Demo question and M.C age question?

I don’t know guys. I was here preparing a scene for my story. When all of the sudden it dawn on me. This scene is a little bit to much for my character’s age. I mean realistically, in today’s decade, teens do worth stuff than that. But what do I know. I grew up in a time where what was consider risky like clothing, is now considered a nun’s normal attire. Than I remember a comment from a few months ago that was reviewing a game and the person said that he didn’t like that the M.C was young so the person stopped reading it.

What ages are you guys comfortable with? Is there an age where you say I’m not reading this? What age do you think is best for a teen to kind of start growing up? The story is a dark but it also has it’s moments of good feeling

Right now the age of the first M.C is 14 and I’m kind of hesitant to age her up.

Second question is demo related. How long do you guys like your demos? Is it alright if I just post the prologue to get some feed back on whether the story needs more work, if it needs a new direction, if the format sucks and I need to change it, if the plot and idea simply just suck lol? You guys know that feeling where you get a ‘brilliant idea’’ and you go with it and the more time you spend with it, the more you kind of start doubting it. That is me right now.

This depends on the story and your writing. Also remember, your audience is going to be worldwide. Singapore, Europe and America and everything in between.

Just be careful not to go incense or rape or pedophile type of incidents and your feedback should give you a sign post on what if anything you write crosses the line.

For example: In my own WiP i tried to write a scene in a very allegoric method but some saw the passage as involving bestiality - from the feedback I got, I knew I needed to rewrite that scene because that was not my intent.

Edit: I posted a raw beginning to get feedback, so it can be done. I do suggest a minimum of 25k words though for people to get an idea they can give proper feedback on.

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Everyone is going to have different tastes and you can’t please em all. I like mine to be closer to my age range is 18 - 25. But if a story is good I’m not going to just stop playing it because the MC isn’t the same age as me.

Also I like demos that do just enough to make me want to play all of it. Don’t give all of the story away through your demo but stop at a relatively good point where the reader is begging for more and has a nice stopping cliffhanger type point but then enough where we get the idea of everything and can at least comment.

The MC can be any age, but younger MCs are usually more difficult to write. Don’t make the MC a complete idiot or have graphic romance scenes if they are young (below 18).

Alter Ego did a great job with a young MC. The tone of the game is silly and playful for young MCs. You had a chance to play pretend chef and feed your sleeping dad a mud cake. It was funny. .

The Walking Dead Game had a young preteenish MC, Clemintine. She was good because she wasn’t an idiot and didn’t always need others to save her from her own stupid actions. She was an intelligent zombie slayer.

If a MC is 12 or older, they should not act like a one year old. They are capable of producing life, taking their life, and other mature things, but they are still legally and mentally children. This balance between adult and child is hard to write for preteens and teens. Adults don’t have to deal with this. However,Most of the games with old MCs are depressing and talk about how the MC is ugly and falling apart and should just die already like the Fallen Hero WIP. I prefer age 18-45 MCs.

As for real, preview before you buy the game demos, make it long enough so that the reader knows most of the central characters and plot, so they can decide if they like it before they buy it and not leave a negative review because they were tricked. Also, end it on a cliffhanger or after a major twist. So, a fourth to a half of the length of the total game depending on how long it is and where the rising action occurs.

For a test of the demo for spelling and content errors demo, post enough so that the readers can properly judge your work which is probably at least a chapter. In your case, you seem to be concerned about how major plot elements (age) will be interpreted; post a test demo as soon as you have chapter one done so you can get feedback before any major plot holes, inconsistencies, or content errors form and result in you deleting (I doubt that you will have to delete much, just add in extra options so the player can define their MC more) a lot of your writing. You can also post your future plans and get feedback.

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I think it will depend on context. If a 14-year old is raped, this won’t sit well.

