Mind Blind (04/30 Demo Update. A Story Where You Are NOT The Chosen One!)

It doesn’t seem like you’re in the minority if the walking path is your favorite. It seems like the metro route is in the minority when it comes in popularity. Metro is the weakest but still pretty good.

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Hi @wildelight just letting you know in case you’re unaware, you can’t publish your game with quotes and song lyrics that are under copyright. (Like the sounds of silence quote on the chapter pages.)

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Thanks, I’m aware! I’m currently using songs as placeholders in the alpha since they aligned best with the plot and were easy for me to pull and find. I plan on changing the quotes to lines from long-dead poets and from Alice and Wonderland (book not movie) for one of the route. All permanent quotes will come from public domain👍

I thought the song lyrics would be ok for now since Mind Blind isn’t monetized in any way, but I can change it sooner rather than later if it’s problematic!

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I absolutely love the update. :smile:Kenna is going down for that.If not too spoilery,could you give the general tone of each RO please.(angsty,fluffy,etc)

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All romances have their fluffy moments as well as angst, and how heavily the tone of each relationship feels depends primarily on Button’s outlook and reactions.

I will say that K never stops being full of surprises, though.

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There’s so much snark in the options I love it

This update was so fun though, the stayin alive disco tag joke (is the Tell Me Who You Are line in the stats screen a spice girls pun or do I kept reading it to the tune of Wannabe for no reason), meeting glitch (whom I love) and subsequently rosy (who kicked down my defences along with glitch’s chair leg. sorry glitch I only love one angry hardass now).

Feels like I should give more helpful feedback so uh, I liked the flashback to how we met Sally. Everyone so far has been immediately interesting if not likeable as characters and I can’t wait to get to know them better. You write people really well. I don’t feel like the update was an info dump either, actually I found it easy to follow along and understand. Nox’s profile sheet was also cool! Made the game feel more immersive.

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Fantastic update. Glitch is now my bff. I love the internal monologue. I feel like the information was actually delivered in a very natural way. The internal running commentary throughout the explanations really helped keep things fun and interesting. I never once felt bored by any kind of info dump.

My only complaint is just a simple sentence that was awkwardly worded. The copy editor in me stumbled a bit and it took me out of the narrative trying to decipher.

Summary

The flow could be easily fixed just by switching the clauses around like “ The three silver stars marking his years at Aeon, which should have been pinned to his collar, have been repurposed as piercings along his upper right ear. ”

Otherwise, nothing but praise and I want to be friends because you are hilarious.

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You just fixed a sentence that I rewrote five times trying to make less awkward, so in my mind we are friends.

Oh, it’s 110% a Spice Girl pun. Funnily enough, I wrote the stayin’ alive joke before I understood the punchline. I compared Button to a disco ball, then quoted the song and didn’t understand why I thought this was funny until I googled the song and realized that yes, the genre is also disco.

I’m glad the profile sheet was immersive rather than cheesy, which I was worried about. Sally’s flashback was a last minute addition, because it originally took several screens of exposition to explain things. I’m glad the flashback is enjoyable!

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Eeee update!

Kim’s such a dick, I love it. I especially love the opportunity for the MC’s internal narration to be increasingly exasperated flavours of “are you TRYING to make my life more difficult?” Hardliners are so much fun.

I’ve known Sally for all of three paragraphs or so, but between seeing her in the present and getting to see our first meeting, my morbid Very Tired MC has started the “protect Sally at all costs” club.

And the ending gave me feelings. Up until then, we’ve known Something Bad happened that affected the MC’s relationship with their parents, but their first appearance is in a childhood flashback where they’re loving and supportive? Just stab me in the heart next time. It’ll be faster.

On that note, placing the cut where you did was sadistically perfect. All of the dialogue options are such painful opinions for a young child to have of themselves, and then… to be continued! Emotion interruptus!

