Ouroboros: The first year in development (+small update!)
On this day, a year from now, I sat in the stark light from my monitors, eyes bloodshot and hands trembling; and I clicked the post button. I then choked my pc to death and ran away screaming, scrambling into the corner of the couch on all fours, hissing at every shadow (only one of those statements is a lie).
It was 4 am and I had been scrambling to get the last details of the demo correct, mumbling to myself and reasoning with my dog. I was so happy to be writing again, after years of piddling around with lackluster projects. I never thought Ouro would be welcomed as it was, and to be honest, the fact that it was scared the living shit out of me. After the hype settled, and I sat watching the continuous stream of support that poured my way, I kind of crumbled. There was a long and dirty road of clawing myself out of self-doubt, impostor syndrome and perfectionism. Some part of me knew it was coming, since its very on par with how I am shaped as a person (sopping wet pathetic meow meow), but after climbing many hills on my ongoing healing journey, I felt like I was prepared for it.
Writing Ouroboros went from fun little sidequest to get my mind off becoming a sturdy part of society again (exhausting), to another workload, to form of therapy, then torture and back again. My writing journal is amusing to scroll through:

Things went from bad to…

worse,

until the storm finally weakened. Every entry in my journal from this point gets progressively more hopeful, more resilient against the bad days.

:> This was around the point where I decided I wouldn’t give up, come hell or high water. The progress was slow, like bleeding stone and pulling teeth, but it was moving. By the turn of the new year I was battered and bruised, but still hopeful. And I know that this, these emotions that I went through, were way out of proportion for a hobby writing project, but with every ask that came through telling me about your MC’s budding journey in Ouro, every gushing emotion you’ve shared with me, every gleaming piece of art, every kind word; every correcting one, too, this grew to something really precious to me. I wouldn’t give it up for anything, even if it feels like I’m barely keeping my head above surface in this terrifying, stormy sea of a life.
I can’t wait to see what comes next, even if the road is bumpy. All I know is that I will keep chipping away at this story with everything I got. And all I can say is that I’m so grateful for your continued support and patience, I barely have words for it. You are incredible. Thank you.
Now, enough of my bleeding heart. Get over here! I have some treats to share.
Mainly, it is the little update to the demo that I’d like to share; Idren/Ida’s 101. I did my best to finish it today, but I only had an hour or two of effective worktime (excuse: I was outside for most of the day in bloody blizzard and it knocked me on my ass more than I’d like to admit). It is cut off at the different scene transitions, which I will add after I have some time to work on them this saturday. Id’s 101 was the most complex out of all of them, so there is still plenty to explore and different outcomes to see. I hope you have fun!
To see it, go through Lena’s scene and don’t scream → accept alliance → visit archives. That will take you to the new content. CW for very emotionally charged arguments and… almost dying.
Save often. (or wait until next week as I sadly couldn’t finish everything on time for the anniversary) (I have done bare minimum playtesting, but I will fix any gamebreaking errors if there are any, immediately. There shouldn’t be any, but you never know.)
A sneakpeek of the short I also will be working on on saturday:
It is sunny on the day of $!{leith}'s funeral. It is not supposed to be sunny. It is supposed to rain on bad days, and the wind is supposed to whip dry leaves into dancing columns. Thunder is supposed to rumble in the distance, and then right near so that the even the windows rattle with trepidation. But it doesn’t. The sun lounges calmly on the perfectly still water of Riven’s lake, glittering with winking light as the serene waves lick the edge of the populated harbor. There is chatter, too, not the moaning whispers of grieving people. Not a sob to be heard, but the flutter of a laugh and a joyous embrace of lovers right in front of you.
“People have forgotten, the sacrifice we made.” Lyselin stands in full knight-hunter armor beside you, the silver gleaming in the stark light.
And some art of F!Leith that I have started:

That’s it. Know that I’m working as hard as I can (both on Ouro, and learning how to balance work around it, lmao.), even if I fall short sometimes, there ain’t no quitting. See you soon!