I do Not know, If it is, because I am too old or foreign, but what exactly is shame posting?
I’ll be up front and say I didn’t know that thread existed, so it’s good there’s something
Thank you! I’m not sure if I’m back permanently, since I’m still feeling things out, but I have missed the community 
Now, I’m on my way out the door to an interview, so I haven’t checked the thread you linked, but are there currently any genuine appeals processes or guidelines for moderator/leader behavior, that users should know? As much as we would love perfection, there are still going to be times when a moderator takes a hasty or incorrect action, and it seems only fair that there’s some sort of system to prevent it happening, like user appeals, three strikes for mods, etc.
8 Likes
I was writing a long explanation why I don’t think it’s a great choice that is absolutely suitable for any occasion, but accidentally deleted it, so I keep it short: assuming for the people that they are hurt and their bullies should be punished while person isn’t hurt, can in some cases lead to said "protected " person be off-putted from forum by this. From my own moderation experience I know that is usually a very hard choice, though, so I can understand your position.
3 Likes
For what it is worth, I think punishment severity is the main reason this place is perceived as being over-moderated. While on the whole there are more stringent guidelines here than other forums I have been a part of, the actual number of bans seems to be no higher than usual, and might actually be lower. But the bans are often egregiously long, the sort of thing most forums would only employ for a user who had a long history of previous shorter bans and other issues. Default ban lengths should be measured in days and weeks, not years and, uh, millennia in some cases.
51 Likes
Speaking from a decade of experience here, short bans accomplish very little. People do not moderate their behavior after a short ban. If anything, they just come back with a chip on their shoulders. Short bans typically lead to long bans very quickly. Therefore, I’ve come to the conclusion that short bans are largely pointless and just lead to more trouble.
Long bans give people the opportunity to grow and mature and subsequently return with a different perspective.
7 Likes
I would advise you to add info about it in the rules. I thought that bans here are short especially for people who made mistakes for the first time, and I’m unpleasantly surprised of hearing about “years and millenias”. While I’m not planning to break any rules, as I can see, it’s up to mods.
32 Likes
how would they be able to come back after a thousand years …
47 Likes
I imagined that it is some eldritch abomination that was banned for racism to a human race or something
And after a millenia it would appear here with words like HAHAHA MORTALS MY WAITING IS FINALLY OVER
18 Likes
The built-in suspension number for a “forever” ban in the Discourse software is 1,000 years.
10 Likes
This is the way
i was a bit shocked to read this post
In my opinion this is a bit overkill and a bit unnecessary, a year suspension should be the last tool for moderator to use.
but dont get me wrong i dont like shame posting when it is with ill intent,
but this:
if i make a funny meme with me self in it and someone ask me if they can repost it, and i say “Yes” then its not shame posting, as long as the person who post dont post it with an intent to harm.
What do you mean by this?
I interpret this as “if you question my rule i will send you to gulag”
will i get a year suspension for writing this?
so before i get suspended for questioning this rule that i think has way to many flaws in it, that will get people more punishment than needed, i want to say something to the moderators.
Read what @Gower
said about moderating i think that had a lot of wisdom
i hope you moderators have some kind of knights of the round table set up (ish discord or some thing) where you have discussions where you talk about problems and cases that needs to be solved
giving “one” moderator the power to suspend is to much power. i think the moderators should come to a mutual decision if they should suspend or not.
plz dont use threats as moderator that does not solve anything.
72 Likes
In this context, it is screenshotting someone’s post with the intention of ridiculing them. Obviously quoting someone with the intention of being cruel to them would be the same idea.
2 Likes
By the way!
Discussing is a great tool in modding a forum. Usually if a choice is hard you can discuss it with other mods or even have a voting. It helps a lot and makes the forum safer for common users. I really hope you have such a system, and if not, I recommend it, since its really cool and useful.
4 Likes
I see this thread has becoming Shaming @Eiwynn the group.
All of you should be more respectful of others and not criticise willy-nilly.
That is all in The faq rules very loud and clear. I won’t let people here attack anyone or shame post against that person.
Where is all the be kind and respectful of others?
This toxicity is making me sick.
4 Likes
Thank you, for your clarification. 
1 Like
I’d be curious to know how many people banned for a year or more returned when the time is up. I’ve seen several come back, but then the ones who don’t would not be as visible.
I’ve moderated online forums off and on since 2003, and I definitely agree that shorter bans mean a lot more mod work, and that’s nothing to sneeze at. Most mods here (like everywhere) are unpaid and do it out of the love of the community, and even the actual HG and CoG employees undoubtedly have better things to do with their company time than micromanage Deeznutz420 by handing out his fourth 24 hour timeout in as many days. But there still should be at least one step between warning and 365 day ban for all but the absolute most egregious offenses. That would not put a lot of extra load on the mods and would still give people a chance to alter their course before they get nuked from a place they care about for a whole year or more.
56 Likes
There are I was suspended for a month. So those exist.
Bullying and shaming another forum user is such an offense.
3 Likes
This has been a concern of mine, as well.
I apologize if I’ve personally come across this way; I’ve been very careful to try not to name names, and I like to think everyone else has, as well, save for the very first post that mentioned somebody by name.
I agree. I willingly left for a year, and I only came back because, frankly, I’m bored and isolated with the pandemic. Had COVID-19 not occurred, I never would have come back, and there are a lot of people I care deeply about on this forum, whom I miss and missed while I was gone.
Finally,
I would be careful saying things like this, because I’m not viewing anything anyone says as toxic. This kind of thinking can and does cause things to escalate. I’m sorry, if I’m the one misinterpreting others’ tones, and Mara is correct, of course; in which case, yes, we should try to ramp things down and be more civil and understanding of the fact that, for most people here, this is a volunteer/free time activity, not a job.
52 Likes
I have pretty mixed feelings on all this, so I’m just going to drop this here and if it helps anyone with anything then that’s cool I guess.
I agree that shaming culture is bad, and being kind to each other is good, and I value empathy and respect. I also think that pushing these things too far can become toxic in its own right.
Speaking from my personal experience here, I’ve seen a lot of thoughtful discussion about writing, about identity, about where those things meet…really some great conversations that I’m so glad I got a chance to have.
I also have seen some posts throughout my time here that were bigoted or outright hateful, and I have felt unable to speak up about them, even in private to a mod or something, because I fear that if I do so, I will be perceived as the hateful one – that I would be the one guilty of “shaming”, if you will, for not tolerating the other person’s intolerance. I had hoped I would come to a place where I would be able to stand up for myself (or not have to in the first place), but instead I feel all the more encouraged to just keep my head down until I drown.
I’m sure the problem here is at least partly on me – I’m kind of timid to begin with, I don’t like confrontation, I don’t like getting people in trouble. And, of course, maybe I’m not clear enough on the more concrete rules and policies to understand what is actionable and what is not. But I wanted to try and explain why I think the sort of stuff being discussed in this topic and the overall culture of the forum at large, even if well-intentioned, can ultimately backfire. It can result less in respect and acceptance, and more in fear and apathy - especially for people like me who have trouble coming forward about things in the first place.
18 Likes
As per the posted guidelines
1 Like