New Hosted Game! Nuclear Powered Toaster by Matt Simpson

the story writing is quite good, you might want to give a try :slight_smile:

this story is complete, for my opinion … but it leave room for a sequel we save the day, but a certain alluring villainess may or may not get away … for my playthrough i let her escape, and she contact me …trying to make me a turn coat but otherwise it is still a good ending …

That was the open beta test though , i am not sure whether there is any more changes … i bought it and re-play it now :wink:

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Okay I am calm now so i can give my opinion without being rude. It was the worst experience I have with a hosted ever in a demo. .
It is childish, it forces absolutely everything name hair color haircut name taste if you are a girl strting directly calling you fat and describe you in a sexist fashion humor is sme level a kid saying poo. However is not bad written. it is this have no interactive focus and i don’t see the fun to kids fart jokes

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@poison_mara I had a quick look at the demo this afternoon and couldn’t find anything sexist in what I saw at least. Maybe something has been lost in the translation? All it said was you weren’t skinny because the talent you have means you chew through calories quickly and it would be unhealthy to be on the light side when starting a mission as you would end up underweight easily. (Male or female.)

The humour does tend towards the crass side, but everyone’s tastes are different which makes humour with a wide appeal much harder to write. (I can say that having being part of a game that used parody type humour.)

I’m actually going to fall on the opposite side of what the reviews in the app store are currently saying. I actually appreciate set characters at times and can see why you’ve done it. It allows for a more character driven storyline as you know exactly who the preset characters start out with and can build story options around it (for example the mediocre psychic abilities and previous training hx) rather than having an open blank slate character sheet which makes that far harder to do. (Place for both IMO :slight_smile: )

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Could it be translation but how i was treated in some girl camp scenes is sexist to me I hate poo and fart jokes I always do and the protagonist is so defined that i don’t see the point to play something I have no say except choose how. I don’t care how if Why and Who I am is preset Hell i can’t choose the name or age or hair style or xharacter orientation

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Fair enough, doesn’t sound like this game is for you :slight_smile:

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Firstly, on the subject of sequels, I will repost my thoughts from the WIP thread.

Heh, what is to be done with it remains to be seen. NPT is certainly designed to be part of a series. An indefinite one, potentially. At this point there’s three options.

  1. It doesn’t sell particularly well. It was a big personal win just to write a story I have tried, in a dizzying variety of formats ranging from webcomics to video games to conventional novels, to create for well over a decade. If one is all I get, I’m OK. So if it poops the bed from an economic standpoint, the series is probably dead. Or at least comatose.

  2. It sells decent. If the sales are solid but unremarkable, I will likely wait until after The Parenting Simulator is released and see how it does. To the victor goes the first spot for a sequel.

  3. The populace proves that they have more money than taste and NPT is a hit. Parenting is too far in to bail on now, but if Toaster works out really well, I will move on to NPT 2: The Hoard as my next project instead of Parenting 2 or TriviArena. I might even do a short prequel set between the Clysms called A Sterling Reputation to tie it all together as well.

To add to that, the advantage of having lived with a story for thirteen years is that ideas for continuation are not a problem. The Salian arc would be three (cliche, I know, but it’s hard to avoid the simplicity of the number). The Hoard would take things to a gigantic hidden storehouse of pre-Clysm technology that also serves as a colony for the workers and squatters therein, and deal with a struggle for power by different factions using figureheads. You would be able to spend a lot more time choosing your side, instead of just at the end. The third one would finally take you to space for a large-scale conflict.

After that I define the arcs by their antagonists, and have at least two more big bads sketched out already (though each of those might be as short as a single story). Possibly three if I decide to allow for time travel.

As for the negative reviews, some are valid and some are not. I will echo what literally dozens of authors here have said in some variation or another over the years: the main thing eliciting the negative reviews is something stated upfront in the description, so it begs the question why people download it anyhow and get mad when they could just avoid it entirely. There is no secret about having preset protagonists. And I anticipated some blowback for it even though it means the people buying this story ironically seem to have trouble reading, given that their premade identities are revealed in the front page description. The Parenting Simulator has a custom MC for this very reason (well, and because it made more sense in that context since you won’t interact with MCs as NPCs in other playthroughs like here)

Now, people who don’t like my sense of humor (or lack thereof), who find the world empty and the characters flat, those are valid opinions and while I hope they’re not they are not the majority, it at least gives me food for thought going forward.

