Hi! I played the first chapter and while the writing and describing of fantasy-elements is beautifully done (besides pacing, goes way to fast for me to even process any sought of opinion on a character let alone the mc’s ‘average joe’s’ world/experience itself.), but a few critiques I have and which I’ve seen already mentioned a fair amount is it feels as if I’m reading a pre-determined book instead of a book branded to be a choice-based one. My ‘persona’, if you will, has quite a specific set when it comes to personality, I’m quite deeply connected to that and by god did I feel like I wasn’t playing him at all - the suggested crush on a woman doesn’t work out due to me being gay, the mc seems to have a planned reaction to things which could very much tell a lot about the character, their personality, beliefs, ect, yet all that option for the interactive fiction part to really shine through seemingly never comes, and so I’m left baffled when the mc does things I know my persona would never if at all do, such as screaming out madly, bawling uncontrollably or even helping the other characters (he’s very much a sick individual, rarely ever feels genuine romantic attraction and is self-serving), so to see him drag along a supposed crush I never really wished for then to breakdown over her, yeah, that is not my mc and it really breaks the immersion, as well as feeling like I’m simply a passing thought in a story played by a whole other character. BUT, it is very early gates and Interactive fictions are no easy task, so I wish you well and props for even getting started! I hope it can become something truly wonderful and unique, as long as it forms itself to be a story that caters to the player’s choices rather than a story that caters to an established path, I say it’d flourish. Hope this is explained understandably. Much love and hope all is well <3
Thank you for the pros and cons! I will put this all into revising the chapter, absolutely.
Answers:
- I do plan on it, I would say height, build, and style will all appear in chapter 2. As for hair color, I think I’ll add more variety as well, for sure.
- You will indeed get more info on your mc.
- There will be 6 weapons to choose from. Each one corresponding to each stat. So, let’s say someone chose the first option, it would have to do with the first stat, resolve.
And no, you were not rude at all! I released this chapter for the sake of feedback, after all! It’s very much needed! You have a great day too and thank you for playing! @Jonyxtion
Hi! Thank you for playing the demo!
I will definitely revise the pacing and the aforementioned crush on Veronica, as well as give the players more ways to choose their personality! I think I got too focused on getting this first chapter out, which is way this 1st chapter falls short in some areas. But rest assured, I will definitely put out a revised version of this chapter soon!
Thank you for the kind words as well. I truly do hope this becomes well-liked by many people.
Best character in the game, for sure.
It was pretty good author, now if you excuse me I wanna cry my heart out for w best friend that was a real homie and best woman that stuck with my sorry for ass, to get the cat
Please don’t take away the chance for the MC to have a crush on Veronica. I want the despair and sadness after what happened to her.
Don’t worry, I’ll be giving the players a choice to decide how they view Veronica as. Hope you enjoyed the demo though!