The Last Heir WIP

I’ve begun working on my new and first game The Last Heir. In it, you play as a prince, of one of the three human kindgoms, that have been, for hundreds of years, at war with the elven people. As your life goes as normal as ever, events force you to travel across the continet to retake your homeland!

I am thinking of having eight chapters, in total, including the Prologue. I have only written two out of eight, the Prologue and Chapter One.

Would love to see what you think about it, constructive critics about everything, spot any errors or mistakes.

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/play/inquisitortdt/the-last-heir/mygame/
To join me, on discord, go here: https://discord.gg/eBvRzKU

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I like what I read, so far. :wink: The introduction to the world is a tad confusing. It would be nice if you used quotation marks. There are some mistakes in the text and I would suggest reading it carefully once or twice. Also the continuation of the text is something you have to consider. I, personally, am bothered that my reading rythm is discontinued and that there is only one sentence is on the “next page”. It’s decent and I’m definitely going to keep an eye on this. :relaxed: Keep at it!

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Welcome, and good luck with the story! You may want to reconsider the name, though, just because of The Lost Heir, a popular Hosted Games series. I don’t know that you would have to, but it would probably be a good idea to avoid confusion.

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Let’s keep our replies focused on the WIP at hand and actionable feedback for it specifically. I don’t want to see comparisons to other WIPs or a circular “genderlock” discussion happening again where it should be happening somewhere else. Take it to another thread if the discussion doesn’t involve this specific game.

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No! Why everyone had to die? :sob: It’s so sad :persevere: Anyways, a great story and emotional too. At least I felt it. However, it was a bit difficult for me to read it in the beginning, due to the text format, I was confused where the dialogue was and who was talking. Also, when we enter our own name it just shows prince Unknown throughout the story. And the last choice when I decided to go through the west ruins, there was a Dashingdon error or something. Good luck!:kissing_heart:

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Any further comments talking about the merits or pitfalls of genderlock will be deleted. That topic has a long history on the forums and inevitably becomes circular and heated. We are nipping this one in the bud.

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I like the game but I recommend having quotation marks (“) when the characters speak so we don’t get confused.
Also, the Mc should be called by their name, not unknown.
When I was buying the over sized coat and I selected the elf to give it to then the scene skipped ahead to me defending the princess but I didn’t get there?
Later, when the queen asks the Mc how I think of Triss, the part skips ahead to the conversation ending or is it like that?
When I chose the go to triss room before Chapter 1 it just skipped the scene and took me to ch 1
Also, ch 1, the beginning it calls malagant princess instead or prince
Another is that when I choose the western way or the north to escape it said file is missing
I read the demo and I love it, can wait for more

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Sounds very interesting to be honest

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This sounds like it is going to be great the Xenophile Xenophobe stats sound like it will play a big role when it comes to the Elves and dwarfs should be very interesting to see.

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I’m confused how this post even appeared in my notifications. Is this a forum bug, @moderators?

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Your thread from the past was linked so that those that wanted to learn about genderlock could read your thread. Working as intended.

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The maps are beautiful. ^-^

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I see. Okay, then… since I’m obviously not the intented audience for this game I’ll just see myself out.

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thought this was a lost heir thread for a mo. interesting enough so far and the characters seem nice, but the lack of quotation marks (“kinda like this”, i said) makes figuring out who’s talking kinda confusing.

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I liked what i read, but i had to stop, the lack of quotation marks makes me wonder wich phrase is someone speaking and which isn´t, instead of focusing on the history, i think that should be fixed a soon as possible before any other updates.

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Thanks for all of your feedback!

Just for explanation, when I started thinking about the story, I wanted to give multiple choice gender, I wanted people to really choose their gender, however, after thinking how the story would proceed, it just became impossible to do that, this story was and is being designed for a male Mc.If it all goes well, if the WIP is finished and published, this will be one of three installements and, due to that, it makes even more harder to include more gender options, so, what I am saying is that this was interely a creative decision. If it does not include the entire public, it is like most products, it is meant for a specific segmented target.

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About the quotation marks, I was afraid of having this problem, I got inspiration from a Nobel Prize in Literature, a portuguese author, José Saramago, that does not use quotations marks, however, looks like I overvalued my language skills. I will start using more quotations, from now on, and see if I change some parts of the WIP.

@Mei_Hiroshi hahaha, the deaths are what fuels the oncoming voyage, although I am still indecise if I should let Gareth live or not, I am open to suggestions!
In addition, it should not appear Unknown throughout the story, I will look into that!

@Cool165 something is not right about those giant leaps between scenes/actions, I will see what is causing the trouble. Thanks for your eagle eyes, when it comes to Malagant being a princess!

@Arcane_warrior Indeed! That realm of stats will be explored in the coming chapters!

@Resul_Ekrem_Kaya :heart_eyes: It made my hair turn white, for the long hours it took to build.

Just for fun and curiosity, are you Team Eleana or Team Triss? And why, if you would like to explain?

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I also found one other thing, when I said that all 3 kingdoms will send 2 years sold detachments, I chose 60% or 50%to send but on the stats page it said I have 30% army strength but when I chose 85% it said I have 40% army strength, is that a bug?

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That is a good question. That army strength is not your current, but future one. Maybe what I will do is whatever number you input it will show you that number then, as the story reaches a certain moment, I will deduce it to a certain one, depending on the range that you chose it.

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Oh, so it means that’s the army strength still at disposal that is stationed while the one at home is destroyed?

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