[Non-Interactive] Story Draft - Opinions Wanted

Hello all.

In an effort to brighten my mood and expand my horizons, I’ve taken a stab at something pretty different to what I usually write.

Before I tried my hand at ChoiceScript I wrote stories in book form. I’ve returned to that format for this draft, but it’s possible it could be at some stage re-imagined as a game. For now, however, it is purely non-interactive. I feel that there are plenty of people on here with great critical and constructive mindsets, so I’m submitting my work to you, in the hopes that you’ll tell me if I am any good at this style of work.

In just a couple of hours last night I hammered out what could be described as the prologue, or [short] first chapter. I’ve yet to think of a name for it (or even the main character), but I’m sure with time they will come along.

So without further discussion, here is a brief description and the link to the Word .docx file:

It’s your typical high school setting, and like some other stories set in high school, this one comes with a twist.

What if you woke up one morning, and just got this strange feeling, that something about your life felt wrong? That everything you’ve experienced to this date was just part of a the backstory in a narrative, and today was the first chapter of a novel that details the events of your life? How would you react? What would you do?

These and more are the questions that plague Percy (name subject to change).


So please, have a read, and tell me what you think. Do I write this style convincingly? Does the concept of the story intrigue you? What do you think of the characters in the admittedly short opening?

Thanks, I await your response.

I think it’s pretty interesting though, im not fully sure where it’s heading, but I think that’s always a good thing. It’s very different. Im sure it could be converted into an unique CS story.

Sounds pretty cool, but it might be better from a third person perspective, if it were a choice game. And if it was a CS game, you would be able to choose your name, right? Still, it’s a good idea.