Phoenix Rising | (updated - 09/15/23) (WIP) | Imperial Chinese Harem Political Intrigue

Any chinese or korean kingdom settings, i like :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Altough there’s nothing much i can say for now but is the first stat check have the same outcome and only for a warning? If i choose the second option (i forgot what the mc said) will the gore option be disabled? And if i tried the first option, the gore option is enabled? Is that correct? At first,i thought i can make the mc can’t speak lol

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DEMO UPDATED! Check the main post for the link!

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I really like it so far! There are just 2 things. Firstly, the pronouns are sort of all over the place. There are multiple places where they’re the wrong ones. Secondly, I chose to not steal anything, but then after I confront the bully, I’m taken to the scene where I try to set the bully up for theft. Then we both end up getting punished

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Loving it so far but saw this little error


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As of right now the route where you don’t steal anything hasn’t been fleshed out, so in the interest of making sure you get to see lots of the work, I’ve looped it into the stealing arc. In the next update, I should have ways for you to not have to steal shit. XD

Thank you very, very much for including a screenshot! I’ll track down that error and take care of it. I’ve also been informed of several other errors, so the next update will hopefully be even more functional!

Theres also this thing where when I click on “the tense situation sent thrills” it repeats

Summary


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And finally my stats

Summary


image
image

Got an error when clicking on inventory

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I liked the drama but not so much when MC died :rofl:

typos and some continuity errors

Despite your sisters having small mountains for chests, you remain unblossomed in this area. Perhaps you haven’t eaten enough? Perhaps you are still growing. You don’t know if you hope so, or if you fear the gazes that fall upon your sisters landing on yourself.
The long dark lines of your hair cloud the bathing water, outlining your perky chest. You’ve never cut it, as to do so would be a disgrace to your ancestors and to your mother and father who gave you your body. It reminded you of your mother’s hair.

You lift your head, as the maid gathers soap into their tanned, cracked hands. Your father’s household doesn’t pay enough for the old servants like this to be able to use softeners on their skin. You try not to feel sympathy, since they are surely not showing you any.

The long dark lines of your hair cloud the bathing water. You’ve never cut it, as to do so would be a disgrace to your ancestors and to your mother and father who gave you your body. It reminded you of your mother’s hair.

Repeated passage of hair on female MC

“Su Mingzhu, can I ask you something?” You say, quietly, over the chatter of the other maids working. Su Mingzhu looks up, catching your eyes with a faint sneer.

“If it’s about that stitch, you should redo it. It’s crooked.”

“No, but… thank you.” You only thanked her because you need to keep her talking. “Did you notice anything unusual last night?”

“I did not. I was busy sleeping. Good rest is necessary if one is to work properly.” You had the odd feeling that every word she said was a pointed jab at your work ethic, and you would take it personally, except you’d heard her do the same thing in every conversation he’d been in since you arrived.

Should be she

The chance to ask Jiang Xiaosi comes when she comes to your table, to borrow a deep blue thread. You hand her the spool, and ask, “Jiang Xiaosi, do you know what happened last night?”

Her gentle face clouded, and his anxious glance skittered across the room to the table where Zhong Luli was sitting with Pe Yeng and Zhou Tian. “Yes, I- I saw your shoes this morning. It’s terrible. I can’t believe someone would do such an unsanitary thing.”

You realize he’s trying to tell you something. “I agree, it’s very upsetting. Any thoughts on who might have done it?”

Should be she

Ye Peng shared a table with Zhong Luli and Zhou Tian, and is much easier to talk to, so you ask them, next. The excuse of borrowed thread allows you to stick around, long enough to speak to the sunshiney person.

“What about you, Ye Peng? Did you see anyone get up last night?”

The maid looks up at you, blinking wide apricot eyes. “Um…” Their eyes dart to Zhong Luli, and then back to you, and whatever they find in your expression isn’t enough to keep them from shuttering their gaze down at their work. “N-no, not really.”

“I see.” You frown, showing your displeasure with this avoidance. “Can you think of anyone who would want to annoy me with such disgusting tactics?”

Another nervous back and forth between your face and Zhong Luli’s, and Ye Peng shakes her head nervously. “W-We’re all friends here. Why… Why would anyone want to make trouble like that?”

