There’s not enough steampunk stories out there so i’m excited to see where this goes.
I love the world building, the characters, the humour and I definitely love your art. Everything is fun, cool and cute, especially John, he’s adorable. I already adopted him ![]()
@moderators Can I have my post reopened for editing please? There’s something I want to update in my post. Thank you
Try it now!
Yep, I’ve edited it just now. Thank you!
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Welp, I know who’s heart I’m out to steal. ![]()
This was so wonderful! I adored it, the gorgeous art, and I cracked up at several passages; you speak my language, lol.
@Susubachee do you have a Tumblr for your project by chance? I scrounged around here but couldn’t find one mentioned anywhere (admittedly, I never use the CoG forums soooo, I’m a wee fish out of water here). I’d like to share your IF on my Tumblr even if you don’t use it, as long as you don’t mind that is. I just didn’t want to assume it was okay if you weren’t a fan of the platform or something. ![]()
@LuJay
Thank you! I’m so relieved that my attempt at writing comedy actually landed, haha ![]()
About tumbler, I do plan to make one, maybe at the end of this month. And sure, you’re free
to share my IF. If anything I’d be so grateful of it, thank you very much!
Oh yes, I lost it in the most undignified way right at the beginning, lol. The interactions with the characters are gold, dear. There’s a wonderful genuine humor in those moments. All of it is brilliant, and your brand of comedy resonates with me a lot. I’ll give you a follow on Tumblr once you’re in the neighborhood! Until then, I’ll share your link and creep around your forum. ![]()
I just read this, and it was quite interesting so far.
I’ve seen people complaining about the tone of the story, but I don’t necessarily think it was too humorous to be fair. What bothered me a little bit was the lack of emotional + serious answers from the MC? If I look at my stats, I have a very “serious”, very “awkward” and slightly “rational” MC. Now, since the code isn’t public I can’t say for sure, but I assume most “emotional” responses are also more comedic and since I play a serious MC, he naturally became “rational” too because of that. It would be nice to get some more “emotional” non humorous responses, I guess? But that’s a bit of a nitpick - just something I realized at the end of my playthrough + the fact more often than not I actively wished for a more emotional answer, but there were none that fit the way I was playing my MC.
Other small things:
- When the MC and John look through articles about the Raven in the archives, I feel like it would make sense for the MC to think that it’s all the more likely they were framed since some ANONYMOUS TIP contained the sketch used for the wanted posters, meaning the person on it could be literally anyone but the Raven, so the police is basically being way too zealous and unfair, espcially with the size of the reward. And I know you can discuss the weirdness of the bounty later on, but I feel like it could warrant an on the spot reaction from the MC, if it makes sense?
- Also not sure if the interaction about if the investigation jogged MC’s memories is meant to be exactly the same with John and Aeren? Since no one commented on it in-game, I assume it’s a mistake? Like we get the exact same dialogue choices - and one instance right after the other, too.
I’ve also seen various typos and grammar issues, but I assume it’s something you’ll want to check after the thing is written, so I didn’t really look for these!
That aside, I have a theory about what’s going on!
Obvious spoilers for people who don’t want to see theories
So… my theory is that the MC is the Raven’s… raven. We know the bird disappeared somewhere, the mysterious informant whom I suspect is the Raven knew where to find the MC and delivered a detailed sketch to the police, we have a lot of interesting flavor text if the MC has black hair and golden eyes like the bird’s feathers and its own eyes, and it would explain the disgusting food the MC was fed in the first memory (which is with ??? and, if my theory is right, the actual Raven). Not to mention the second memory, with the man saying that he’s not sure the MC even can use a pipe, and to stay away if anyone uses it (with the pipe apparently absorbing the life force of lesser beings, it would make sense for him to be worried about his bird). And we know someone lost their memories after being faced directly or indirectly with the Raven, so it’s possible the Raven erased MC’s memories intentionally for some plan or another. Or maybe even something went awry during a heist and the Raven was forced to do whatever he did that transformed the MC. Them becoming human may also be the effects of one of the Treasures for all we know! But yeah, while the “how” remains a mystery to me, the “what” I’m almost sure about!
@Konoi
Thank you for your feedback!
There are some emotional and serious responses, although some of them may appear only if you choose certain paths.
