Enjoyed this a bunch.
The mood of the writing hooked me right in and I’m SUPER curious to see where the story goes. And I love having the option to say that your mc is actually terrible at blending in. Cracked me up 
Also I love Katla already. I can’t wait to be gay with her 
My lake origin MC and Kalta are going to be the most chaotic of Besties, with hopefully, the other characters filling out the rest of the friend group! (Provided that they don’t smite us 
) I really hope romance won’t be enforced. Let me and my MC create a group of besties not… romantic stuff. Please.
You had me at Disco Elysium quote and the rest did not disappoint. The concept is freaking awesome, even more so with Norse mythology theme. The backstories really give off that creepy folklore vibe and “monster” customization part is alwayse welcome for me. Hope we’ll get to explore MC’s struggles with trying to pass for a human, despite them living in society for some time.
I didn’t fully grasp MC’s personality yet, but I loved their dynamic with Katla, especially if you choose to be a supportive jerk (like not answering the phone call, being all sarcastic about it but still helping).
Magni is rude xD Hope MC can keep being an (optionally friendly?) asshole to him despite the power gap. It’s as they say, safety is nothing, image is everything.
One thing that bothered me is the fact that MC seemed… kinder? in Chapter 1 in comparison to prologue (if you chose to be more ruthless, that is). Probably because the reason for the “diet” is not fully explained yet (or I’ve missed it, that is also a possibility). If killing again is not an option or leads to a bad end, that’s okay, but as someone who likes to play morally grey characters, I hope MC will be able to feel wistful about “good old ways” (I mean consciously, not beacuse of cravings), choosing the diet just because it’s safer, since they want to live with humans and all. The “callous” stat gives me hope, but still I wanted to mention it.
You’re off to a great start! Your writing is both immersive and descriptive, and you’ve definitely done your homework when it comes to Scandinavian mythology.
Speaking as a Norwegian, I appreciate that you didn’t just boil down the three origins to the more contemporary and recognizable “dryad,” “mermaid,” and “troll.” You went into a lot of detail and I was able to recognize the huldra and the nøkken/nixe/etc… for what they were right away!
(Incidentally, would we as a nøkken be able to take up the violen or fiddle if we choose music as an interest?)
It’s got some great potential for this story that is for sure. Meeting the two gods was…eye opening and a tad off putting not in a bad way but one that shows they have experience but not much social tack but I believe that’s to be expected form Norse gods, especially ones related to Thor. While Norse and Scandinavia mythology is not something I know a lot about I know some, though I am learning about Monsters of their myth here.
As for the MC character itself I like the premises of monster trying to be human. Usually you see some stories about side characters being the same premises but playing one while also fighting to not kill humans is different, nice, and even better so far it feels natural and not forced. They struggle with it but find a way to cope.
Either way I look forward to seeing more as your Patreon page. I wish you luck
Found a few issues.
So far I love this. The mythology and creature selection and customization is really interesting. I am curious if it’s possible to go to the pier? If so how I’ve played through a few times but it still shows as unavailable.
Grammar tweaks, a few bits and pieces of additional dialogue, and coding bugs fixed as per all of the wonderful feedback you guys have sent! Thank you so so much, can’t begin to express how much all of these comments have meant to me 
Thank you guys all so much!!! I’m so glad the concept wasn’t too out-there for people, I love any game that lets me be a non-human, especially ones that are lesser-known, so I’m so thankful it resonated with people. I also love all the fantastically strange and unique aspects of Norse Mythology, and am so happy to see people share that enthusiasm!
Yay!! This is such a huge compliment, thank you! Scandinavian folklore has been a niche fascination of mine since I was a young kid, and I’m so excited to finally incorporate it into a project.
Yes, a violin or fiddle is definitely going to become an option for those MCs with musical interests, and those lovely lake creatures will be more gifted than the rest if that’s picked as their instrument of choice 
Chaotic bestie, chaotic girlfriend, chaotic queen. Love the Katla love, thank you guys! 
Romance in this game is 100% optional! I’ll go back into my intro post to make sure that’s extra clear. I love romance but know that it’s not for everyone, and I want as many people as possible to be able to enjoy the story
Disco Elysium has my whole heart, love finding another fan out in the wild 
And yes, Magni’s friendship will either be friendly-friends or asshole-friends, because roasting your besties is my personal favourite sort of relationship.
