Hallowed Book 1: The Forebearer's Flight (WIP) (Update: 2/18/2024)

A history about paladins? Count me in!
I have spent way too many campaings being a paladin un DnD :rofl:

I have a suggestion for an elemental affinity, i know its not the most of the “holy” of things, but, you could have that paladin in wich defeated the fire giant have her ‘domain’ be like holy fire? I know i have gone on a voyage here, but, as said its just a suggestion…


Thanks for the suggestion! And don’t worry, I’m always glad to see interest in the story.

I am planning on giving the player the ability to “pick up” (so to speak) different powers as they go. So that each route doesn’t feel railroaded in terms of what you can do/who you are. Angels and dragons specifically come with their own elemental powers (such as dragons being able to breathe fire/ice/etc).

Angels have an ability that’s probably the closest to what you’re thinking of. But I’ll keep that in mind when I’m planning things out. There’s certainly plenty of room for various elemental powers going forward. I don’t know if it’d work for an affinity in itself though.


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Author’s request.

Update - 1/3/2024

So this WIP’s gone through a bit of a restructuring, by that I mean I rewrote it and changed large aspects of the premise. Although the core features will remain the same in this version. I hope you all enjoy!

This update covers the prologue as well as the first chapter, both taking place when the MC is a child. I won’t be focusing on the MC’s childhood too much but it is important to show a little of it for various reasons. The plan is for the next chapter will move through the MC’s adolescent years and to their early adulthood where they’ll stay for the duration of the first book. I attempted to get most relevant exposition done with early so it doesn’t drag subsequent events down.

I’ve made a few decisions for game mechanics going forward I want to elaborate on here.


In all likelihood there’s still not going to be romance in this game. However, I wanted to make relationships more complex than like/dislike since I don’t think the MC being at odds with the rest of the cast would work well with the story anyways (this doesn’t mean the MC can’t dislike or hate characters who’re antagonistic to them). So I’ve taken a slightly different approach.

Using the new character Livia Sparrow as an example. My idea is for the MC’s relationship with her is to tie it into their history with each other as well as Livia’s worldview, wherein she’s a princess who aspires to be a leader. So the MC can either butt heads with her by refusing to let her take the lead, in which case they become frenemies of a kind who lock horns at times.

Or if the MC chooses to listen to her their relationship will be something akin to the kind you might see between a knight and a queen, not necessarily in the sense that Livia thinks she’s better than the MC but in the sense that their dynamic is a bit different.

That’s just one example of course. There’ll be other characters the MC can have more ordinary friendships with.


Occasionally (when these choices appear they’ll be written in bold) you’ll be met with a choice that will determine the MC’s stance on something for the foreseeable future. In this demo for example there’s a decision as to whether or not the MC develops a certain fear after the events of chapter 1. This will effect flavor text and alter certain choices you can make.

My aim is to write in a way where it’s narratively satisfying whichever stance you pick.


I won’t be adding a wiki into this project but I decided to add a glossary in the stats menu to reduce confusion. While I’ll endeavour to write in such a way that it’s not needed I understand the use of fantasy terms, names, etc can be a bit confusing sometimes. So I think the glossary will help with that.


I’ve mentioned in the original post that this game isn’t a stat-driven one. So I’ve decided to take a slightly different approach here. Instead of raising a stat throughout the game you’ll acquire certain skills/knowledge as the story plays out depending on your choices. There will not be any premature game overs in this so pick what interests you most.


Hey, saw this pop up on the forum and decided to give it a try. I’m not sure if the link is old or the demo didn’t update properly, but there seemed to be a few issues. Playing from the beginning without skipping the intro crashes at the end of the scene with the paladin and the shadow. (Chapter 1 Line 652: invalid option)

There also seems to be an issue or missed code/variable somewhere as “unknown” kept popping up where his/her seemed to be expected.

The save feature seems to be uninitiated as well, but that is a minor gripe.

Finally, there are a few spots with odd grammar (which might just be a case of code going wonky), and a few choices which seem to be in first person which then leads to 3rd person text.

Overall the premise is promising and I’d love to see more of this world! Hopefully this doesn’t come off as condescending or snarky. Good luck with your writing endeavors!

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Hm…Just started trying this game, but what is with the ‘Unknown’? Like here ‘As everyone’s attention turns toward her, Raisa ducks and hides unknown face. She awkwardly nods in agreement.’.

Oh wait, you didn’t add a pronoun…Doh Lol

Also, the Save/Load Plugin seems to be not working.

Found error: chapter1 line 652: Invalid option; conflicts with option ‘“Matriarch?” I ask, confused. “What happened?”’ on line 643

Can’t continue at all.


