I don’t comment very often on these forums, but this is amazing! I love it! It’s been ages since I’ve played a demo that’s toyed with my emotions so expertly.
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So is there any reason the other three ROs were coincidentally at the same fair at the same time?
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I love this! I was immediately hooked in 
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Ah!! Thank you so much. I’m so glad you enjoyed it 
thank you for the kind words.
You’ll find out in the next chapter!
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Holy- this is way too good! Can’t wait for more!
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Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I don’t know when the next update will be but it’ll definitely be a fun one to write ahah :]
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Alright, first of all, this is great. The premise is interesting enough, and writing wise I’d say you definitely have improved. Shame on what happened to TFH: Fear, but I’m sure if you ever wants to rewrite it in the future, there will be many that’ll look forward to it. (me included, of course!)
Second of all, the late emperor’s haunting scene is… something. I can’t quite put it into words. Like, he’s being sweet and talking to my MC, being concerned for him, but hell I’m hurt when he asks if MC was disgusted by him, that did the MC hate him for dying or if he hated himself for the killing. That he only wanted to spend time with me, to have me look at him. Enough to have me do so, but damn the visuals that I got. Props to you on that one.
Third of all, I cannot wait for our eventual reunion Zhi Lan.Oh, the sweet sweet angst. I can almost feel and taste it already… Really excited to see how you’re going to write it out!
All in all, fantastic work. Really can’t wait for more, especially after that cliffhanger you pulled! Take it easy though, and if it means anything, a stranger online is proud of you! 
PS: sorry for the wall of text
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I loved your other WIP so I cried a little when I found out it was cancelled 
but I think I will like this one as well.
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Thank you for your kind words!! I’m tearing up knowing that you’re proud of me :’)
I originally wanted to make him mean and say nasty stuff to the MC but I didn’t cause I thought that the emperor being nice to the MC would make them feel more guilty and sad.
The reunion with Zhi Lan will be hell on earth.
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I really enjoyed this, looking forward to more
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Amazing demo!!
I really like that the emperor is nice to the Mc.
To many stories are being written with evil rulers, and too few with nice rulers.
It makes him dying and haunting the Mc ten times more sadder, so I am glad you change it. TwT
I have a question: Is there a reason, why the emperor call the Mc by their fake name, when haunting the Mc? 
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In response to your spoilered question: The emperor is said to be purely a figment of the main character’s mind, so it could be that he calls the main character by their false name because the main character considers that to be one of their names as well. Like, if you had a nickname that everyone called you and that you were close to, you might start referring to yourself by that nickname in your internal monologue.
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Hhmm… Yes, that is a good reason.
Thank you for your help!! ^^
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So, I really liked the fifth horseman, but I think your writing is on a whole different level for this one. This is just amazing, and the puppet/possession thing was a genius way of progressing the plot without making the reader feel railroaded. Props to you for that one. I was worried that the pacing was going too fast near the beginning, but it settles into a good pace, once the early action setting up the conflict is established.
I did feel like there were a few choices that could be added, though.
First, when releasing the lantern and making a wish. I felt like the option to wish for justice/revenge against the person who ruined your life would have been a good flavor choice.
Second, I felt like my character would have asked his father about the lotus mark, since it appeared the same day we were forced to murder him. If this would mess up the plot, though I completely understand not having the option. Though, I could ask and he just not tell me.
Finally, you may want to use control"f" and run through all your pronouns in the story. I noticed multiple instances where it would say “he” rather than “she”, vise versa, and “him” or “her” rather than “you”.
This is definitely one of the top WIP’s on the site right now.
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Thank you for your kind words!! They truly mean a lot.
I completely forgot about revenge/justice for the heir, I’ll definitely at that into the next update.
The lotus mark only appears after the emperor dies so asking him about it would be hard lmao. If I say anything it’ll be spoilers 
When talking about the pronoun mistakes are you referring to the puppet show?
Because if so, the stories in the show are told in third person but it’s me who wrote this shit so there are probably a bunch of mistakes :’)
I’ll check them out when I get the chance! Thanks for the suggestion and feedback 
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I meant he would ask the ghost of his father
I believe it said the crowd was cheering for “him” at the arm wrestle scene, when the MC was competing. I’m guessing you wrote the base of the scene as if teenage boy (Kim?) was competing.
However, there were multiple instances where the characters had the wrong pronoun in different scenes throughout the story.
I personally believe that as the author your main focus should be creating the story, not pronoun, punctuation and other grammar mistakes. Editors can find those for you later, so look for them but don’t let them get you down. Because as I said the story you’re writing here is really very, very good. 
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Guy… I fucked up.
I did something STOOPID.
I was trying to delete my old blog from Tumblr and I straight up deleted everything so there no Tumblr blog now.
Omg I’m actually-
Gonna cry now.
I’m going to make a new account and I’ll post it with the new update 
I hate my brain sometimes
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Setbacks give you a chance to explore that fork in the road you thought looked interesting, but didn’t try at first because you had something else in mind.
That’s enough of me sounding like a fortune cookie, but I hope there was also something really nice to balance that small flub in your day. 
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Well something had to balance out you absolutely hitting the story out of the park 
I’m kidding of course, sorry to hear that happened. But with a demo like this, you will have no problem bringing more readers to your tumblr.
Thanks for the awesome read!
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