Unsure if intentional, but “Come one, honey cake” should be Come on
Our task was to get acquianted. acquainted
–of course you handled it better!" "Buuut thank you for saying this. Because, – I feel like these two should be together, since there’s nothing in between and they are said by the same person (Emily)
–Drove mommy-dear mad. “By the stars, Prisca, just look at all the stains! And what’s that in your hair?!”" Use single quotation marks ( ’ ) when quote inside quote (I just googled the right thing to say)
–There’s s tinge of something that feels surprisingly like embarrassment-- there is
–"He actually wrote diaries detailing all his travels, thouhg they are less-known-- though
–the fact that many a successfull pickpocket has preyed upon.-- I just learned that there’s no -full, only -ful
Also I think a fact that fits better, but then again I’m not sure
Not a bug, but when we talk to Lucretia at the cafe and she mentions she’s a priest, I think the segment that comes after, explaining the Lord of Knowledge, should be put waay back (think his figure at the gates of the uni), and instead explain the role/skills of a priest(ess).
In fact, I think some world building before we launch into stuff would be welcome. While we readers are aware that the gods do exist and etc, we have no idea how magic or energy or the divine words actually work (we get something when we use it to fight the snake, but it just tells us what we are doing), while the MC seems familiar with it (since when do evil spirits grow the size of a car? You tell me), the same goes for the divisions into Lower/Middle/Upper Cities, we know they are like that, but why, since when, is it the same everywhere else? Just my two cents actually, dont worry too much about me
I’d like the option to agree to go with Emily because we like her/want to protect her
I’ve stopped at the Under Construction mark because I really need to sleep, but if you are still taking feedback for the parts after it, I’ll be eager to give (as well as finish the demo). As the game gets longer, though, would you mind adding the save plugin? There are so many interactions I’d like to see without redoing the entire book, thanks!