The Golden Rose: Book One by Ana Ventura

[bric]

Dove head first into romancing Hadrian, but towards the end of the demo, I was feeling curious about a couple other people. I know there are only two confirmed ROs, but does that just mean that others haven’t been introduced as such yet? If so, Hadrian’s too sweet to play around with his feelings by flirting around though, so I imagine I’ll have to make several MCs (which is good news for the author when it comes to replayability!).

Not sure when it’s anticipated that this will be FINISHED (I think I saw that two chapters are left??) but since the public demo has wrapped up, I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for its release because I enjoyed what I read so far!

[lynossa]

That was how my first playthrough. The characters are way too interesting not to have MC for each RO route. The twins are almost definitely ROs and probably the bard (please?), Rafael and pirate king?

[mecdelli]

i don’t know how many times i’ve read your story this past year.

Summary

you know when you read something and it’s so expansive and yet, acutely inside of your skin, that you don’t know how to explain it to someone else what you’re feeling, only that it’s inside of you and you’re feeling it? i am absolutely going to fail to do justice to the world you’ve crafted here, because there’s so much, it’s So Much, but i am still going to try. it’s evocative, it’s atmospheric, it’s cinematic, it unfurls itself gracefully. the way they keep opening and closing to one another like night-blooming jasmine. the way they keep inching closer and yet, it’s this almost almost that aches through the whole story. i don’t remember the last time i read something that captured the “believing, believing, but not belonging” so excruciatingly intimately. the whole time i read it, i just kept thinking, this is how it feels and the power to render these enormous things in such precise words is… the highest art. this read like poetry, and i savoured it as slowly.
there’s something about the way you write this particular intersection of yearning to be something for someone that made me feel a bit as if i’d been bludgeoned before in the way you always are the first time you read something you’ve only ever felt before. i don’t know how to find the conclusion of my comment besides: there’s so much here. you’ve written so much. a whole galaxy with multiple worlds spinning inside it simultaneously, and i am simply grateful to watch. and i know that when we finally get a chance to read the final version, it’s going to stick with me for a long time.

[Anathema]

Oh. I… really don’t know what to say. Thank you so much for your words, for taking the time to comment. I’ve just read your post 5 times in a row and I know I’ll be reading it a lot more. Whenever I’m in need of some encouragement, some motivation. Or a simple reason to smile.

Thank you, @mecdelli, so much.

---

I’ll also go ahead and give a small progress report. The first draft of chapter 6 is going really well. It might just turn out to be my favorite chapter of the game so far. I’ve been having so much fun writing it, the pages are flying by - I just had to order another notebook.

I cannot wait to share it. To share all of it. I’ve literally had a dream about publication - it seems so close now. But the last thing I want is to rush this, not right now, in this final stretch. I just hope it’ll live to your expectations, to words like yours @mecdelli.

The first draft should be done sometime next week. Until then, stay safe and healthy! Enjoy the Holidays, if you celebrate them. But most importantly, appreciate those who make you happy.

[Eric_knight]

@Anathema

It might just turn out to be my favorite chapter of the game so far. I’v

Ohhhhh… i hope it is a chapter where we finally could change our horse…Lol
Bye bye Billy… errrrr i think it is Billy right , give me a Big Armoured horse that can charge into anything and i will be happy​:grin:

[mecdelli]

the whole time i was writing my comment, my brain was trying to convince me that no one wants to hear my stream of consciousness shit and i need to offer something constructive?

@Anathema

I’ve just read your post 5 times in a row and I know I’ll be reading it a lot more. Whenever I’m in need of some encouragement, some motivation. Or a simple reason to smile.

but now? reading your answer? my comment is doing its intended job, and i am very glad for that. and tbh i’m just happy to express my feelings toward your work, it feels good to finally yell at you about this

@Anathema

But the last thing I want is to rush this, not right now, in this final stretch.

i can’t even imagine how much time and effort it takes because i’m mostly a reader here. please, please, please take all the time you need and don’t feel obligated!

@Anathema

I just hope it’ll live to your expectations, to words like yours

oh but i’m already biased at this point, way too smitten by your style… anything you put out there, i’ll just welcome it with loving arms

[idonthaveagooduse]

So, uh, wow. This really blew my expectations. I really, really enjoyed this.

First off, I love Alessa with all my heart. God, she’s adorable. Her reactions when the MC flirts with her are amazing. Like, top notch. Plus, not really knowing how she’ll react. There are times where she’ll flirt back and others where she becomes an insecure mess.

Then there’s Hadrian, someone with whom you have little interaction if you’re not doing his route, but the talk they have in the cathedral is really good.