In short, hustlertwo used Wall of Text! It’s not very effective…

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I gotcha. Was not savvy enough to figure that out. This probably won’t be a surprise to anyone who saw my early posts in Ultimate Noob Coding.

I know it is in the description however i did it a opportunity to like it or not. If I at least have a say In personality and my character sexuality could be a high improvement same have a say In personality and what I think about what is happening. Maybe it changes in the entire game . But i hardly doubt any character would have a personality beyond fart jokes and child humor.

I hope your game sell well and I let you a five star review at least as support. I hope you let more room to create a character in the sequel

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The whole game takes place over less than 48 hours and offers pretty much zero opportunity to be alone with anyone, so sexuality would be a total non-issue. Still, I really appreciate your support, and honestly if you didn’t like the demo I would recommend you save your money, because there’s not a major tonal shift later in the story or anything. What you see is what you get.

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I had just met Latasha and Fiorella?? I love both of them already, i remember faintly something else about Latasha that i like when i read your story last time … so i will continue paying attention about her :slight_smile:

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Just did a few playthroughs (two as Alexi and two more as Fiorella), and honestly, I loved it. I loved the humour. I can see how some might condemn it, but the game gave me a lot of chuckles throughout. I took a peek a some of the reviews, and some of them seem to be criticizing it for being not serious enough… honestly, how do they expect a game that has comedy as it’s primary aspect to be serious? It’s meant to be funny and not taken too seriously.

The pre-made character complaints are fair enough, however I don’t personally have any issues with it, because I actually liked both of the lead characters. This one is (understandably) not everyone’s cup of tea but it’s a five-star game for me. Any story that can make me laugh and lets me have an adventure along the way is worth it. Good work, @hustlertwo, I’m sincerely hoping for a sequel!

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@hustlertwo
I recieved a significant amount of negative reviews for The Magician’s Burden because of the mostly “slice of life” plot, despite it explicitly being stated in the description that it was a slice of life game. I also got some bad reviews because it was an underdog story, not a power fantasy. Obviously people are free to give reviews however they’d like, but when it comes down to it, certain things aren’t necessarily bad, they just might not be what a certain reader is looking for.

So when you get a lot of negative reviews for the pre-set MCs despite that being stated upfront, it’s very painful but the most you can really do is give your piece and then try to let those reviews roll off your back. Or you’ll get a cerebral hemorrhage like me. :slight_smile:

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Must admit, this is worrying me a bit for Oedipus. I’ve got it stated in the description that’s who the story is about, but if it gets a similar reception to yours it seems people get mad and write negative comments because it isn’t something they want to play, instead of avoiding after reading the description and deciding that’s not for them :pensive:

I think funny choice stories seem to be hard to write for COG’s audience for some reason and they get a lot of negativity when people don’t get the humour or it doesn’t appeal to them. Humour is so subjective, what one person thinks is hilarious, another won’t find at all funny. It makes it really hard. I don’t think I’d try to write another humour based game in choicescript again and I can’t think of any mostly humour based choicescript games that have done really well so far. (But hopefully yours will break that rule.)

You might have done that, but there are other people who have left reviews that basically sum up to “I won’t play a preset character 1*” so people are voting on what they want in the stores with their reviews I think. (Which they’re free to do, but kind of disheartening for the author.)

We got reviews like that for starship adventures. One even said “Horrible. Not for someone wanting a serious game 1*”. We got others from people who thought we were serious (and got quite upset which I can see why if you were taking it seriously, instead of seeing it as a way to highlight the obsurdities of early scifi) when it was stated in multiple places it was a parody and the end game breaks those tropes we were making fun of anyway.

I agree with everything @Samuel_H_Young said :slight_smile:

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I have to state again I criticized it Because I don’t like it But I know what I was going to read lol. If someone didn’t know after read the highlight text That person is the one to blame. @Samuel_H_Young You already know how I criticize games lol But I will never do that public in the apps market it is harmful for the games I love. I have being raised under principle of ruthless sincerity as way to improve.