My plan is to make emotional mc more expressive, get sad and angry easily, intuitive, and empathize with people more, meanwhile rational mc is calmer, logical, more detail-oriented, and sometimes dense with people feelings
I want to show the code to the public, but there’s some spoiler inside, so I’ll make it visible once the spoiler has become public secret or a highly possible theory.
Also, since you’re going for a serious + emotional mc, here are some choices that may fit that tone :
Prologue
-if you choose to stand atop the police car : #No one can catch me, no one! (emotional)
-if you ask the police if you look like a criminal : #I’m sorry to hear that (serious + emotional)
-when Aeren is unlocking your chain : #This is sexual harassment! (serious + emotional)
-when running from the police : #That arm is useless! (emotional)
-when falling from the sky :#Scream as loud as you can (serious+ emotional)
-during the eavesdropping section :#I feel betrayed (emotional)
-if you confront Aeren and John : #You mean the talk about you planning to turn me in? Not at all. (serious + emotional)
-if you try to escape from the window : #“You think I can just politely ask to leave when your intention is to turn me in?” (serious + emotional)
Chapter 1-A
-wake up by screaming
-if you butcher the breakfast : #NOOO! and #Don’t hand me over! (emotional)
-if you get knocked out by Aeren’s arm : "I was just trying to wake you up (serious + emotional)
-when checking the wanted posters : #There’s no sign of their wanted posters here. (serious + emotional)
Chapter 1-A indeed has less emotional/rational options, since it’s only half of chapter 1.
More of them will be added in the rest of chapter.
(Also just noticed some of these choices don’t really feel serious, so I might tweak them a bit later)
Yes, I did plan on making on the spot reactions everytime the MC read each articles, but because John and MC will discuss it later with Aeren, I was afraid it would be redundant.
But the reactions do feel more realistic, so I might add them later, maybe just a little bit so it won’t feel repetitive.
Ah yes, the dialogue choices are the same because John and Aeren ask the same thing,
so i thought, let’s just copy-paste it. Although the choices are the same, Aeren’s and John’s reaction to your answer will always be different.
A very great theory, by the way! I love seeing people making a theory about the story! Thank you very much!
Oh, thanks for the choice suggestions for emotional without being comedic! Funnily enough, I didn’t pick most of these choices because the prompt felt to me like they’d lead to more “funny” situations so I didn’t even consider them! I’ll probably go back and switch one or two of my answers around.
Though others simply feel like they don’t “fit” my MC if it makes sense? Like my MC tends to be nice and all, so screaming at Aeren that the arm is useless isn’t really a good option to me either, for example. Or yelling at the police that they’ll never get him is too agressive for what I’m going for.
But for example stuff like the “you mean the talk about you planning to turn me in” and so on felt sarcastic to me, so I assumed it was a “funny” one and picked the genuine option to say yes. It’s similar to the harassment one.
@Konoi
Yup, the “you mean the talk about you planning to turn me in” is actually one of the choices I’m planning to tweak with.
Will also add more emotional but also less aggressive choices from now on, so that emotional mc doesn’t feel like angry all the time, haha ![]()
Thank you for the feedback!
Glad the suggestions help! I always feel a bit bad since I don’t want it to come off as demanding haha!
But don’t worry, I’ve noticed it’s a common “mistake” actually, in games that have an “emotional” personality stat. I mean, the defaulting to agressive emotions but not really accounting for stuff like strong reactions of joy, sadness, fear and what not. Usually more get added along the way.
I belive there is an error when looking for the password for the journal, only the image of the whole room the the journal work, at least for me.
@noone2.0
Oh you’re right! It seems that not all assets were uploaded. It should be fixed now. Thank you for telling me! If you find another bugs please let me know.
I have stumbled upon a gem omg. I need this to get popular like asap. The art is absolutely gorgeous and the plot is what gets me. Can anyone tell me the password to H (forgot his name) journal?
@star2
Hello! I’m glad you love the art and the plot! You can visit my tumblr if you want to see the puzzle guide. Or if you want the quick answer, the password is 5849
Please add a cute goth ro
Love your art style personal opinion more tattoos and piercings would be nice for Customised options and Ros on my third reread loving it
@jasper13 Thank you, I’m glad you’re enjoying the game. More customization will be added in future chapters. As for cute goth RO, it does sound tempting
… but I can’t promise anything just yet haha
Thank you for the feedback!