And of course, the damned horse lol. I’d kill for Billy. even if he does become a killer horse

As for Ysabella, I like her, but the scene where we actually meet her, I don’t know, I got a bit tired. Don’t get me wrong, it was still really good. it could just be because I spent basically the entire afternoon reading this

The other characters didn’t have that much screen time for me to really create an opinion.

About your writing: it was really good, I really liked how detailed everything is. The only problem is that there quite a bit of typos (I took like 65 screenshots; if you’re still taking reports I can send them) But they weren’t really immersion-breaking. I just really have a problem haha

Also, I found a small continuation problem; when you send Garrett to Tarek, if you choose to laugh at him, you get the same text as when you shake your head.

But, all in all, can’t wait for the full game… Good luck on finishing the project!

Edit: I completely forgot about this, but this scene after the battle with Will seems a bit strange.

[Anathema]

Hey! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts

@idonthaveagooduse

Hadrian, someone with whom you have little interaction if you’re not doing his route

Yes, that’s definitely something I’ve learned as I continued to write. That as much as I hope people will replay and see the other conversations/paths, it is very unlikely they’ll do so when one character is their chosen RO.

Plus, it’s just plain lazy planning. I should have added more moments with Hadrian and Alessa that aren’t dependent on each other in the first chapters. Whether you’re romancing one or none, the MC should be able to connect with both early on.

As it is, it would be too much of an undertaking to re-write. As I’d have to change code but, most damaging, I’d probably mess up the pacing. Chapter 4 onwards, however, you’ll be able to spend time with them both - either alone or all together - regardless of who you’re romancing.

I’ve actually just done writing one of the biggest conversations trees in the game where Hadrian and Alessa are present Pre-chapter 4 me was a very different writer than right now, as I’ve come to learn a lot.

Hopefully, by the end of the book, you can say you know him better.

@idonthaveagooduse

As for Ysabella, I like her, but the scene where we actually meet her, I don’t know, I got a bit tired.

The scene can be a bit long, definitely. Thanks for your input!

@idonthaveagooduse

The only problem is that there quite a bit of typos (I took like 65 screenshots; if you’re still taking reports I can send them)

Oh, I’m absolutely taking reports! If you can either post them here under details or send them via DM, I’d be very grateful!

[Kirlett]

@Anathema

The scene can be a bit long, definitely. Thanks for your input!

Long?! It felt too short! (It felt perfect lenght for an introduction, but I would give a kidney for a second more with the Theer siblings)

Please don’t cut Theer content, I love them too much

[idonthaveagooduse]

@Anathema

The scene can be a bit long, definitely. Thanks for your input!

Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. I thought it was just fine in terms of length. My grip is that this is one of those games that are going to be basically impossible to read all at once. But that’s good in my opinion. That means there’s a lot of content.

@Anathema

Oh, I’m absolutely taking reports! If you can either post them here under details or send them via DM, I’d be very grateful!

Ok, here goes...

Should be “undoubtedly”.

It should be “it”.

Missing space between the end and the start of the sentences.

Should be “peeking”. Also, on the first choice “ghost” is missing an “s”.

Should be “slightly”.

Should be “moping”.

No need for the plural in these.

Should be “losing”.

No need for two line breaks.

Feel like it should be either “sharp” or “sharpened”. Most likely “sharp”.

Should be “sighing”.

Should be “his”.

I believe it should be “thoroughly”. But I might be wrong on this one.

It should be “it”.

There’s no space between the dot and the start of Alessa’s sentence.

Need to cut one of the dots.

Should be “walk”.

One “the” needs to be cut.

Should be “is”.

Should be “through”.

Should be “from”.

It’s missing punctuation.

Should be “you”.

No need for an apostrophe.

I believe it should be “tightened”

It’s missing an “of”.

Miswrote “gasp”.

“Most” doesn’t work here. It could be “almost” or just cut the word completely from the sentence.

Should be “below”.

Should be “you”.

Should be “casually”.

I believe “own” and “your” should be switched.

There’s a missing space between the punctuation and the next sentence.

It’s missing the “at”.

It’s missing the letter “d”.

It’s missing the final “s”.

No need for the space in “don’ t”

Not sure if it should be “feel” but “fell” doesn’t make sense here.

Missing the “s”.

No need for the space between “else” and the dot.

There should probably be a line break before the start of Hadrian’s sentence.

It’s missing the “h”.

All of these are either missing the apostrophe and the “s” or just the apostrophe.

These should all be “your”.

And then there’s this problem when choosing the daggers as your weapon. These verbs are all on the wrong person. The first two shouldn’t have the “s”, the third and the last one should be “are”, and the fourth one should just “fly”.

[7bloodbane7]

That is the longest and most impressive lists of typos I have ever seen! Very impressive catching all those!

