I really enjoyed this demo! It is really well written, and all the characters feel well-drawn. All three LIs are likable, and they don’t blend together. I’m also into the broader story, and curious to see where it goes. I am very much looking forward to playing the full game when it comes out.
I have a mix of substantive feedback, and typos/code errors I found. I’m not sure if you are interested in the latter, since @Mary_Duffy is going to be editing it, but I’m including them just in case.
Substantive Feedback
I agree with some of the above feedback that it feels like the game somewhat tries to push you into being with Charlotte over the other LIs. That’s not necessarily a problem but she certainly comes off as a default right now, over the other two.
I’m not sure how well the romance/seduction opposed stat works. I like the idea, but in practice, it felt like it inhibited roleplaying. It discourages, for example, starting out more reserved with a character, but becoming more openly attracted to them over time.
It also was not always clear to me what stats were being tested by options. The biggest example I noticed is that the option to examine and replace the hidden letter from Katharina tests Belletrist, while the option to secretly examine the letter to Charlotte in chapter 2 lets you use the dualist to cut the seal. It wasn’t clear to me what would be tested before picking the option, or why dualist was helpful for one letter but not the other.
Typos and coding issues
“I thank you for your generous offer, Lady Lady Wiśniewska.” Theodore makes an attempt at a smile; it’s more of a wince. “But I cannot stand to be away from Versailles. Much as it pains me, my heart is buried here.”
“Madame {last_name}.” Their smile is open and impeccable, one of genuine pleasure—or its perfect mirror. “How are you finding the house? Are you in need of anything?”
Most of them are terribly dull. Emilia is effusive to her friends about the time she’s spending in the court, but all the rumors contained within have aged poorly. There’s a letter of credit in the pile, and a note about opera tickets, but not a single glimmer of personal information about Emilia herself. In her writing, she is always speaking of other people, and asking after others as well. If note for her name at the bottom of each letter, it would be impossible to know she was the author at all.
Sometimes there is a linebreak in odd places, mid-sentence. Two examples:
She looks up when you approach,
a small smile of welcome curving her lips.
When the fallout from the duel settles, Valentin offers to break open a bottle of wine. He takes it from his swordman’s cache, popping out the cork with little ceremony. It’s warm and weak, but a relief to your dry throat. The circle falls into easy chatter,
and your comments are welcomed. It only takes a glass or two before Emilia is the focus of discussion again.