Revamped Entire Start and Many Scenes/Choices in Unfinished Oz Game


#1

I am interested in getting feed-back on the changes I have made to my unfinished Oz game. I still cannot get the stats screen to work, but I have placed the variables within it and know where the file is.

There are typographical errors, but I just wanted to show everybody the new start to the game with its many new scenes and new choices. I think I have addressed some concerns that others had previously.

By the way, the L. Frank Baum concepts are in public domain so as long as someone does not copy an Oz film or modern Oz book too closely, one can base one’s Oz project on the classic series by Mr. Baum.

Here is the new start with new scenes and choices: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/2uih8swm2rtscp2/mygame_complete%20(3).html?dl=0

Thanks!

Ron Baxley, Jr.


#2

The fact that the first scene only gives you one real choice is a bit annoying


#3

So far so good I like the different ways you can go! Are you a Good Witch or a Bad Witch? I can’t decide! I can’t wait to play it again. Has a great story line and get imagination!


#4

I think it has a lot of potential although I am unsure if you desire a twilight zone version or a mysterious intellectual version of Oz.

My first playthrough I was really confused with what the goal was in the pub - I’m not as up on my Oz lore and cannon as others and to be blunt, if I were to get the ending I had on my first playthrough I would be upset from a finished story.

My second play-through I made it to choosing east or west but I still feel for a person not familiar with Oz lore I would have been turned off from pursuing this story far.

Your actual writing, pace, and structure are all good. I just feel that to get the appreciation your story deserves it will need to be more Oz-dense people friendly.


#5

Actually I would agree with your assessment, @Zolataya, and I’m very familiar with Baum’s works. The game was slightly baffling at first, until I realised that it was more of a maze than a narrative.

I thought the game was interesting and I liked the puzzle feeling of it (the Infocom-ness, as @Havenstone mentioned). I appreciated it rather more when the puzzles looped round rather than causing a quick game-over. Maybe some sort of warning might be in order, to let readers familiar with choicescript know that it’s closer to Infocom’s ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide’ than an interactive novella.

I also liked the tone of the narration; I thought it was reminiscent of Baum’s relatively sparse, straightforward style. Kansas flavoured, so to speak (no offence in any way meant towards any Kansans!).

Also, why are there two threads for the same game? Perhaps a mod could merge them, or close one?


#6

The two threads issue was my fault. I posted an older version people did
not like and posted a link to the new start, the revamped start of the
game, to the old thread for those folks. I did this after posting a link
with the new start, the revamped start, for those who had never seen the
first version.

I appreciate all the comments and constructive criticism.

Ron Baxley, Jr.


#7

To be honest I’d be careful with having most of your available choices on the very first choice you get to make result in game ending failure, (expecially so since it’s almost the same text for each one, you get pummeled and story ends). After that happened to me twice I was inclined to stop reading then and there. It gives you the impression that the rest of the book may be a frustrating exercise with random end game points everywhere. You’ll probably loose a lot of readers that way unfortunately.


#8

I have a nearly finished beta version of “Northwest by Northeast” in the Works in Progress folder now. Well, the link is provided to the kind gentleman’s site who helps host them. Were it not for him and his set-up, it would not have been as easy to submit my graphics for the game and have them work correctly. Thanks!