Gramarye (WIP thingy)

[Teimato]

So…I’ve been working on this thingymabob for a bit… I hope it’s enjoyable or something It’s gonna be fantasy/romance type story! It’s a bit short but I’m continuously adding a bit everyday I used the tags on dashingdon better!

Story description: The very first Spathan festival runs in a few weeks and as a child of semi-prosperous merchants you’ve been pushed to attend. It’s an arduous journey of 3 days (4 in sandstorms), especially with you being plagued by nightmares. But you’ll be met with the Yudenich (very placeholder last name) family, kind but distant friends of your parents. Use your magic to advertise the wares of your mum and dad, but also… have a wonderful time!

https://dashingdon.com/go/6247

I can’t embed media anymore or something…? Oh well… I’ll come up with some link for the art stuff I did for it

[goliath]

I’d suggest adding a bit of a blurb, I wasn’t sure as to what I was going into, and was a bit apprehensive!

Anyway, the story is generally good but feels a bit rushed if I have to be honest, it feels as if I’m jumping from scene to scene. However, you don’t seem to have any major spelling mistakes and I’m looking forward to see more of your work.

[Jackpot1776]

Dashingdon is still down for me lol (wayhaven has grown too powerful!), so I’ll give feedback later.

But I agree with @goliath , a little explanation would probably entice more people

[Teimato]

Thank you both! As soon as I posted I kinda had an idea of a blurb so I felt that rush of regret lol.
I’ll try to revise the end and start of scenes to make it flow better

[Ghoslestat]

Interesting. I like the concept. One question, will there be RO’s?

[Teimato]

yes! I have 5 in mind… but there’ll be other types of routes like friendship and stuff

[Ghoslestat]

Cool. Can’t wait to see how it all plays out.

[Teimato]

Mm! Gosh! I don’t know how to fix it! I gave up early on cause it frustrates me so…

Thank you! I hope you will too!