Should be their

The creaking of tables, the sound of metal against metal as the shears cut through the fabric, all rose to a crescendo around you.As you watched, Ye Peng cheerfully cut cloth, even as Shong Luli tossed little pebbles from the floor at her. How badly you wanted to slam that smug face into the table as revenge. How you wanted to show you couldn’t be touched by someone so lowly and vile.

You regret now not interrogating her when you had the chance. Perhaps you could have found the reason for her grudge.

Eventually, it gets to be too much. The simmering rage in your belly has risen too high, and you stand, forcing the stool you’d been sitting on back with a squeal. You stride towards Zhong Luli with a gentle smile on your face, hiding your ire behind a mask.

She turns away from his work, and raises her chin as if to look down on you even while sitting. The shake of her head makes the beads woven through the twin buns she wore twinkle. It was hard not to be jealous of the ribbons and long tresses still left down, as if Zhong Luli was an honorable miss and not a maid like the rest of you. “What do you want, Xie An? Go away already, I’m working.”

Typo on Zhong Luli’s name
Should be them
Continuity error as did talk with Zhong Luli and she dismissed MC
Should be her

It doesn’t take much to sneak back into the dormitory while no one is looking for you. A few moments alone to visit the lavatory was generally allowed, and you took advantage of it to dig your little stash of stolen goods out of your hiding place. The majority of the sewing kit.

You tuck these stolen bits and bobs into the small crevice you’ve made beneath Zhong Luli’s section of the shared kang-style bed. Lowering the rice-woven mat, you made certain your own little crevice was empty, your own hidden stash moved carefully to a spot beneath a tree housed in a large red cistern. With a little pep in your step at the idea of a thorough revenge upon your bully, you hurry back to work.

Continuity error as did not steal anything when searching earlier, so there’s nothing stolen before deciding to incriminate Zhong Luli

It wasn’t impossible for Zhong Luli to try and turn your accusation back on you. You think of the hidden sewing kit, knowing it wouldn’t take much to find. What were you going to do? Your mind raced to plan out your arguments should someone try to accuse you. Supervisor Ban sighs, and rubs at her forehead, before opening her eyes and casting another look around the room. “Zhong Luli is correct. Thieves cannot be allowed to remain within the Imperial Palace walls. Confess now, and I will consider mercy in your sentencing.”

Your teeth itch as you hide your smirk of triumph behind your teeth. Your plan hinges on someone else accusing Zhong Luli, so you remain quiet, awaiting the snap of your trap. It takes less than a few moments before someone spoke.

“Was it you, Zhong Luli?” Su Mingzhu demanded, earning her the gaze of everyone in the room. The accused immediately puffed up, eyes wide enough to see the whites all around Zhong Luli’s dark irises. Exhaustion had made everyone snippy, however, and so Su Mingzhu glowered right back, “You’ve picked on nearly everyone in this room. There’s no reason not to think it’s you.”

Zhong Luli’s eyes track around the room, trying to find the culprit as if they were painted in red paint.“Fess up! Who dares to be a thief in the Imperial Palace!”

“What is all this noise?!” The Dormitory Supervisor came in, her face stern and drawn. The severe cut of her black uniform accenting the severity of the situation. “What is this about a thief?”

“Supervisor Ban, some items are missing from our cubbies.” Cui Chen commented, sleepy voice alert for the first time since you’d met her. “We beg you to investigate.”

Supervisor Ban’s sharp fox-like eyes crept around the room, taking in each of your faces. You feel secure knowing you’d been cautious enough to hide any evidence. Her gaze rests upon Zhou Tian, who was practically turning red with rage. “What is missing?”

“My sewing kit.” Zhou Tian glares, “It was in a small, cloudprint bag. My sister made that for me.” The glare travels, catching each person in the room with ire.

Zhong Luli stamped her feet, crossing her arms. “Something has to be done! Thieves cannot be abided!”

The others mumble agreement with Zhong Luli’s declaration, leaving you to sort through your own feelings on the matter.

The option “I worry for a moment that my plan might not be foolproof.” loops back around when chosen, choosing it again shows the passages for it correctly

Zhong Luli is making a fuss, trying desperately to beg Supervisor Ban to change her mind. You grit your teeth, comforting yourself with the fact that, while you might die from this, at least Zhong Luli would suffer it too. You couldn’t wait to see that. It was too late for regret anyway.