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There was a flashback?I had no flashback.Is it through a specific choice?Do I just have a horrible memory? :sweat_smile:

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Yay! And for whatever it’s worth, I do have copy editing background and am always glad to help with disobedient sentences.

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If you take K’s path on the way to Aeon in chapter 1, you don’t get the flashback. (Yet)

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Ohhh,ok.Thank you.

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Getting some eternal loading screens, eeeee D:

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Mwahaha.

Have I mentioned how stunning your lekku look in that photo? (Good editors are worth their weight in gold, so beware because I may take you up on that offer.)

When is the loading screen happening? It could be an image problem, which I thought I’d squashed by reducing png size. (I’m praying that it’s an issue on Dashingdon’s side right now, since I just tried to access the site and it’s loading super slowly.)

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Loading screens happening reaching chapter 2, or trying to access stats. D: aaaaaaa save meeee i just wanna plaaay ;^;

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I have no idea! I just speed tapped through chapter 1 to see if the game stalled but it’s working fine on my phone. I’m so sorry :worried: If anyone else is running into this problem, please let me know.

I’ll update a version of Chapter 2 without the cover pictures when I get back home, to see if that helps resolve things.

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Ahhh! Thank you! She’s my baby. My favorite, longest running rpg character, and my muse. I’ve drawn more pictures of her than anyone, but that one is my favorite.

Good. Please do. I’ve been out of work since quarantine and bored senseless.

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Mkah, I managed to get through it! Yay!

SO!

I am already flirting with everyone.

I am already too cool for school blase this is life get with it jaded ms thang and having fun, yes, yes I am, Ellery has no shame.

No wedding in Bali, PSH, he’s missing out then, nobody can resist this genius.

But I’m really loving that you’re making MC capable in their own right. So many games make MC unique special snowflake for ‘reasons’ then have them incapable otherwise and it’s so frustrating. Of course MC would adapt given the situ, and turn it into their own weapon- embarrass/confuse/gross people out of their miiiinds then grab em.

I’m actually reminded of the mind control mechanics from Christopher Paolini’s Eragon (the books not the awful movie) where essentially only those with magical training can enter other minds, but anyone can block people if they know what to do- and farmer dude Roran can block everyone from his head by just focusing on the songs his wife sings, humming them over and over.

Ah, this is so cool, I’m having such fun, let’s replay again. XD

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Got a bug:

line 280: Can’t fairAdd to non-percentile value: 105

Anyone except the mc, really if the mc could do that he could have a life and nice things of his own and he wouldn’t have to life like he was 10 years old forever. :unamused:
Given how easy the mc is to control and the fact that they’re likely legally incapable as a result of that they probably couldn’t even meaningfully consent to sex anyway. :unamused:

Well if the mc cannot legally consent to or perform most other adult functions, obtaining a driver’s license, managing a bank account, etc, they would also be (legally) unable to ever consent to sex or marriage.

I don’t think that’s how it works for the mc here, any sufficiently powerful and determined Ment can just possess the mc and make them do or think what they want, no defence possible.

Until the first serious incident, which given how many Ment punks seem hell bent on taking the mc down would inevitably happen sooner, rather than later. After that they’d be lucky if all the judge did was take the license away again and slap them with a life long driving ban, assuming they survive of course. :unamused:

If they can only drive as a “student” driver with a Ment guardian such as Nick or their father riding in the passenger seat that would defeat the whole purpose of driving, at least for my mc, in the first place as it wouldn’t give him any greater independence.

It’s all theoretical anyway as to drive would require both a license and access to a vehicle, even if the mc manages to get the license somehow they’d still need the resources to actually obtain a vehicle.

It’s also been established the mc hasn’t really been allowed or been able to venture much beyond Chigago on his own as of yet…which does limit the utility of having a personal vehicle, though being able to drive, as is obvious from the Kent route would have gotten the mc to their job on time without getting all gross and sweaty too. Assuming no Ment punk would have commanded the mc to do a bit of vehicular manslaughter for shits and giggles of course.

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