Howdy! Hope all is well with you!
In my current WIP Wonderland Noir I’m working on an investigation/mystery sequence, but I’m struggling with how to properly pace and plot it so that it remains engaging to the reader. I’ll explain the details of the situation and the information I want to convey, and hopefully some people far smarter than I am can give me some help! Plot spoilers for Wonderland Noir follow.
Backstory, names changed: As kids, Lauren and Charles were inseparable. They spent their youth in imagination, fighting make believe beasts and ignoring their homework. They had a special place, just for them. A little forested island, that they would row to regularly. Lauren was also inclined toward music, and had dreams of becoming a famous musician. Charles was really supportive- he loved her singing voice-, but Lauren doubted her capabilities. To that end the pair would frequently sneak into the nearby Jazz Motel, famous for its jazz theming and packed shows, and talk to the owner (who was always happy to listen in those days) about how they’d play there when they grew up. There may have also been a budding love between the two, though neither of them were willing to admit it.
Their friendship carried on far into young adulthood, and would’ve blossomed into something far stronger if not for a sudden diagnosis. Beneath the lake they rowed atop, you see, there was a malignant beast. This beast seemed radiation, and poor Charles (who always seemed to tip the canoe) got the worst of it. On Valentine’s Day, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Lauren was despondent. To see what could’ve been the love of her life, withering in front of her was too much to bear. Charles took it as well as he could. He was always the optimistic type. The days went on.
It wasn’t long before he died. But before he did, he requested that Lauren and him take a visit to their special island, one last time. She, of course, complied. He tried to row as he always had done, but was too weak. She had to, for the first time. And when they arrived, they saw Wonderland. Just as they imagined it. And when they walked into Wonderland, Charles found that he could stand up straight again. He didn’t feel the mass inside of him anymore. And so they sang and danced and played together, and the sun shined happily upon them. But Wonderland is capricious, and it soon closed its doors. Charles was on one side, and Lauren the other. Separated, for once and for all.
Filled with mixed emotions, Lauren went to the motel they had spent so much time together in. She regretted letting him go. Not telling him how she felt. How she didn’t pursue her dreams, and he never got to see her sing. Charles didn’t want her to feel this way, but you know how you can put pressure on yourself. She couldn’t take it. She took her mother’s pills and she overdosed in the room. She’d join him, in Wonderland.
And as she died, Lauren awoke powers within her that she never knew she had. She was an Awakened, you see, a powerful psychic. And in the throes of death she imagined her perfect world with Charles, and these thoughts leaked into reality. They spread through the motel, creating a waking dream. All was restored to its glory, how she imagined it. The motel manager was young again, and the motel itself was clean. Her and Charles were adults, happily in love, and she pursued a career in music that allowed her to play regular shows in the motel. But her control was imperfect, and as the drugs entered her body this dream became muddled. The song she imagined began to play, looping in her head. And such dreams are not meant to be eternal.
Where the MC comes in: The MC is sent to the motel to investigate the constant music that plays over everything, even when the radio is turned off. They unwittingly enter the physical manifestation of her dreamscape. They meet the manager and the couple, happily in love. There’s also an agent, sent by the city to investigate. He’s figuring it out around the same time the MC is.
Potential structure: Over the course of a few days (three or so), the MC is given a series of options to visit the lake (which in her mindscape is directly adjacent to the motel), speak to the couple, the motel manager, or the agent. As the days go on, the degradation of the mindscape becomes increasingly noticeable. The manager grows older, the agent grows more frantic, it begins to rain at the lake, and the music is periodically interrupted by a static burst (as in the real world the paramedics attempt to revive her.The climax would be something like either helping her get to Wonderland or simply ending the threat she’s causing.
Naturally I’d prefer not to reveal the nature of the mindscape immediately, as that is an integral part of the investigation. But I’m really struggling with how to make the investigative structure interesting. Doing the three days/pick two activities for the day feels so artificial, and I’m struggling with how to make it interesting. Can anyone offer advice?
PS: if you’ve read this far, I’ll put you in the story as thanks.
now.
. Which I get!