I dismissed the reference to “savings” in quotes in the page before because I assumed MC had already been paid or something but if could steal that ealier then MC did not do it and thus leads to a continuity error. Also, since MC would hide it if they stole stuff then should it not remain hidden where they put it away from their space?

I looked at the code to see what the cause was but got more confused as what I got was the first reference of the “savings” and next page was the passage above, saw nothing about them fiding the money and the kit in Zhong Luli’s stuff, which doesn’t help at all in pinpointing it :upside_down_face:

my guess though, would be its the check for wealth

before going to the label FailedFramingTheft somehow, the passage for the page before was this:

“Enough!” Supervisor Ban snapped, silencing the outbreak of whispering that had started at your declaration. “$!{pc_Hon_Higher}, bring out your belongings and money. Do not hide any, or this supervisor will assume you are in fact the thief.”

“This is unjust! Supervisor Ban, this servant begs you, search everyone’s things, at least! This bias is too much!” You demand, putting aggreived tears in the corner of your eyes.

“Fine!” Supervisor Ban declares, waving ${pc_his} hand to scatter you all into pulling your things from the cubbies, dropping them into piles around the room, and glowering. Supervisor Ban searches through your collective belongings, taking yours first, and finds your ‘savings’.

Leading to skip all the wealth checks because no too broke :smiling_face_with_tear:

The indentation here might be the cause, but since there were other continuity errors and other passages witht the same wordings it might not be it:

If it helps, here’s the stats:
Constitution: 50%
Athleticism: 46%
Charisma: 55%
Education: 10%
Reasoning: 60%
Clothier: 42%
Cook: 20%
Sommelier: 20%

Bravery (BRA): 36% Cowardice (COW): 64%
Scheming (SCH): 43% Genuine (GEN): 57%
Bloodthirst (BLO): 33% Honor (HON): 67%
Chaste(CHT): 57% Hedonistic (HED): 43%

Same. My MC didn’t take anyone’s belongings and just wanted to present Zhou Luli as a “thief”. I had high Charm stat (64%), yet the scene with supervisor played twice and in the end my MC was punished as well.

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My MC :sob::sob::sob:

UPDATE! - The game has been moved to Moodyink, where there is a built in save function. This does mean you have to have a moodyink account to play it, but I figure that’s a good trade off.

Also, I’ve removed one RO (Zhu Lingling) who wasn’t working storywise, and added two more, (Xiong Ning and Kazar/Kazari/Kazhad) who fit much better!

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When trying to point out one of the bully’s victims, choosing Ye Peng or Cui Chen gives me an error.

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Well guess I’ll just never play the demo since moody breaks everytime I use it. :neutral_face:

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I did not consider the fact that moody might not work for others…

Maybe I can keep both updated? I’ll see if that’s possible.

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I cant even figure out why

It works for a while and then I save a game and boom

Everything falls apart

I added back the DashingDon link, and updated them both, that way you guys can pick which one you want to go with!

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@Niki_Christopherson
I just want to point out that it’s feels strange to see the characters frequently referring to themselves in third persons. I know this is pretty normal in many Asian languages, including Middle Chinese, but it just doesn’t work that way in English. And since this IF is written in English language, I’d suggest just use first person pronouns.

For example, instead of saying “Father, this lowly one can’t sing your praises, if he/she/they doesn’t have his/her/their tongue!”, make it “Father, I, your humble son/daughter/child (or insert name here), can’t sing your praises if I don’t have my tongue!”

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Thank you very much for this feedback! However, as this is based heavily upon the translated novels I’ve seen and read myself, I do not intend to change the third person dialogue, as it’s culturally significant to this time period and to the feel of the story I’m going for. You see, the depersonalisation that comes from the overly-humble third person talk is a way of giving deference to those who are higher in the heirarchy than yourself. The only way to mimic it in english would be to clunkily have the person constantly insult themselves and butt-kiss in a way that wouldn’t sound natural either.

I hope you can enjoy the story even with this mild strangeness, as it will definitely help you adapt to the wild world of translated Chinese Novels!

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Hello, I found this error. Sames happens if I had chosen Ye Peng. Wierdly The first one functioned.

Major choices I made was: Female MC, Tea Department, chosen to work hard. (Don’t know what you maybe also need to know.

Also, sorry if someone already send you this error.

I’m trying to make my MC lose his tounge but I don’t know how. So which stat do I have to lower to get that income?