I recognize that the text is well written it reminds me to the absurd British humon during Victorian times until the fart and pee jokes That I hate. But i see talent there almost like Space quest games Sierra humor there for next instalments.
.So even if I don’t like absolutely nothing in demo I see a big potential as writer so I encourage @hustlertwo keep writing.

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@soprano It sounds like you’re exactly who I wrote this for: someone who wants a little irreverence and is willing to trade customization for MCs with more depth than a blank slate can provide. There’s a reason very few MCs are actually anyone’s favorite character from these stories, after all. Even going back to mute protags in JRPGs, you find less people who are huge fans of, say, Crono, than Magus, Frog or Lucca. I know self-insertion is a powerful tool for story immersion, and I’m using it myself in my sophomore effort. But there has to be a little room for an alternative approach, right?

@Jacic You are right that a lot of the big stories on both labels either have comedy as only a side bit, or play it straight pretty much the whole time. That’s just too bad, though. I’m mercenary enough in my outlook to compromise a lot of what I do in exchange for increased success, visibility and moolah. But if I try to go serious I’ll bore myself right out of the business. It’s just not in my nature. Any reviews who decry my occasionally juvenile humor, I accept that. I might even tone it down in the future (although you can’t do a story about parenting without some diaper jokes, that’s just not cricket). But if they want more serious they can get used to getting mad when they see my name on the story. Not an option.

I would anticipate Oedipus getting some serious heat. I’m sorry, man. It’s a tale as old as this place from what I’ve seen. For some people different is just bad automatically.

@Samuel_H_Young You were specifically one of the ones I thought about when mentioning about reviews. I think your stuff has had a habit of getting hit hard for being a bit off the beaten path for CYOA. I can’t even imagine how schizo the Bovine reviews will be. Like you said, hard as it is it’s just necessary to let it roll off your back or you go crazy.

@poison_mara I appreciate that even though NPT wasn’t a hit for you, you’re willing to give me another chance. Hopefully The Parenting Simulator proves more to your liking!

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Although I haven’t been able to read the published version yet, my reaction when I beta tested was that of @soprano . I thought it was super funny, and moved along at a nice clip.

It is beyond irritating that people would post reviews complaining of preset main characters when it’s right. in. the. description.

It’s like giving Froot Loops a bad review because “the loops are fruity and I like chocolate instead.”

EDITED TO ADD:

And yeah I share @hustlertwo 's concerns about authors getting punished for trying new things. We should always encourage innovation. I mean, how many CoGs/HGs are legitimately funny? I have a hard time thinking of too many. Choice of a StarShip Captain is definitely one for me. Although there are tons of compelling “serious” stories, many of them lean a bit toward the “dry” side.

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I anticipate getting beat over the head for Winter of the Bovine, but ah well.

Oh, oh, oh! The Main Character in Mass Mother Murderer is super defined and is almost as popular as three ROs combined. So there is hope for authors writing pre-set (or at least significantly defined) main characters.

Btw, I’m not trying to hijack your thread, I’m just empathizing with you. :slight_smile:

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Lol and i have said you same I said @hustlertwo lol @Samuel_H_Young I like you but not the game itself. And that’s not bad.

I really think nowadays the political correctness has brought one bad think (it has advantage in many other stuff) Is the fear of say something is not your like and why in a political manner and trying to see why and trying to help authors. This game is bad. ? No I think is well written is only not what i like and what i want to play. Give it a bad note like a 1 in Apple store is literally by assholes. Due game is not objectively bad It has no grammatical mistakes has no bugs and is well structured so a 3 is like logical . But people in app stores is nonsense and entitled. Like Protagonist has short hair zero stars. and weird stuff it only harms author and companies revenues.

I prefer came here to criticize between friends and without damage the revenue.

I hae to check the parental game. But due I hate babies with all my life in games and I don’t like babies in real life either :wink:

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I am waiting for the collaboration between Samuel and Matt where you play a Mantra-using, nuclear powered mass murdering bovine-cyborg that hunts down enemies of The Farm ™ and punishes villains who are cruel to animals by making them suffer in the exact same way, or turning them into food for the plants instead.

Disclaimer: Insanity > 44 in the above post (if you get that reference, Deadpool approves!).

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Deadpool does indeed approve. Riding that unicorn off into space.

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