If a maturely-written 14 year old makes their own decision to be intimate with someone they know well and the scene fades out or is tastefully and metaphorically written, it could work. Perhaps you could have the younger character realize this is a possibility and something they eventually want on their own without specifically time stamping when it actually happens, you can then simply fade into the characters at a later point relating to each other in a new way, giving them both a character arc.

Or you could do this with both characters: they together come to understand a new level of their relationship: love, understanding, and comfortable “closeness” intimacy with the implication that neither of them will rush the physical “nitty gritty” part of romance until they are both ready–and that is okay…that could be as emotionally stirring as an idealized “they’re going to do it” scene however it gets worded.

This has to be so justified by the plot though. If your 14 year old has available age-appropriate options, a relationship with an older person is hard to justify. If they’re on the prairie in the 1800s stuck together in a blizzard…it won’t seem as out of place.

Doesn’t have to be the case some older people can look quite good, Patrick Stewart is one famous example. The MC of fallen hero is still relatively young, being described as a thirty-something I believe, however due to trauma (and presumably a lack of money, for a time at least) has really let himself go. That can happen at any age though and some teenagers are also, unfortunately, perilously close to falling apart and keeling over and don’t look hot, cute or sexy in the least.

Personally I’d say guys look best between 20-45, obviously depending on the guy, how lucky he is with his genes and how well he takes care of himself. It does go somewhat down from the peak after that, but some people are fortunate enough to age quite gracefully and if you set your game in a sci-fi or fantasy setting with functional magic, age and looks can become (somewhat) disconnected.

In fact we seem to largely agree on optimal age range and our differences seem to mostly be confined to our respective views of the Fallen Hero mc.

And yes, I’d love for Cyrus to be able to eventually begin to get himself in better shape again, once he overcomes some of his demons.

As for old(er) protagonists there can certainly be a time and a place for a tale about an old dog going on one last mission, or an elderly Emperor securing his succession and legacy, though it would be a far different perspective than what we are used to.


The MC in Fallen Hero actually falls within your age range … and we have totally different takes on them. I dunno if we read the same WiP there.

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Why is your character 14? Is this relevant to the story in any way?

I don’t mind playing a younger character, as long as they’re not engaging in too many ‘older’ activities. I get extremely uncomfortable if I’m playing a younger character who’s sexual, it just feels wrong. Or who is engaging in drinking or doing drugs.

The worst game to do this is Choice of Romance. By the third game, when you’re considered old and past it, you are still in your twenties.

I remember when I used to think late twenties was extremely old. Actually, when late teens was really old! I wish I could rewind to those days.

Having a demo and then having to pay to continue the story automatically earns you a 1-star rating off some people. It doesn’t matter if it clearly states in the description of the app store you get a demo and then pay you get the rest. If it says free when they download then get an option to buy some will say they were tricked and rate your game poorly. Both Zombie Exodus and my own game Unnatural have gotten 1-star reviews because of the opening free parts followed by paid content.


That made me bust out laughing so hard because my story starts on the prairies. However it is not set on the 1800s, Hahaha for a moment I felt like someone was watching me write.

Again, it depends (on how much older), older teens to even early twenties people can certainly seem more attractive than age mates at that age, they did for me at least.
If you’re writing an ancient Greek or Samurai inspired thing you may also be able to get away with May-December romances where the May is quite a bit younger, I do suggest keeping the naughtier stuff very simple, possibly even fade to black in that case. If you really want to write some delightfully kinky adult stuff into your romances, I’d say stick primarily to character ages that would clearly be perceived as “legal” by today’s standards. Of course CoG may and Apple certainly would decline to publish it in that case

As for a concrete example, I don’t think it’s that hard to imagine my 14 year old Totem Force mc developing a huge crush on his best friend’s rather cute older brother. Whether anything more than awkwardness and silent longing will come of that is up to the author, but I don’t think it’s particularly weird or distasteful.

Another option - don’t mention specific ages in the text. You could just say your character is “young” and the other is “older”.

