You are an American Rifleman at the battle of Peleliu, one of thebloodiest battles of the war in the pacific during world war II. You will need tosurvive blistering heat, banzai charges, and worst of all, artillery strikes and starvation and dehydration. This is, The Pacific.
Uh… Something is wrong here, but I was able to play the demo anyway.
Try to avoid using caps lock (too much) to show that someone is screaming, it looks ugly, italic or bold text gets the job done in a more stylish way (In my opinion).
The text needs a few line breaks, it is hard for me and some other users to read big walls of text, but the story itself looks solid, keep it up!
Edit: I noticed that you used the word “Jappenese” a lot, shouldn’t it be Japanese?
While it is short it’s really good, I like the amount of detail put in to describe the scene going on, it’s really easy to picture what you say.
I personally like the caps because it makes it feel like he is screaming but I wouldn’t over use the caps. Only use them in situations where they help the story like in the landing scene
I really like where this is going and encourage you to keep it up cuz this has some really great potential
ooops, quite a bit of typos and im not sure about the link, ill look into that. But thank you for the feedback, the typos should be fixed in the next 10 minutes or so!
1) Yes, he will have about 2 grenades 2) I might add that in, but im not sure when. If anything, i will add it in the next update. Which should be in a little while (I added things! :D) 3) As ballmot said, the MC would, if i was to be historically acurate, have atleast a SLIGHT understanding of Japanese weapons and how to use them.
So, I’m not really knowledgeable abou WWII era military regulations, but wouldn’t showing up a base with some guys skull be breaking some kinda rule?