As for your comment re: kindness in Chap1 versus the rest, I 100% see where you’re coming from. I’ve updated the demo to add a few more unfriendly lines, and will try to do so more as the story progresses & in editing stages. The reason for the “diet” will be explored more later on, but essentially boils down to an attempt to survive in a new world that the MC was never “designed” for; the creature that they were fated to be isn’t compatible with a world that’s entirely run by, and designed for, their prey. In terms of killing again/the future of the diet:
Killing will very much be an option again. It will impact the ending, but that isn’t to say that it’ll guarantee a “bad” one hehe. The MC’s diet being adhered to is absolutely going to be up to the player, and that’ll come up more as the story progresses. Cold-turkey doesn’t work for everyone!
!! Thank you so much for pointing these out! I’ve fixed the name issue; Hekla was one of my original MC name choices before I made Hekla the volcano the mountain-spirit MC is from, and then clearly forgot to swap out my coding smh. I’ll run through the rest ASAP!
The port is where you’ll be able to meet Modi; I’m in the process of tweaking some parts of that section that I wasn’t fully happy with & plan to have it up within the next week or so! It isn’t able to be accessed yet; I’m going to add a little explanation of that in parenthesis into the choice to make it more clear. Sorry for the confusion!
So glad you liked it Thank you so much for your feedback and for checking it out!
You don’t have to worry about that. All three beings are not to be trifled with.
A Skogsrå/Huldra (They’re technically the same mythological being) may look like beautiful human women, but they’re anything but. They can be benevolent if they feel like it, but they’re also the Scandinavian equivalent of succubi. Which means yes, there are plenty of stories out there of huldra marrying human men. One story warns men to never displease their huldra wives because they can bend iron with their bare hands. While they’re usually depicted as women, male huldra (huldrekall) also exist.
The Sjörå is probably the most, shall we say, discretionary of the three, since they’ll usually leave you alone unless you’re an asshole and/or a threat to them. That said, the sjörå is just one of many water spirits in Germanic folklore and the sheer aggressiveness the MC can display towards humans reminds me a lot of one of THE most dangerous creatures in Scandinavian mythology: the Nøkken. Unless you appease him with a gift or get lucky, he WILL kill you.
Despite initial impressions, Bergsrå aren’t always considered trolls, but I must confess that, out of all the three, they’re the ones I know the least about. That doesn’t make them any less dangerous because they spirit away their victims so often that there’s actually a term for it.
Here’s where it gets interesting: the specifics of Scandinavian mythology can differ depending on the region and interpretation. For example, trolls weren’t considered separate beings in Scandinavian mythology until much later, so the term troll can be found in many words describing anything of supernatural origin (trollmann = wizard, trollkjerring = witch, trolldom = magic, etc…).
This means that in Norway, or at least in some parts of it, the MC would still be considered a type of troll.
So yes, the MC is extremely powerful by default.
Powerful, but probably only for humans.
Yeah, we very much probably wont be getting a Mjǫllnir of our own, but, that doesnt mean our mc will be caking themselfs if it comes to a strugle with a human, valkyrie or a god
It’s not everyday I find an IF based in Norse mythology so it was very refreshing to read (and your writing style is so immersive!). My favourite origen is the lake one, and I’m looking forward to seeing where this story will go
(…I also can’t wait to meet Modi. You really got me at the “goth guy with sarcasm problems” part, so now I’m curious to see how things will go with my also goth, sarcastic - and somewhat chaotic - MC)
after choosing how we feel about Katla helping us two versions of the same paragraph appears (I think it only occur when our relationship with her is between 50 and 70)
it should be than
This wip has me conflicted. On one hand im disappointed that i did not find such a neat story sooner and on the other hand im disappointed i found it now rather then in a year or 2 when its closer to completion because now its gonna live in my head rent free 
also
Author on thrud: “you might find yourself forgetting how easily the fortune-telling goddess could break you in two. You might, but she’ll be happy to remind you if you do.”
Me: Look i know thats meant to be like cautionary and a warning to not underestimate her but your kinda threatening me with a good time rn because im into that 
being manhandled by her, not underestimating her i mean.
Hi! I just wanted to say I found this thread yesterday and I absolutely adore this WIP.
Your writing is really immersive and you captured the sense of power and otherness that comes with playing as these eldritch beings.I also really enjoyed the feeling of discovery as the MCs emerge into the world beyond the boundaries of their former homes.
You’ve sparked a new curiosity for me around Scandinavian folklore. Do you have any recommendations of books, websites, podcasts, etc. to learn more about the creatures that inspired the game or Scandinavian folklore in general?
I have a vague memory of an Icelandic show called Katla involving a volcano and supernatural events, I was wondering if you’ve seen it?
It’s always nice to meet another romance enthusiast. Could you describe the vibes of each romance?