@FairyGodfeather that’s the problem that I have. By no means is the story gonna have sex that’s just a no for me, especially for characters with a tragic background. The scene that I wrote which is making me think, is of a sexual nature but not pertaining to sex or anything related to that. How do I put it. It is behavior. You know like when a 10 year old girl behaves like a 10 year old girl but when she grows she starts wanting to wear heals and make up and start walking sexy and emulate other grown people. For me those are things that both boy and girls do its growing up.

In the scene that belongs to one of the choices you make, she is imagining dancing like an adult woman to a song lock in her room. It has to do with the plot and it’s an escape from the abuse that she suffer at the hands of her parents.

I feel comfortable with a 15 or 16 or old doing the scene but the reason I am hesitant to age her up is because like I said its a dark story with moments of happiness. It’s like a coming of age you know the characters finds out who she he are and if I age her up the coming of age aspect is something that would be lost, plus I have to add that I need the character to be naive about the world in order for her to learn about life. Aging the character up would feel to me like throwing that out the window.

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I don’t know what you mean by dancing like an adult woman or walking sexy. It kind of makes me think of a scene on the new Power Puff Girls TV show where the elementary schoolers were twerking. I thought that was odd, but it does happen as you said in your first post.

Scout was about 8 in _To Kill a Mockingbird _ when she had a comming of age story.

When do people become adults in MC’s culture? Some cultures have adulthood cermonies at 12 or 15. At 16, in my culture, you are legally allowed to drive a car which is the same as driving a one ton killing machine if you are not careful. There are a lot of high school finding yourself stories out there and 14 is still high school age.

A person can be nieve at any age and not know about the world. This is still a hard concept for me to grasp, but just because a person is older doesn’t mean they are smarter. A 13 year old can know more about life than a 30 year old.

Mayella was about 19 in To Kill a Mockingbird(if you don’t know this book, you can Google it) , but she didn’t know that there were nice people like Atticus in the world that could have helped her because no one told her. A person doesn’t know things unless they’re told, just like people aren’t automatically literate unless they’re taught. This explains some of the actions of people who suffer abuse. I liked the way this topic is handled in some games as long as it is done well like in the Walking Dead Game or the Red Spider 2 app.

I feel like I got off topic. But, you can keep the MC 14 if you want.

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Ah. Yes. I remember the WIP you are referring to; Rosebud Prep. 12 year olds, sex, drugs, murder, paedophelia, rape, implied rape… That one is bundle of “fun”… Good way to not get hosted on CoG at any rate.

Neither the Moderators, nor the Choice of Games staff have the time to read every single WIP on the forums. As such we rely on the community to alert us to issues.

If you have a problem with a WIP you have a number of avenues to pursue. You can flag it, you can directly message the moderators, or you can send an email to choice of games with your concerns. I’d suggest doing that rather than airing your concerns on an unrelated thread.

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Well the questionable age/activities thing was an argument for days on that one, is that not one of the points of inquiry on this thread? I thought it was relevant.

I also like games that span over a MC’s lifetime. Alter Ego did this where you played from birth to death and I thought that was fun. The Walking Dead Game covers a portion of Clemintine’s life and it’s nice to see her growth and character develop from good to great, even though it does not go from birth to death. I even like seeing my sim characters’ legacy in sandbox games.

But, those games have to be well written to have any MC character development. I feel that the MC shouldn’t be written as a bad person who turns good, because I feel it would be out of character for a defined MC to randomly have a character change and I don’t like to play bad characters. I also would play a 20 year old in a two year old’s body if I could and there would be no character development. The author has to “force” child-like choices on a young MC without being too heavy handed or making MC seem like an idiot in order to avoid that problem. Alter Ego does this well. You can get into lots of childish hijinks like choosing to feed your dad mud cake or sneaking a popsicle from the freezer.

Same. Honestly, I don’t know why is this such a problem. After all, the author could just let us pick our age, it wouldn’t have much of an impact on the game whatsoever.