[starrytea]

Just finished the demo and I miss Hadrien already There is so much detailed content in this and I’m so impressed. I was surprised how fond I became over not just the main characters, but the more minor ones like the woman at The Devil’s Bridge and Father Brown. I truly love that. The humour is also I am so, so, so looking forward to the final release.

[Anathema]

Finished the first draft of Chapter 6! 🎉

And with the final dot, I’m done with handwriting. Now, it’s time to put it all into Word and fill out the meat of the chapter. The bones and tendons are all laid, the overall form settled. From here, I’ll make fiction interactive.

This is a very big chapter! Lots and lots of notebook pages, but because I was having so much fun with handwriting again, I ended up writing most of the big paths. So while it took me longer - I wanted to finish this stage before Christmas - it will also save me time in the next stage. Aside from 2 major variations, it is all pretty much written down.

I also really, really, really love it. They say write what you’d like to read and I can say this game would absolutely be one I’d like to read. I’ll probably take a couple of days off writing, but then came back in full force. The ending is so near, all the threads have come together and-

I want to get to the final chapter! I’m so excited!!!

I wish you all a wonderful turn of the year. May 2021 be better and kinder than this one. Stay safe and healthy, everyone

[Kirlett]

I hope we go to the Ball in Chapter 6 I wanna dance with Alain

[Mistyleaf123]

good luck! can’t wait to see what you’ve done

[sasa_se]

This is really good, looking forward to the release

[runawaymusic]

hi! I tried to send an ask on Tumblr but for some reason it wouldn’t let me? question under the cut just in case of spoilers

Summary

I was wondering something. I’ve heard that that some ROs won’t be introduced until after book one. if we enter into a romance or initiate anything with ROs in book one, will that lock us out of romancing the new ROs in future books? will we have to remain unattached in book one to have a chance with the newer ROs? thank you!

[Anathema]

@runawaymusic

I’ve heard that that some ROs won’t be introduced until after book one.

Hello! This is actually no longer true. You will have the chance to meet all potential ROs of the series in book one.

As for locking choices… I am not a fan of it. Can you not flirt with Alain if you have done the same with Alessa? Can you flush under Vallen’s stare even if you’ve returned some of Hadrian’s attentions? Can you flirt with the fishwife? Tease the horse master?

I know I’ve said it before, and excuse me for being a broken record, but I really like, as a reader, when there are consequences for my actions. And I want those consequences to translate into text. Into narrative.

That doesn’t mean you will never enter a relationship, however. Quite the contrary. All romance options will have a point where you both decide to be together. To devote yourself to one another. Either in conversation, with some characters, or through gestures with others. There will be a point where, say, Alessa considers you with her. And the MC considers her with them.

With all the expectations and responsibilities that entails.

What I mean when I say that I won’t lock romance, is that even after that point, well… you have freedom. You can make decisions. I won’t lock those possibilities. You’ll just have to be prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions.

---

I’ll also use this opportunity to give a little progress update.

Writing has been going very well! Chapter 6 stands at 32k words, and so far, writing the second draft has been as enjoyable as the first.

This chapter has 4 big, major scenes. I managed to finish the first one this week and make a very decent head-start in the second. This second one, however, has two split versions. My goal is to either finish or be near finishing the first version of scene two by the end of next week. Fingers crossed!

But one of the four giants is done, and it was also the one I was most nervous about. The beginning of chapters… those are always difficult. Plus, it dealt with someone I was itching to introduce for a long time. I want to do good by them, they are a character that has been with me for years.

Only time will tell if I succeeded, but I am happy with what I wrote. I suppose that, in the end, that’s all I can do.

I wish you all a lovely weekend!

[Jeren]

I had fun time reading your demo and thought to point one thing out before it gets published.
I hope you don’t mind ^^;;
The Sinful and Pious system keeps nagging at me.
This is ‘Roman religion’ vs ‘Catholic religion’, am I right?
I think the system should sound neutral and in this case more specific since MC’s overall attitude and the implied past background makes it look all the more confusing.

Wish you good health and luck with your CoG!

[kinsmarts]

The Golden Rose: Book One by Ana Ventura

You just inflated mine and my sister’s ego - so a big thank you for your comment Glad you enjoyed her. Alessa is extremely fun to write. I can’t wait to show you more about her. Also, team rogue for life! I love double daggers too. They’re so badass. That’s good to hear To be honest, writing character interactions is one of my favorite things to write about. Right after descriptions. I’m kinda fearful that some of the “romance” interactions may appear too early in th…

I think the answer your are looking is here. It has more to do with the status quo, following an pagan religion is definitely considered sinful in this univerve status quo. Im curious as well about our past and how this meter will affect the story. I have some hunches about our character past:

The hand has something with it, maybe an not pleasant encounter with some inquisitor? Maybe even an trial by ordeal? “Hold an red hot iron to prove your innocence”