Glomps are the best thing in the world.
Sidenote, I hope we get the chance to glomp somebody.
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Pssst, ninja update. modest First need not apply lmao
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Just started reading this. Liking it so far. 
You seem to have problems regarding run-ons and slight grammar issues. It sort of breaks the flow when I read, making me go back and read it again in order to understand what you meant. I believe a second (or ‘whatever number’- th) runthrough would fix this. I’d like to believe that the cause was due to you hurrying than lack of ability. haha
I also don’t quite understand. Why so many Bolded things?
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Thankya!
Its an old issue I’ve had for a long time I tend to run a bit long. As is rushing, my fingers can’t keep up with my brain. As per a run throughs, I try to do get through a chapter before I re-read it otherwise my train of thought derails painfully and trying to find where I was headed in the first place gets lost. BUT I still appreciate the pointers. Luckily this is a WIP, I promise that once it comes to a final draft I’ll be running more hard core run throughs.
More often than not bolded things are to hint at which ‘trait’ is being used. My hidden changes to the story hinted at.
Still looking for the pole dancing scene…
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…yep…keep lookin… you’ll find it…snrk 
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That seems to be a difficult way to write… And also rather stressful. Why don’t you try putting it all on paper or a short description somewhere else, and then write a better final piece? It would improve quality drastically and would lessen the work you have to do when finalizing. It would also allow us to… i don’t know, be better able to give better feedback?
Short term memory is a bitch I know, I end up sleeping late (or is it so late, that I sleep early) writing short description drafts… Anyways, good luck in your writing!
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That, or get a dedicated beta. haha
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Hold up there’s a pole dancing scene? Does First and Silic bust a move at a strip club?
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Cause I don’t have the patience to write it twice in two different places. Transferring info from paper to computer is immensely difficult for me and vise versa. I’m not the most… collected individual, focus is kinda difficult at best. I can’t do things ‘out of order’ or I lose my place, I have to work sequentially. Its frustrating to start in the middle of something.
Needless to say I’ve issues. I’m working with them. 
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You’re not exactly writing it twice… think write bullet points in one place, just the barebones. Add stuff if you want to, but not too many. Add them as you think of them, that way you won’t forget.
When you finally get home or settled in or something, write it in Word for a final draft. You won’t be hurrying then, coz you have your ideas written somewhere else.
I don’t know. haha this is how I do my writing, but maybe it won’t work for you.
That’s the thing; we are all different. Just because I start with an outline on a yellow legal pad does not mean you do… as long as we respect each other and learn from each other then we should all benefit.
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You’re getting a hang of this, the world outside was more fragile than the lab. Guess they took your strength into consideration back ‘home’ if onw coould call it that. Out here it was like everything was made of sand and glass; people included. Shuffling around
last page of the current story
if one could call it that
funny addition to the story btw
Just did a play through, enjoyed the story so far. Looking forward to what I think is going to be the first major dramatic moment of the game, namely the return of Silic and the resulting choice between going along with him or staying with the MCs new found friends (or are they…)
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Okay, it’s time for a french language tip. It’s femme, with two m, and femme being a feminine word, it’s la and not le, unless the “le” is done on purpose then it’s okay. 
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Thanks my french is terrible, So is femme? Good to know.
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No problem. Always happy to help. 
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gets popcorn and sits on throne You may being your gladiator match…i shall be delectably entertained…
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