How big of an age gap do you think there can be for romance in stories?

#82

Takafumi Wakaouji :heart_eyes:

#83

Guess, for me, it depends on how its written first then who is involved, ya know? I can’t condone a 13 year old being with an 18 yo, no matter the history or emotional battles they’ve been through together, I could understand if the emotions are there but I can’t get behind a romance between the two.

And I guess this is where the how its written part is explained. If a 13yo and an 18+ yo are showing those type of emotions for each other I’m fine with a huge time skip where the 13 yo is now 18 and the 18 yo is now 23/24(ish), perfectly fine and it’ll make those emotions just seem more genuine to me.

Now, if the character(s) are around 18 and they wanna go after a sugar daddy/momma, more power to them. Basically, my rule is “18 and up? Safe.” Anything below is a touchy subject that people would rather not talk about. Pretty sure my views can be construed as…weird, I guess.

Anyways, in summary: if the characters involved in the romance are above 18 years old, its fine/whatever; anything below 18 is murky waters that you could travel in but is it worth the risk?

#84

Use this formula (Age/2 + 7) to avoid creepiness. XKCD

#85

Can’t see why this is such an issue to be honest. If two people are genuinely attracted to each other, i.e. there’s no coercion,etc. what does the age difference matter? Obviously there have to be some limits, people have to be old enough to make such a decision for themselves and there are going to be consequences later down the line when one dies long before the other but that’s life.

The transition period between childhood and adulthood , that we used to call adolescence, seems to have been mandated out of existence and we now (barely) function in a strange society that has chosen an arbitrary age where it’s frowned upon/illegal for youngsters to be anything other than a simpering infant then, one microsecond later, they’re expected to act as fully functional adults.

Frankly I pity youngsters these days. So much petty legislation and control. Glad I was born when I was rather than 30 years later :expressionless:

#86

Double/Cross handled an approximately 30 year age difference between the MC and Rebecca, one of the potential RO’s, incredibly well.

#87

It depends. An 18 and 30 year old is a big deal. But a 38 year old paired with a 50 year old isn’t.

#88

I would normally say as long as both are adults, it doesn’t matter.

However, I have personal experience with the age gap thingy. When I was 15, I had a relationship with a 20-year-old. No, nothing sexual happened, seeing as it was long-distance. But I can say that I wasn’t coerced into anything and made my own decisions - in fact, I was more okay with the age gap than he was. It bothered him a lot, but I didn’t understand why. I now do, but also kind of don’t. We both had very similar maturity levels and since we got to know each other online, our ages were barely in the back of our minds, seeing as we mostly communicated via text. We fell in love with each other’s words, not biology. So, yeah. There are cases like mine, too. And as soon as I turned 16, it would have been legal anyway whoops. (No, I don’t believe legal = morally correct.)

#89

I like it when the age gap…is…well not that big . But I also do not mind if it’s big BUT within reasons and depand also on the character maturity . Because without it , someone can be of legal age…but sheesh can still come off as teenagery . And that give very pedo feel .

So pretty much : 11 , 12 , 13 , 14 , 15 , 16 , 17 and 18 . WIth someone around 20 and 25 ?

Hell no . 25 with an 11 years old ? Hell no .

18 with 25 ? technicly in some part of the world at 18 you are a legal adult . But it really , doesn’t mean much if you are immature still . And in some others country , 18 isn’t legal .

I was 21 when I wanted to date a women of 51 . Now thats one hell of a gap there .

But I was living alone and everything . And it didn’t work out , because the lady just didn’t feel confortable with the age gap . So…better friends than ennemies .

And true maturity , is…I understood and let it be . Someone immature will feel rejected and throw tantrum like it’s the end of the world lol .

But then again , I know what I was doing . and the way I grow up…is well very different from the norm .

So for me , it’s really maturity that make the check list ok or not ok . Because from personal experience , age can be just a number . I’ve met peoples who don’t act their ages and are still immature and all gray . And some are way too young to be serious and they still are .

I guess it’s how you feel about it .

I still will feel weird dating someone who is 40 and totally immature , who wanna party all night and doesn’t take responsability . Thats like dating a kid and really…ewwwwwwwwwwwww .

So yeah , if a character is a cloud head…dumbass , thats a turn off regardless how 18+ they are . Maturity is important . But so is the legal age . Mix them well and you can have a decent character .

Take Merril in DA2 , her naiveté mixed with her petite body = come off so teenager .

I for one couldn’t romance her at all . Felt very pedo like .

Isabella or aveline on the other hand , come off as mature and indepandant and know what they are getting into . And Isabella even though , dating (or sleeping around) isn’t an issue for her , she still had her own insecuritée .

when I write my own stories , so far all my mc are around the same age . The biggest gap would be 2-3 years at max .

I don’t feel confortable in kids + kids romance to be honest . I like to see kids being kids . They only get one chance at being kids . I rather the whole romance thing happen in adulthood , since romance isn’t always sunshine and unicornes .

