Same sex romances

[TSSL]

I would also echo the sentiment “let people of whatever gender combination choose the relationship dynamics themselves.” Don’t force a role. Unless the RO in question really would be only up for one particular dynamic with anyone

@obieblu

If you really want to try this, watch a few gay romance movies that don’t default to the stereotypical “ones the guy/one’s the girl” scenario. I can suggest a few if you want.

I’d like to know what these recommendations are

@ParrotWatcher

Generally, I feel that the only real differences between a gay and a straight romance would be in the act of sex itself and in how the world views their relationship (including how the characters view it themselves).

For the sake of writing an interactive fiction thing, this is probably best. I can think of a few things where being gay has made some rather subtle differences for me in ways that are not related to homophobia. These would generally also apply in cases where one partner is bi/pan, too. So I’d offer some of these…

• Love triangles can get more complicated. For example, there one time when the guy I had a crush on told me that my previous crush was cute… I felt so confused

• My boyfriend and I are attracted to the same gender. (Hi, boyfriend! ) So he and I can talk about cute guys, and be into the same characters and generally banter and bond over this stuff in ways that wouldn’t happen when both partners are hetero.

• Jealousy and attraction can get mixed up in weird ways. I suppose this could happen with heterosexuals, but I think I’m more likely to get into a situation where I’m simultaneously attracted to a guy but also feel jealousy… sort of “do I want to be with him or do I want to be him? ”

• Being attracted to my own gender can provide a different metric for judging oneself. This can be both useful and disappointing, depending But it does mean that rather than being like “what do boys like in a girl?” or “what do girls like in a boy?” I can ask “what do boys like in a boy?” and at least be able to answer myself with personal experience albeit not universal.

I mean, these probably wouldn’t be relevant to most stories; you very much can write a gay romance the same way you’d write a hetero one. I just think it’s a bit of my point of view that’s worth sharing

@FelxBelt

I mean Men tend to focus on physical attraction. That’s something I noticed whenever my cis guy friends and I are remark first (out of everything) whenever we talk about our crushes or our S.O’s. Then it goes to the personality and other characteristics of the person.

My cis women friends tend to go straight about the emotional connection they have with their crushes/ SO’s. Then it usually goes down to physical traits.

I don’t know, I’ve definitely known some women to get over some men in a pretty physical manner. And some who really don’t at all. But I do wonder how much of this is training

(For myself, I’ve had both crushes that were mostly appearance-based and ones that were mostly personality-based, plus most of them being kind of in between. The former could feel pretty shallow and annoying, but hormones won’t really care about that )

@rinari

Here’s my somewhat related question: if an NPC is canonically gay, should an MC of the opposite gender be able to flirt with them and then be rejected,

My ideal would be, it depends whether the MC would have any way to know the NPC’s orientation. If they’ve known the character for a while or it seems likely to have come up at any point, then no, really shouldn’t be there. Otherwise, I’d think it’d make sense.