Sins of the Crown WIP

Sins of the Crown: A sister's descent (WIP)

Hello everyone, hope you are having a good day.

Thank you to those that have been here since day one, and welcome to all those interested in seeing where this story goes.

You’ve done everything to avoid this outcome, yet here you are, embarking on a bloody campaign of your own. This one promises to surpass all others in the history books though. But what else can you expect when you’re unearthing secrets that laid the foundation of the very world?

Sins of the Crown: A sisters descent is a Fantasy/Sci-fi story by Pariah where your choices control the story.

  • Play as male, female non-binary; gay, straight, bisexual or asexual
  • Explore 4 romances with characters possessing their own ideals, morals, and hidden agendas
  • Unravel the mysteries of your spacefaring ancestors, where every revelation could reshape the world.
  • Harness elemental powers and wield formidable weapons to carve a path through your enemies. Or, opt for a more subtle approach slipping in and out of the shadows.
  • Customize your gear and appearance to reflect your unique style and choices.
  • And amidst the chaos remember to question everything.

STORY LINK (4/10/2024 - Very Minor Update)
It seems I’m not going to make my month update deadline, but I can still provide a minor update.
https://dashingdon.com/go/15921

Character/Romance Tease

A piece of dialogue from each character. Minor to heavy spoilers incoming.

Liira “Does it ever get easier, telling them they aren’t coming home?”

Rauk “We both understand what needs to be done. And we both know what’s waiting for me at the end.”

Echo (Male) “I will drag you to glory, whether you like it or not.”

Echo (Female) “Do not mistake this for kindness. I will keep my promise whatever it takes.”

Isona “I still want to be rescued. Is it so wrong for me to wish for that?”

Killian “I want to lie and say I’m fighting for something”

Safie “I would give anything to know less.”

Ermes “We are playing with forces far beyond our comprehension but that is what makes it fun.”

Dev Update Log

4/10/2024 Update (Minor)

  • Fixed a bug where regardless of power choice player ended up with Ice magic.
  • Implemented relationship stats.
  • Minor stat tweaks across the board.
  • Closed off player progress at Path split for now.

4/25/2024 Progress Update

  • Path 1 Complete
  • Not implemented yet
Dev Rant

4/10/2024 Rant
Its sad that I can’t update the story for the month, but I think this decision will be worth it in the long run. These 3 paths are vastly different from each other and for each I was hoping to explore a different aspect of the world and characters.

But talk is cheap, and I don’t expect anyone to believe me until I deliver.

PS. Sorry the first part of the Prologue is so short by the way, but I’m also glad the initial test story was that short. I couldn’t imagine having to rewrite and rework everything I’ve done till now.

End of rant.

I update Tumblr on my progress when I can, and sometimes provide game files, so if you are interested you can head here. I prefer to update the forums version when there are significant changes and progress. Not to say these updates are insignificant, but they are much smaller by comparison.

If you are interested in early game files, sneak peaks at unedited work and would like to support the game you can head here.

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@PariahLight found this:

intro line 82: increasing indent not allowed, expected 7 was 8

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you’ve made a promising start with your writing, but it feels like it could use more depth and clarity. while reading, I found it a bit challenging to discern the genre, and it seemed like the story was attempting to encompass too many elements simultaneously. providing some additional context could help anchor the reader within the narrative, but I understand that this is just a proof of concept so far.

your writing style is undeniably beautiful, yet there are some grammar mistakes and a scarcity of punctuation that could be addressed. despite this, the central mystery surrounding the rebellion and the royal family is intriguing, and I’d love to see where that goes.

the pacing… there were moments where it felt a bit off, and the dialogue could benefit from more personalization rather than solely serving as a vessel for conveying information. although the characters and storyline captured my interest, I did find certain aspects confusing and rushed.

I see significant potential in this, perhaps more stuffing before it’s a delicious baked bread! :croissant:

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Hello I’m really really sorry about that. It seems that slipped under my radar but I went ahead and quickly fixed it.

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Thank you for the insight. Some of the issues you bought mirrored a few of the things I thought would be a concern especially the pacing.

In terms of the world I was thinking of making a separate page in stats for history, legends and anything else to clarify a few things.

Again thanks for the feedback

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Very short, but pretty interesting.

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@PariahLight my curiosity is peaked looking forward to seeing more.

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I feel like I’m being incredibly dumb right now cause I don’t know how to edit my original post. Help would be appreciated but I’ll keep searching for the answer so in the meantime here is an “update”.

Please also ignore the fact it’s in the wrong blog.

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Not dumb at all! It’s because of your trust level on the forum - once you post in more threads over time it will allow you to edit your posts. I’ve made your first post into a wiki in the meantime so you should be able to edit it now.

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Thank you very much. I appreciate the help and information.

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Hi, I still have yet to reach the appropriate trust level, and I’ve finally gotten the game out of the prototype stage and want to change the name of the post so could someone please help. I’d just like to change it to “Sins of the Crown WIP” if possible.

Thanks in advance if I am not around to see it.

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Done.

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A sneak peek at some of the work. Still a lot to do and I’m not a 100% satisfied but there is progress.

A much later scene in Path 1

The start of Path 3

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