I can’t wait to see more and I’m very curious to learn more about the MC’s place in this post Ragnarok world.
I’m already interested. And Katla is shaping out to be best girl.
I love it whenever the genre got any Norse mythology. And the story, ah what a cliffhanger! I can’t say much but I knew full dang I love it so much. 
I really can’t wait what the next update will bring. Keep it up the good work author! 
This is really cool so far and I look forward to seeing more.
A small nit-pick of mine, why does the Sjörå Origin only have fish scales on their forearms? Is it a specific feature of their myths? I think it would be more interesting if they had more scales up their arms, legs and torso and would bring them more in line with the other origins who also have unique features on their torsos.
Also you reference blood tasting like copper a few times, but the metallic taste of blood comes from the iron in blood not copper.
I really like the demo so far but played with a white background, so the big black borders on the chapter images did stick out a bit.
It ain’t well known but if you replace *image with *text_image it’ll invert the colours of your picture when you have a black background. It was a quick photoshop job so there might be a few stray pixels here and there but this is what I mean:
this is what you currently see
text_image results
This is what I replaced BWPrologue.png with
Looking forward to the next update!
Another Norwegian checking in. By the way, nice to see another Norwegian on the forum, @Neverwherehere, there aren’t many here, as far is I know. There’s only one more forum member who I suspect to be Norwegian God formiddag.
Anyway. over to you, writer. This WIP looks really interesting and promising.I really like the concept and the story so far and the opportunity to play a mythical being and the customization options we players/readers get. And there’s at least one RO(Thrud) who looks really tempting. While we’re on it, since it seems that the kids of Thor each have a different mother, I guess that Thrud is the daughter of Siv, while Magni is the son of Jord(if I remember my Norse mythology right).
It does seem that you use the Swedish names for all the mythical beings. Unlike Neverwhere, the only Nordic mythical beings I know much about are the ones who are found in Norwegian folklore,but from what I understand Skogsrå is at least largely the same as Hulderfolk/Huldra and Sjörå is about the same as Nøkken(I do not know what, if any, are the Norwegian equivalents of Bergsrå if it’s not Troll, maybe Rise?) This is a comparatively minor point and certainly not a deal breaker for me, but: Since the story wholly or mostly takes place in Iceland and I’d assume the MCs either is supposed to come from Iceland or whichever Nordic countries we headcannon them to come from, I do think it would be nice for the story to either use whatever the Icelandic names are for the mythical beings in question or give more representation to the names of the mythical beings in question, like Nøkken and Huldra/Hulderfolk, in the other Nordic countries. If you use the second alternative you could add or two more names for each mythical being in question at write it like this, Skogrå/Hulderfolk. And since it’s hard to write special Scandinavian letters like ø,æ and å, when you live in a non-Nordic country, just use its equvalents instead, like you’ve already done, like ö for ø and à(or aa) for å.
I won’t deny that me focusing on what names are being used for the mythical beings is probably also influenced by remnants of the Norwegian “little brother complex” when it comes to other Scandinavian countries. Because Norway at least used to be the Scandinavian country that was most often ignored by people from outside of the Nordic countries and Norwegians were more likely to be mistaken from being from another Scandinavian country(supposedly, though I don’t know it it’s true or not, some Americans thought Norway was the captial of Sweden). A bit like Canadians with Americans, tbh. But I do think there are also good reasons to make my suggested changes to the names of the mythical beings, both because it would be more correct whether the MCs are all supposed to come from Iceland or they can come from any of the Nordic countries and because it would both give more representation to other Nordic countries and also be a good way to teach readers more about Nordic folklore. Like I said, this is not a dealbreaker to me, so I would still play/read it and enjoy it even if you don’t make any of the changes I’ve suggested. But I do think it would be an improvement if you made these kind of changes and would certainly really appreciate it if you did.
Hello! Sorry I haven’t been around replying to posts in a while - I fractured my elbow a few weeks ago and got knocked out by a second round of COVID, so things have been…slow going, to say the least.
But…the Patreon is live, and so is the second half of chapter one for Patrons! With this update the demo is up to 68k words total, with chapter one hitting 51k 
If you’re able to check it out please do, but if not the update will be public on August 21 - ten days from now.
I know I have a lot of questions/messages/comments to respond to and bug fixes to get on (because I’m sure my COVID fever editing probably just made things worse. oops.), so I’ll get to those ASAP! thank you guys so much as always for taking the time to reach out & for playing Enjoy!
Take ya time, we can wait 
, Your health comes first 
Looking forward to the update tho