Alright my apologies for the technical errors. I believe I’ve fixed the issue related to the main character having a missing pronoun. Again, sorry about that.

I haven’t gotten a chance to check the reported crash personally yet but I think I fixed it. I appeared to have accidentally copied-pasted the same choice twice in the code which I think might’ve confused CS. I removed the duplicate choice which should hopefully take care of the problem, I’ll check personally in a minute.

The first-person POV in the choices is intentional for the moment. Although it may change later on.

The save plugin hasn’t been added yet. I forgot to disable it in dashingdon, sorry for the confusion! I’ll add it in when the demo gets longer.

EDIT: Alright the crash appears to be fixed! Thanks for the feedback everyone.

Thank you!


Interesting start and concept, can’t judge much beyond that yet.

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Thank you for fixing the error, so gotta say its pretty good. Really, we totally need more Elves and mystery and demons in our Lives. Also, totally need to be adopted by that sweet Queen lol

I hope you keep working on it! :hugs:

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Are the character’s two friends romantic?

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Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far! Also happy to hear Siara comes across well, I have a soft spot for her.

In all likelihood, no they won’t be. Reason being that I’m both not good at romance and this book is already going to have a lot of branching in it. I don’t want to complicate it even more. Sorry if that’s disappointing!

Thank you!


So currently I write the narrative in third-person POV and the choices in first-person POV. I was wondering if people would prefer I continue with that or change the text in the choices to the third-person instead?

I figured I should make a decision before I progress any further.

What POV should the choices be written in?
  • First-person POV
  • Third-person POV
0 voters

No problem. Lol it’s okay, his story is very good. Waiting for new updates and the opportunity to destroy enemies.

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Update - 1/16/2024

Chapter 2 has been added to the demo. It weighs it at about 18,000 words. This chapter has a fair bit of minor branching in it, so I’ve added the ChoiceScript save system for convenience’s sake.

This update will cover the MC’s adolescence and the rest of their backstory as it relates to Silver Tree, with some basic character customization along the way. The goal is to introduce the world and characters before beginning the plot proper next chapter.

The character customization will have an impact on the story going forward, such as how other characters react to the MC and a little of what they can do. For example, if a short MC tries to overpower someone bigger than them it might not go so well, unless you pick the Colossus affinity in which case you can enjoy everyone assuming the MC’s weak just for them to manhandle people twice their size. I’ll be adding a character customization guide to the original post.

Any feedback on the plot, characters, or interactive elements are all welcome!


Will half to play more when i get the chance over all enjoyed the update :grinning: there was two things that jumped out to a sleepy mind 1st im not certain about so will half to go through again seemed like something didnt match up or flow into each other corrrectly at some point. The 2nd thing was a bit further and there was a utterance of a phrase in the same line structure twice forget the exact spot but the second time of it might be better off removing so looks better as it stands at the moment.

Looking forward to more and might have more to say after a few more playthroughs and gather of thought lol

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Thanks for the feedback! There was a lot of mini branches in this one so I wouldn’t be surprised if the flow could use a little work. If anyone spots any examples, let me know, and I’ll see what I can do! I’ll keep an eye out for the repeated phrase too; sorry about that.

Thanks again!


Mini Update - 1/18/2024

Edited the stat screen a bit so it’ll display what skills the MC learns and what knowledge they accumulate as the story progresses.

My current approach is to write this one chapter at a time (while fixing any errors I see), then go back and edit the entire thing after I’m finished, so I don’t get stuck in an editing loop and never make any progress. That said, I’ll be happy to fix any mistakes if anyone notices them, and will tweak things here and there as I go.

Also (I’d posted one briefly but it was sloppily done) I decided to post a poll or two (or three in this case) every major update to get a feel for what readers think about the story so far.

The votes will all be anonymous.

On a scale of 1 to 5 how do you like the demo so far overall?
  • 1
  • 2 (Below average)
  • 3 (Average)
  • 4 (Above average)
  • 5
0 voters

Favorite character (so far)

Who’s your favorite character (so far)
  • Bohemond
  • Livia Sparrow
  • Valora
  • Matriarch Siara
0 voters

I’ve been trying to balance full-on MC replies (the ones with six options) with having their misc dialogue (single lines/paragraphs and sometimes the way they ask a question) be based off their current personality stats. How’s that been going so far, for you?

  • I’d prefer more choices and to control the MC’s misc dialogue.
  • I think it’s been fine so far.
  • Something else (please specify)
0 voters

Kinda peak demo ngl. I love the interactions between MC and Livia.

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Thank you! Livia was a character I was a little worried about going in, given that she can be a little bossy, so I’m glad she’s coming across well so far. Interactions with her are fun for me to write.