How to write LGBT romance

[Ozymandias]

It occurred to me I don’t actually know how to write an LGBT romance the other day, assuming its any different from writing a heterosexual romance. Is there anything I should take into consideration that is mostly unique to a non-heterosexual romance? Any input is appreciated

[BoisterousBumblebee]

I wouldn’t that there is huuuuge difference between the two. Perhaps sex would be different but thats only biologically speaking, but as for romance?
I wouldn’t say so. I’d court a woman the same as a man would. Free from outdated and chauvinistic constraints In an ideal society.

[The_Lady_Luck]

Yeah, any differences would depend on the RO and culture in question.

[EclecticEccentric]

I think writing LGBT+ romances would be different depending on the attitudes of the world towards said romances. Is this a bigoted world where people look down on LGBT+ relationships or is it a world where everyone is treated equally? A romance in one situation would play out differently from a romance in another.

[ParrotWatcher]

I would suggest that you steer clear of homophobia, though, at least in IF. If the game makes it much harder for gay players than straight ones, then it’s not going to be a game I’d want to play. That’s not to say that you can’t write stories about (or featuring) homophobia, but it should be something that all players/readers have to deal with, not just those of us who happen to be gay.

Other than that, and the actual physical acts of sex, @TSSL made a list of other differences he had noticed in another thread recently:

@TSSL

Generally, I feel that the only real differences between a gay and a straight romance would be in the act of sex itself and in how the world views their relationship (including how the characters view it themselves).

For the sake of writing an interactive fiction thing, this is probably best. I can think of a few things where being gay has made some rather subtle differences for me in ways that are not related to homophobia. These would generally also apply in cases where one partner is bi/pan, too. So I’d offer some of these…

• Love triangles can get more complicated. For example, there one time when the guy I had a crush on told me that my previous crush was cute… I felt so confused

• My boyfriend and I are attracted to the same gender. (Hi, boyfriend! ) So he and I can talk about cute guys, and be into the same characters and generally banter and bond over this stuff in ways that wouldn’t happen when both partners are hetero.

• Jealousy and attraction can get mixed up in weird ways. I suppose this could happen with heterosexuals, but I think I’m more likely to get into a situation where I’m simultaneously attracted to a guy but also feel jealousy… sort of “do I want to be with him or do I want to be him? ”

• Being attracted to my own gender can provide a different metric for judging oneself. This can be both useful and disappointing, depending But it does mean that rather than being like “what do boys like in a girl?” or “what do girls like in a boy?” I can ask “what do boys like in a boy?” and at least be able to answer myself with personal experience albeit not universal.

I mean, these probably wouldn’t be relevant to most stories; you very much can write a gay romance the same way you’d write a hetero one. I just think it’s a bit of my point of view that’s worth sharing

[Ozymandias]

For context, modern world, late teens, no sex (or at least fade to black/up to interpretation)

Great replies so far, thanks guys!

[E_RedMark]

@BoisterousBumblebee

I wouldn’t that there is huuuuge difference between the two. Perhaps sex would be different but thats only biologically speaking, but as for romance?
I wouldn’t say so. I’d court a woman the same as a man would. Free from outdated and chauvinistic constraints In an ideal society.

pretty much this , I write my lesbian the same way I write my hetero characters .
The only ‘difference’ is personality of said character and that has nothing to do with orientation .

[malinryden]

I think this will be easier to answer if the question is changed to ‘how to write straight romance’ and try to figure out what would make romance explicitly straight.

Hint: There’s not really much difference. People are people, and unless you want a game that deals with homophobia/homophobic reactions of society (please don’t), then there will be the same feelings, doubt, nervousness and excitement involved.

[Ozymandias]

I’m not particularly good at writing romance as is, I’ve been in a solid relationship since my early teens, so I’ve only really got one perspective on it

[E_RedMark]

lol I don’t think you gotta date lot of peoples to be good at writing a romance . I got lot of sucky relationship , yet most of my romance that I write about…are mushy like hell

if you have been in a solid relationship , than if anything…you got a good grasp of what make it stick . Some peoples love the beginning when its all shy and blushing stuff . But rarely anyone write about the up and down , the normality and boringness of everyday relationship .

I don’t think there is a sure path to romance , or an experience to it . Since in real life , not everyone take the same path…no relationship or love story start the same or end the same .

[MockTurtle]

@Ozymandias

For context, modern world, late teens, no sex

Well, at that age I think I would ask if their family knows and if they’re cool with that. And even then, I would assume that would be the case in a CoG.

Other than that I don’t think you need to make huge differences.

[TSSL]

@ParrotWatcher

Other than that, and the actual physical acts of sex, @TSSL made a list of other differences he had noticed in another thread recently:

Thanks I don’t have much more to add that wasn’t already said there, but I would suggest looking through the same sex romances thread in general, since the discussion there is all quite directly relevant to your questions (not just my post )

For the context you’re talking about writing in, anyway, I’d most likely advise making things not too different.