away or made it more difficult for you :sweat_smile:.

1 Like

E_Redmark, I have no idea if I can. I’ve seen others able to so I shall have to look into it as I also know where your coming from with the whiteness…

1 Like

if you can’t…well I appreciate that you tried :wink: Thank you!

1 Like


loving the game so far keep up the good work! I’m getting this error though I’m not sure because it’s the end of the game or just an error issue. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

1 Like

Kinda both I think. As far as I can tell with the pic you sent you were right near the end anyway, so you don’t have to worry as your not missing much :blush:.
And thank you so much for positive feed back as well as finding this bug/error! :laughing:

You know, when I see your red-tinted SS, I immediately thought to myself, “you’re that one person who actually uses an unused feature.”


@WindSphinx For editor, you can simply ask the one in front of you!

This community is loaded with helpful people. As for me, I have a rather tight schedule, but editing some stuff won’t take much time.

Oh my god thank you!
I’ll pm you later as I’ve got to go to work soon but thank you so much!

1 Like

What you have so far is pretty nice and I’m definitely interested in seeing more. :slight_smile:

Btw, your Runes for the transition buttons have the Greek S (Σ) instead of the Nordic S (ᛋ I believe). Unless you were trying for ᛊ which is also S I think.

Ops thank you :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

On mobile the symbols arn’t displayed correctly. But maybe that’s just me. I dunno.

Probably just you. On mobile right now and the runes are appearing for me.

Ow I really like the story so far ! Especially Aden, I like his character. Anyway it was very funny hehe. Can’t wait to see the rest :slight_smile:

1 Like