This also remind me of a hot topic (I heard about it , wasn’t a participant cose I’m a slow poke) , about a romance mod . Where the romance is about a character thats 15 years old .

Now the issue that was raised , was the age between said romance and the main character who were around 20-23 I think . Saying they are too old .

It pretty much split into two group : Some said that if said romance can be part of a church order and slay evil in the name of their gods and wonder the land doing so . They must be mature enough to decide who they love right ?

The other side , were adamant that this character was too young and pedo like for the main character .

even though , the romance is very chaste and end up with a marriage proposale . And nothing ever happen until then , and it’s fade to black .

I guess , it all come down to maturity in the end . Grown up 40+ romance with someone who is 16 for exemple , are frowned upon . Because mainly the maturity that can be lacking in either side .

A grown person is supposed to know what they want . Someone very young , can be fighting hormones still . Not everyone mature the same way . Lust vs crush and all that .

#90

Is Noodle and 2D acceptable she joined The Gorillaz at ten and 2D was twenty now she’s 30 and he’s 40

#91

This topic could bring some interesting dynamics to a story. Personally, I don’t think it really matters what age gap you intend to have, as long as both characters are of legal age (at the very least 16) and that the relationship born between these two characters is enjoyable to read about.

The only time I really thought about this in terms of a CoG story was with Sir Robert Vale in the Great Tournament. I am not sure just how old he is supposed to be, but, given his physical prowess, I always figured he wasn’t all that old. But, then again, for those who really take the effort to look after themselves, people can remain fit and capable well into their 70s and more. And Sir Robert was never one to sit idle; he might have been one of those to still attend tournaments even when he gets quite old.

Sir Robert is the only character in an interactive novel who was of some significant age older than the protagonist and yet I wanted them to have some kind of romantic relationship. It is somewhat impossible to achieve, but I can imagine at least one way it is possible, and one that does not involve changing the story all that much.

In real life, it is much the same. I have only met one person who was significantly older than me that I found myself attracted to. He was an assistant professor, though I met him outside of college. He was one of the most charming and genuinely nice people I have met. Smart, sophisticated, and he took good care of himself. Shame he was married, but I cannot say I was surprised. The good ones are always married or gay, as they say. He must have been some 20 odd years older than me. Maybe 30. I cannot remember exactly.

Admittedly, age can be a significant barrier to many. But when you meet someone who emulates those qualities that you most appreciate in people, it is easy to forget things that would otherwise be glaring. That is what you have to capture in the story. The age has to be seen as an irrelevance, in the end, something the characters just don’t care about.

#92

I think any thing is fine as long as Both characters are above 18

#94

As long as the characters involved are mature enough to know what they’re doing and what it entails (read : not a teenager) and there’s no power abuse presented in a glorifying/romanticizing way, I’m fine with huge age gaps. Naturally I have preferences—a 20 year old dating a 80 year old wouldn’t be my thing, but if anyone wants it, hey, you do you.

(I like age gaps no more than 10 years, but 20-30 years is also doable. More than that is…um, not my forte, but it’s not like I’m going to mind if anyone does it.)

Of course, characters with eternal youth who are actually 200000 years old are something else entirely.

#95

I romanced a 700 years old Asari , NO REGRET! :kissing_heart:

#96

An interesting plot point from We Happy Few.

Sally: Do you hate me Arthur?
Arthur: Just because you fucked my father in my mother’s bed! Sigh No Sally I don’t hate you. Ironically you might be the most innocent person I know.

Sally came to live with Arthur when she was around thirteen.

Don’t know when the event in question occurred but it could be related to the topic. Or maybe it’s a think veiled excuse to say wtf about it.

#97

Generally for the young adults 18-25 the age gap is usually, half your age as a gap and they can keep up usually no issues.
When they reach your age as a gap you have less in common and keeping up with you for short duration is doable but they often don’t have the endurance you do.
150% your age as a gap: remember take it a lot slower keeping up with you is not gonna happen unless they are really fit or your really not, also remember a land line is a corded phone and a letter is a physical text that isn’t instant.
200% your age or more for a gap: Is it the money, or is it parental unit issues?

wonderful times… though thats for them i suppose like being in their Mid 50’s

#98

i personally dont mind age when it comes to romance someone, is more of what attract me to that person. I have been with girls older and younger than me, i think the age gap is more of each person tastes more than anything else. For example there are people like me that dont mind age when it comes to romance and there are those that like younger or older people only xD

#99

this is true a age gap is effectively just a number and for those that just see it as a number they usually are mature enough to deal with it and if they have something in common and truly love each other age only slightly gets in the way if its really large difference but can still be ignored.

big issue is are they mature enough to handle it and do they really care what others think.

#100

I think the rule where you divide the older person’s age by 2, and then add 7 works pretty well. Although, larger age gaps can still be okay; especially in fiction.