Old WIP (updated 5/13/2020| hiatus)

Hi, welcome reader, the newer version of this story is in another thread, NOT TOTALLY SAME: New Title, New Plot. Please feel free to check it out in this link below…

The Evil Hound I: Breaking Dawn of New Era

Thank you for reading this story, hope it still catches your attention somehow, but still I am so grateful to have you as my readers! :smiley:

THIS WIP IS CLOSED FOR GOOD HAHA

"ANNOUNCEMENT: THIS NEW VERSION IS ALREADY IN ANOTHER THREAD." :grin:


"Delete Title"

I’ve begun to work on my first game “Delete Title”. It is already finished in my drafts, but still under revising, and coding. In it, you are free to generate your MC’s physical appearance because you deserves it. :grin:

PLOT

PLOT
The world that we know is already gone… The real question is… Will you survive?
Shady laboratory runs human experimentation that intends to enhance human abilities into super human. One day, they went fail and everything goes into unforeseeable outcome.
There is an outbreak!
Everyone and even the shady industry believes that you are the only one can stop this.
The world is facing the Pre-human race extinction.
It’s either the end or the beginning of the New Era.

Game Progress

Currently it’s about (40%, Prologue + 8 Chapters) done, and I plan on updating it weekly. I intended to put all images in the demo after my artist finishes it. :smiley:

ROMANCE

ROMANCE
This story has romantic paths that you can have relationship with four fixed gender persons while there is one person depends on your choices in the beginning about what gender are you attracted?

Lucas (he) / Stephany (she) / Kyle (They)
A police officer

Jade
A spoiled brat

Vector
A Japanese Guy

George (Not Yet)
An Old Captain

Theo
Head of Virology Team

Dionerys
New Biologist of Sector G

Beware about Romance Path

======================
DON’T READ THE SECOND PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED. :smiley:

One of them is your actually the enemy. Don’t easily trust anyone in short. (THE SCENE ABOUT THIS IS NOT YET POSTED :smiley: )


You Want Give Your Feedback

I will appreciate any feed backs even it is negative or positive! :innocent:
Please, send your feed backs in my email.
Send in my gmail account: paully23luis@gmail.com
or through PM…
Suggestions and any Comments about wrong grammar and spelling is also acceptable! (Please, tell where it is exactly to fix it right away) :smiley: But if you will comment as “grammar needs alot of work”, grammar checking will be done soon :heart:

Game Genre or sub-genre
  • Science Fiction
  • Zombie Apocalypse
  • Action
Story Update Timeline

ver. 01.2.0 Demo

  • 8 Chapters + Prologue
  • Fixed Minor Problems
  • Grammar Checking 25% Chapter 1 - 6, Prologue
  • Shortened Prologue (Removed the Prologue Extension)

Hoping that you will try and give this a shot… :point_down:
To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/5801 :point_left:
Have fun! :grin: Comment down below to improve the writing skills and development. :wink:

89 Likes

In Chapter 3,when I try to look into the crate,it’s looping back to previous page after a filler page

1 Like

The grammar and general flow of the writing certainly need work. The premise does sound interesting.

11 Likes

Yeah, that’s right. I notice it, I just type a wrong letter. Instead of D, it’s C. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACK :smiley: I appreciated it. I change it soon as possible :grin:

Edit: Fixed! No looping problem now. :grin:

I just drop a pm to you about this. :grin: I just want to know more about how can I improve my story! :slight_smile: THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR FEEDBACK! :smiley: It means alot.

1 Like

I can’t progress past this point as the metal gate is locked. And choosing the 1st option leads to 4 different options to which 2 of them are grayed out.

1 Like

I liked the plot. It was also pretty neat to see my own name as a name choice. I do create ocs for these type of things but… I just couldn’t resist clicking the “Rafaela” choice.

1 Like

The story is good and interesting but I found a problem.Please fix it…

1 Like

When I get to this section, no matter if I chose Theo or Jade and move forward, the page stays forever loading.

1 Like

@PrimeTime THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACK! :grin:
I already fixed that problem on last 7days. It worked so well even before. :smile:
Check it out! If the problem persist, consult the doctor. HAHA :smile:Just kidding.

