fixed
The character pages didn’t work at all for me. If I click on Character Database, there are two options, one Confidential and one Top Secret, and both show nothing but ‘???’ - there was no information for any characters that I had met. I was trying to use it to find Ace’s name, but there was no information for him, or Gigi, or Johnny, or anyone.
While playing through the game, it very much felt like you had a specific idea of who the main character should be, and none of my choices or characterization mattered because they would get overwritten by your idea of the main character. That’s most of what I mean by fanfiction, though the scene with Ace also read like someone desperately trying to show off their own character, like ‘look how cool and amazing and invincible my character is, he’s so perfect and no one else matters because he can do everything’, which was…kind of annoying.
I understand the MC being new and inexperienced. I understand that most other characters will be stronger and more knowledgeable than them. That’s not a problem. But when there’s long stretches of the game where my supposed ‘main character’ doesn’t exist because the writing is focusing exclusively on ‘look at how amazing everyone else is, you have no choice but to be amazed’, that isn’t fun. At least for me.
I’m not trying to discourage you, just bringing up some of my issues with my first time through the demo. The concept seemed interesting, and I did enjoy the beginning of the game, but I started getting more annoyed the further I played, until I finally quit shortly after the end of Chapter 1; getting ‘assigned’ a personality that didn’t match what I had in mind for my character at all was a pretty major drawback to me. Maybe you could actually say what personality type each of the choices mean, since I didn’t understand how some of those choices were ‘ruthless’…
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(post deleted by author)
- Yeah, that’s what’s supposed to happen. Everything about those characters is shown in the final card. Plus, now that Gigi is… well, dead, there wasn’t much point in including it there.
- Regarding the Ace critique — I’m still not sure how that’s what stood out to you. He’s clearly irresponsible, not great at looking after his own family (for his own reasons), and relies on childish/flawed ideals of justice. The purpose of that long section was to show why he’s (as you probably noticed) the strongest.
- Yeah, that’s fair . I wanted to use those moments so they can pay off later in the MC’s development, but I’ll probably ease up a bit in future chapters.
- Lastly, about the personality types: the five options are meant to be pretty straightforward in how they present themselves — there’s the shy/awkward one, the aggressive one, the goofy/idiotic one, etc. After this chapter, your MC will have certain dialogue options and choices that depend on the locked personality type. I’ll also try to make them a bit more obvious going forward.
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Yeah, regarding point 4, they were not straightforward at all to me. I was aiming for shy/awkward, and got ruthless instead, which did not fit how I wanted to play my character at all. That was a big reason why I quit playing after Chapter 1, I didn’t want to be locked into something that I didn’t want to play as.
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Sorry about that. I’ll for sure tweak it a bit in the next update if you do stick around. Probably tomorrow)
On another note, I really appreciate the feedback, it helps me out a lot. (Now I’ve got a better sense of what counts as too much exposition, lol) Glad you thought the concept was cool.
Hello, I just found your WIP and it seems very intriguing, but I have a question to ask. In your post you mentioned 7 main ROs, but there are only 6 of them listed. Is it a mistake or is the 7th RO a mystery?
(Shh it’s a secret for now…)
Yeah so.. The fact I am forced into, a height, etc is really a kill deal, like someone else said it feels too much like playing an oc that isn’t ours
The writing is nice though, hope you find people who will be into this
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I’ll make it more customizable in the next update, wasn’t sure of how much it mattered
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(post deleted by author)
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Dear Author , Write the game how you feel its best. People are making comparisons of your work with other wips and using it to judge this if.
It is different but you do your thing. People here feel entitled because reading through the comments, not one person has made a very coherent valid critique. It is also not surprising how people are impatient with a bit of prose narrative for introductory chapters till we get into the actual thing where our choices will be plenty and matter
Getting put off because you cant change your height?? Wow.
You want to go for shy or awkward, you choose for shy/awkward . Smh
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Thanks for understanding what I was going for 
I never wanted the MC to feel like just another OC. There are some elements that won’t change due to the the narrative structure, but I’m totally fine with making the MC’s image more player-driven. (My main goal with writing is for others to enjoy the story, not just myself.)
I was aiming for something similar to Fallen Hero or SoH, with a protagonist clearly shaped by their past and where they are now. Still, I definitely see the value in what most people are saying.
That said, I just updated the game to let players choose height and skin tone. The next chapter should be out in a month or two, and I’ll release a simpler build on CoG Demos around then too, which WILL HAVE MORE CHOICES (I’ll probably shorten the sewer section as well)
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To be fair, some of the choices aren’t super clear which stat they will raise. The ones that boost ruthless or delinquent could honestly pass for either one several times, and when you bump into Johnny the “Who the hell are you?” option, which I assumed was rude/ruthless was the ‘idiot’ option. Getting your personality choices right in this matters more because there’s a personality lock apparently, and the quiet option = ruthless sometimes in this.
As for the appearance thing, people usually just want creative control over their character, so they can self insert or enjoy their ideal protagonist, especially with a theme like power fantasy.
I think that would help. To be entirely honest, I stopped around the part where you get attacked when with Gigi and Johnny since.. well, I was already just skimming through since I felt railroaded and like I had no control over my character. There was almost no choices in what you do or how you react to anything during that part and I lost interest.
(Speaking of, the scene before that where you agree that Johnny is an idiot and decide to manipulate them as pawns gives… HERO ++? Is that a bug?)
Anyway- I’ll keep an eye out for the update since I think there’s potential here, there just needs to be more player reactivity. Like I said before, the thing with the curfew stressing the MC out even if you repeatedly picked that you would be ignoring it, or when you pick that Gigi annoys you then the text flips around to say-
”That went well? You think that went well.”
when your MC probably wouldn’t care if it did or not in that case.
It was mentioned before, but I think the issue is that you have an idea in your mind of how the MC should be/what they should do. I didn’t think there was any point so far where an option I picked made me feel like I influenced my character or what happened next.
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Yeah the hero thing is probably a bug.
But regarding everyone’s criticism, Ill update the game tomorrow to add more variety.
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I noticed that even though I selected a female gender character, that Johnny sometimes refers to my MC as a male in some parts of the game.
fixed
HOW did I miss that bro 
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Hey, I think you messed up with the code for the MC’s name by using some kind of placeholder. Because my character’s name is Adam, but he’s sometimes called Luvio (or was it Julio, i forgot)