'The Midnight Bay' Demo

The update was amazing, I love this very much and really cannot wait for more! Only one continuity error, when choosing to go to the club with Hunter itnlater mentions going with Ruth.

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I haven’t finished entirely but, what I have read isn’t bad! A few minor errrors here and there, like I think one was !{t_his} but I didn’t screenshot it. At least you got the right brackets it! I keep putting [ because I let the shift key go too soon. :unamused_face:

Anywho! I think it’s paced nicely. Felt a little wordy in some places, like there should be a page break? But that could also be because I’m tired as heck. I also saw the issue of Ruth allegedly coming to the club despite me choosing Hunter! I want the drama and ngl, kinda want a one-night-stand with him. Don’t ask me why. I might have to try drawing your ROs sometime if I ever remember… They all sounded lovely. :sparkles:

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Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it :smiley: And thanks for bringing that bug to my attention. It should be fixed now. I’m already working hard on chapter 4

@PrismaticSpace Honestly, this update was chaotic and has only been wrangled into submission by my very gracious new proofreader who has offered to help me, haha. But you are probably right about it being too wordy in places, but nothing I have posted is final, and I only grow more confident as I write, so the likelihood of me going back and editing things is high. But thank you so much for your kind words :smiley: And you’re not alone in wanting something to happen with Hunter. I don’t think it will be possible in book one, but I am considering a route for the drama afterwards. If you do draw them, I would love to see it. I’ve been wanting to do more art of them myself but my hand pain has been atrocious lately.

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Will there be an “update log” added onto the post or demo, so we can check when the last time it was updated was. ((Not that im asking))

I just noticed that i cant load my save, which means it was either a small update, or more content added. But i dont know which :sweat_smile: But if its new stuff, i totally wanna go binge it a bunch.

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Oh, yes! Forgive me; I had intended to post here when I was entirely pleased with the demo update, but it slipped my mind. Around 30k words were added on the 10th. It’s not the final version of this update, but I really needed to move on to chapter 4 for a change of pace so I didn’t burn out. :slight_smile:

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hmmm, so far this is pretty much wayhaven chronicles with a bit of revenge. you got the non-ro female best friend, the overprotective cop chief parent and the whole team with the soldier leader, the fun lover and the broody jerk. just missing the charming nice one. (the n here is a charming evil one, or at least kinda sus if not evil)

but damn if umbra isnt literally too pure for this world, we can fix them tho right

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This might be a hot take, but I think we should stop comparing IFs to Wayhaven. Just because the characters and ROs in the author’s story follow a popular trope doesn’t make it a Wayhaven-esque game - this story has its own identity

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@snas I love the Wayhaven Chronicles, but to be honest, the only time I was thinking about it during the writing process of my IF was when I was changing things to make it less similar. General character tropes tend to be genre hopping and exist in hundreds of narratives. When I was creating the characters, I was far more inspired by Japanese visual novels and my favourite video game writers. I’m glad you enjoy Umbra, though; :smiley: they come from a very personal place.

@Eton_x Thank you for saying that; :slight_smile: I fear this is a side effect of writing in the same genre. I won’t argue with the similarities, but the character tropes can be found in a lot of media. I do believe the overall premise is very different. I’m just writing what I love to read myself :smiley:

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This is a great start! My biggest note would be that it’d be great to have a character description section to keep track of all of the characters. I was especially confused by the physical descriptions between S and T. I always prefer having a nice refresher in the notes section and I feel like that’d fit with the PI theme.

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oh i meant no offense, just noting the similarities. of course there are plenty of character archetypes that can appear in a lot of places. what matter is if theyre well written and so far they definitely are in this one

heh, just enjoying umbra is an understatement. theyve quickly climbed to be my 2nd favorite cog ro after sydney from so youre possesed/have human will travel (i miss this series)

i forgor my old tumblr id and too lazy to make a new one rn so if its okay ill post an “ask” of sorts here. about umbra of course

considering the whole lifespan/species difference with umbra but also the presence of forbidden magic and stuff hinted at in sone other asks, you think mc and umbra might find a way to prevent death from doing them apart? poor dark blob’s been through enough, they deserve an eternity of happiness with mc. doesnt have to be something in the game itself since it can take years of research, just wanna know if umbra can get a happy ending that isnt temporary

@wolphie This is a good point! I’ll definitely add it to my to-do list. To be honest, the whole stat screen is a work in progress, so I’m happy to take suggestions.

@snas It’s okay! I wasn’t offended. If I came across as curt at all, it’s because I hadn’t been awake long, haha.

As for your question, I’d say yes. It is definitely possible—highly illegal, but possible. Umbra isn’t exactly concerned with legality, though. However, they would be most concerned about the potential repercussions on MC. That kind of thing can backfire. Umbra would insist on putting themselves into the firing line first. And this is the paradox of self-sacrificing characters, haha.

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