@r_isexhausted THANK YOUR FOR YOUR FEEDBACK! :grin:
I am so glad that you liked the plot. Actually, a name “Rafael” is my favorite one so, I used it in my name generator for male names and by adding ‘a’ as in Rafaela for female. It is coincidence but I am so glad that I added up your name here because it is rare and very nice name. HAHA :smile: By the way, what ‘ocs’ mean? :grin:

@S.M.Abdullah THANK YOUR FOR YOUR FEEDBACK! :grin:
I am so grateful that you found my story as good and interesting! :innocent: About that problem, It is already fixed on past 7days. I didn’t notice that the labels of that chapter is not fixed so, I am so glad that you told earlier. Obrigado! (Thank You!) :relaxed:

@Rock_Em_Sock_Em THANK YOUR FOR YOUR FEEDBACK! :grin:
HAHAHA I already saw your comment on May 13. The text written in my finish command in that time is “Chapter VII” but it is should be “Chapter VIII” and… it was the end page of the story… :smile: Don’t worry I’ll updated this story and Chapter 8 will be out soon. :grin:

@everyone Thank you for taking some time to give your feedback! :smiley: I am so happy. Anyway, the story reaches Chapter 7 and maybe in the following days, Chapter 8 will be available soon. I hope you will check this out! :smiley: I can’t wait to hear some of your thoughts and any feedback. I’ll appreciated it. :wink: “Arigato Gosaimasu.”

By the way, I can’t stop laughing that I didn’t notice that I edit my post so many times. SO, my update is here! Chapter 7 is availble now. Within the game, press Timeline page in stats and it will show the progress and updates of this game. See you late! :smiley:

2 Likes

I really liked the plot!! Were you inspired by Resident Evil series? :smiley::smiley: I really liked how the choices and stats depend upon the relationship and fate of the characters in the story! The grammar certainly needs work though. Really enjoyed the demo… You’ve left me at a cliffhanger. Looking forward to the story!!:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes::grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes::grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

1 Like

@Venusian_Scorpio THANK YOU FOR YOUR WONDERFUL FEEDBACK! :smiley:
I am glad to know that you liked and enjoyed my story! :grin: Actually, I was totally inspired by Zombie Exodus but I also inspired with Resident Evil Games, :smiley: Thank you appreciate my “Stats Based Choices System” (That’s what I call it :smiley:) I don’t know other uses of stats in unique way so, I come up with that. About the grammar, I can’t polish it quickly but soon with some help of proofread-ers. :grin: (I create my chapters with haste so, no checking but testing only.) I’m so happy that I put you at a cliffhanger. Don’t worry, I’ll publish Chapter 8 soon. :grin:

@Rock_Em_Sock_Em THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACK! :smiley:
I am glad that you liked some stories of authors in this forum but I am afraid that you posted a picture in wrong thread :grin: I don’t remember that line in my chapter :smile: but still I am glad that you patronize this forum’s stories.

2 Likes

If it’s possible, can you provide the descriptions of the ROs in the story?:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

2 Likes

CHAPTER 8 IS NOW AVAILABLE!

How are you, everyone? I’d like to tell you a good day and have a wonderful days to come. Anyway, I introduce to you the Chapter 8.

Please, check it out and unravel the truth behind this mess or let say THE OUTBREAK! :grin:
You will meet a new strange character here!
Who is it? Maybe this character can enlighten our mind about this mess?
Or maybe this person can help us to get out of here and also for your infected friends?
Let’s get this over… Play and read now! :smile:

By the way, Chapter 8 extension and Chapter 9 will be added soon! :heavy_heart_exclamation:

As much as possible STAY AT HOME and also, do proper hygiene regularly.
Stay healthy and strong! Keep your hope and your faith high! :heart:

4 Likes

I think it’d be better if the attributes are in the main stats page instead of Character Profile, don’t you think how the character looks is useless when compared to the stats?!?
It’ll be easier to access the stats instead of going through options in stars to check on those Attributes and Relationships tabs…

2 Likes

I just started this and I realized that
Felling in love
Fell in love
It’s Falling in love and fall in love
lol felling in love is just simply wrong, it kinda sounds like yelling in love :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::kissing_heart::smirk_cat:


Wasn’t MC talking 'bout what they wants to do after all this, and fell in love is like talking in past tense…

This is a grammatical error too…
You sounds different
You sound different

1 Like

Thank You For Your Helpful Feedback! :smile:
HAHA my bad. I know , but I thought that I already updated my Choicescript_Stats. :grin: About that, I’ll try my best to fix the grammar of my story :smiley: but I am focusing to finish the story before to fix it but… :nerd_face: another but, if there is a comment about it then, I’ll fix it right away :grin: So, I am glad that you notify me about it. :cowboy_hat_face:
#StaySafeAtHome

Lol you’re like overly cheerful :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::kissing_heart::roll_eyes:
like a kid on sugar high…
I don’t mean this in a bad way,
btw lol it’d a war until this is finished…
This story is good so far, but this needs LOTS and lots of proofreading, way too many grammatical errors…
But the story is weirdly good, G’Luck working on this
and lol stay away from people and be safe…
:smirk::smirk_cat::smile_cat:

1 Like

MC pulling out the gun, aiming and the person on left speaking is repeated…

Sorry lol I guess today I’m way too focused on your work…

1 Like

HAHAHA I should be grateful then.
By the way, they exchange their spots… the big one (right) and slim one (left) = slim (r) big (l). It is my way to confuse the reader. :grin: I hope it makes sense at all.