I’ve decided to revive this thread because if we don’t revive old threads people make new threads that then have to get merged or they just don’t see it because it does not show up readily.
Note: targeting this mostly at HG authors. COG has inclusivity requirements that tend to mean these issues don’t come up. I am also a lesbian, so while I’ve got some of the general stuff covered, its going to branch off into lesbian and F/F relationship specifics so I encourage other people to chime in!
- Most of these games take place in a fantasy world or alternate reality that contains things like dragons, magic, or otherwise unrealistic content, therefore meaning that we do not need to add in homophobia for “realism”.
Marginalized groups of many sorts are frequently subject to being used as ‘trauma porn’ (yes, this is the real term) for people outside of those groups. In the case of same-sex relationships, this is where straight people only portray same-sex relationships when there is hardship and struggle because it is entertaining for them. At best, this perpetuates the idea that same-sex relationships and representation are only valuable in contexts where it is entertaining for straight people. At worst, this perpetuates the view that same-sex relationships need to be punished.
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Assuming you are writing a romance between two characters and not two stereotypes, you can write a same-sex(*) romance the same way you write a straight romance 97% of the time. The majority of differences in how relationship interactions go for same sex couples comes from the fact that we have been discriminated against since forever. I am, of course, going to list a bunch of exceptions to this below, but start here.
(*) Same-sex is being used here to indicate ‘same-gender-identity’ unless otherwise stated. -
In an F/F relationship there is no man. In an M/M relationship there is no woman. This is the point. This goes back to my point about writing characters and not stereotypes. If you write a romance between the stereotype of a 1950’s straight couple, then yes you will run into problems trying to make it an LGBT romance but otherwise you’re probably fine.
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Mind your anatomy in explicit scenes. (PG explanation) Probably the only time I would recommend stopping and questioning yourself every sentence as a straight person writing an LGBT relationship is when writing explicit scenes. Please stop and think “does this make sense given the anatomy of the two people in this relationship?”
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Don’t kill off your only gay character or otherwise your only character in a same-sex relationship. A great solution to this is to not have only one gay character. If you need more info on why this is offensive, please see this article on the Bury Your Gays trope.
“But how do I know if my player character is in a same-sex relationship since this is IF?” When considering “is my writing (overall) sensitive and diverse?” assume the player character is straight. If you are relying on the player character to be the sole representation of same-sex relationships, you are doing representation wrong. (Common sense exceptions apply: if you only have three characters in the whole story, one being the MC and two being the ROs, this rule does not apply. It does, however, apply if you have a rich cast of named NPCs and all of them are straight)
F/F Specific
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Honestly, if you’re reading this article because you need it, just don’t touch the words ‘butch’ or ‘femme’. Not all lesbians or people in F/F relationships are ‘butch’ or ‘femme’. These words are not just adjectives talking about aesthetic appearances, they are specific identities that exist because of historical discrimination against lesbians and therefore probably don’t even exist culturally in your world. Bi and Pan women have their own variants of these identities. This is not even an exhaustive list of why you don’t need these words.
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Chest-touching. This one was pointed out to me by a bi friend of mine but it is common for women to put hands on a man’s chest in romantic but not explicit settings. As many women have breasts, putting a hand on female-identifying partner’s chest does not read quite the same way.
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Are you making a gender-locked lesbian character (probably not applicable to the player character)? Other tropes to avoid: Don’t have a major portion of their backstory be that they were sexually assaulted by a man. Similarly, don’t have a man tell a lesbian he could turn her straight. Don’t have your lesbians try to ‘turn’ straight girls. Don’t put your lesbians in a scene where they are being hit on by men so you can make a whole thing about ‘haha she’s a lesbian’.