How big of an age gap do you think there can be for romance in stories?

I know this can be a touchy topic, but assuming all characters are legally adults(Some countries differ in what that is, obviously. In Canada, this would be 18.), how far apart in age do you think characters in COG’s can be from each other?

Of course, romance also doesn’t necessarily mean a physical relationship, but I want to focus on clearly adult characters in stories.

Like do you think an RO of say two characters where one is 20 and the other is 25 is acceptable? What about say…25 to 35? 20 to 40? What’s the cut off point to what you, personally would see as acceptable? Is it different if the character you’re using is the older one? If so, why?

Share your thoughts, but remember. This is only concerning characters that would be at least 18+ in a story setting.


As long as both parties involved are adults or teenagers/kids of a similar age I don’t think it really matters. People are attracted to all sorts of people regardless or even because of their age. As long as it’s well written, I’d be alright with whatever, really.


In my stories, some of the ROs are close in age to the MCs but some are a lot older. In The Magician’s Burden, the MC is 18 and Mabelin, an RO, is 29. In The Enchanter’s Misery, the MC is 18 and one of the ROs, Blihja, is hundreds of years old. In Mass Mother Murderer, the MC is 18 and one of the ROs, Garad, is 35. I think it’s interesting and I haven’t had any objections, either.


We had this topic before, with @Ylva.

Let’s see some background on my state. Official age of consent is 16 but we have a three year rule that makes thirteen legal to 16 yr olds (on the books, we have a bunch of other laws that we can arbitrarily use to convict depending on the city’s mood). So I think I’m a little lenient with this. And even outside of that there’s a bunch of other factors that make certain relationships looked down upon (like work status)

It’s only a five year difference, I doubt many would bat an eye.

If I’m the 25 yr old, I wouldn’t go for it myself because I’d definitely view the other as old, but I wouldn’t say don’t put it in.
It’s not really a creep factor for me, more of a weird factor.
If I was the 30 yr old :thinking: sure.


I tried looking for a topic along these lines, but I couldn’t find it in search.

Huh. Don’t know how I didn’t notice that before.

It’s the bangs covering your right eye. And it looks like your squinting in your left :blush: Though I guess I shouldn’t be talking…


Perhaps the question presented is a big enough difference from that old topic that I’ll still give my opinion lol

I think as long as they’re two knowing, consenting adults (that is, of legal age) there shouldn’t be a problem. Me, I’m 19 and if I were hypothetically to date anyone IRL, 25 would be the cut off for how old I’d be comfortable with them and that’s just because I know my maturity and what I’m comfortable with, as people who are much older than me, who have more power than me, have taken advantage of me for the worse. But that’s also in a real life scenario. Playing a character in a game? I’m way more flexible about what I’m comfortable with and not.

Some people are comfortable with even older people too (and I’ll admit some of my faves in dating sims/otome games have been around 35-40 :laughing:) If I were playing the older character, I would not date the younger character if it were that 20 to 40 you mentioned, but the others, I might.

So, my personal feeling is, in a fictional setting I’d be cool with anything as long as it’s

  1. Fully, knowingly consensual
  2. all characters involved are at least 18 (the safest choice in regards to age of consent even if it differs and has lots of technicalities for many places)
  3. there’s not some power disparity in the relationship as there can sometimes be in relationships with huge age gaps (which can also fall under consensual as a power disparity can lead to coercion, but still)

Masami in Samurai of Hyuga is like thirteen ( judging by her behavior. )And the Samurai is in their thirties( I’m guessing. )So about that big.

As long as both parties are over 18, anything is okay. 15 and 20 would be a nope, but 25 and 45 is completely okay in my book.


Thats a bit…uh nasty.
In summation though as long as theyre adults its fine but then there’s the added issue of difference in maturity that both parties must contend with.


I don’t think anything physical ever happens between the two, or it really develops in that way.

But for frame of reference, the age of consent is 13(minimum) in Japan. In Canada it would be 16 and I think it’s close to the same for U.S at 16(Don’t know about all states.) In some countries such as Iran, it is required that you be married at first.

But no. I don’t think there’s anything more that happens than an emotional bond between the ronnin and Masami. Then again, I still haven’t played three yet, so I could be wrong.

Edit: As a couple of people pointed out, while 13 is the lowest it could possibly be set in Japan, normal circumstances would almost never have it set that low.


The topic of this discussion was romance so I thought that was what they were referring to. Regardless, apologies for assuming.

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It is. And I want to steer it to keeping it along that way, but I think sometimes giving context to what’s acceptable in other countries might be something to think about. At least legally. Not necessarily, societally.

I think that gets complicated to answer if both parties are over 18. In my WIP the oldest RO will be in their early 40s while the MC will be 25. It’s a pretty big age gap but I’m in the belief that once you’re 25 and over it starts to matter a lot less. :thinking:


Then comes the issue of who you are writing for. i dont think most users would enjou reading a romance where the age of consent is lower than the us. I assume the us would be the standard for most cogs users? What do you think?

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Oh nothing has happened except dialogue “You’re the only reason I stuck around kid” and other things that can seem paternal except in Book 1 you can pretend she’s your lover to try and fool a guard. but their gender is locked to be your ronin’s preferred sexuality. Could be book four takes place after a time jump.

Don’t misunderstand. I don’t need to experiment with it, to remain confident that a romance between say a fourteen year old and a forty five year old would weird people out. Myself included. Someone probably can already think of a story like that, but I don’t want to know, nor am I interested in what kind of stuff exactly they are reading.

As a writer, I think keeping things along the lines of social standards to the U.S, would be better.

On topic however. About adult relationships. I’m 23. Personally, I’d say I’m fine with just about any women older than me(I kind of prefer it, honestly).23-early 30s? I’m fine with that. But 23-40? That would too far apart. I still have a lot of things I want to do before I’m old, and I want to share doing them with whoever I’m with. And I don’t think I can do that, if they are…this will sound very rude…but…past their prime of their youth?


Maturity is more important for me than age.
I’m more likely to like a mature 25 year old with a 50 year old, tham an immature 18 year old with a 25 year old.
(I’m focussing on 25 here, as that’s the age when the brain is fully developed, from what I understand. Correct me if I’m wrong.)

The age of consent where I live is 15, so that’s the lower limit I feel comfortable with, but I’d prefer at least 16.
And someone younger than 18 should not be with anyone older than 19.

Of course, when you add longer lifespands into the mix, it gets more muddied, but I’d say make the younger at least around 25.
No teenagers dating immortals, please.