Blood Legacies (UPDATE 16/05/25| New Demo | 203k words)

[Lucifur-dark]

Alright and I think I explained it wrong I meant that when he greeted them it said grand uke not duke and I was saying it was missing the d I would put a picture of it but I have no idea how to

[khakihades16]

Can we actually go hunt the moose or do we have to hunt the bear no matter what?

[Valixon]

Nope not far as ive seen so far.

[Iukan]

if you go for the moose the bear start to wake up so you go for the eye or neck choice

[Ronin_101]

I get what are you saying but the impact does not need to be physical scarring mental impact is also count forget the MC’s mother get killed it is one of these mental impacts will force somebody to become stronger or through them in the bit of despair and depression

[L.D.nunes]

I thank everyone for their words and support as well, and of course, your opinions on the scenes and rewriting of the new demo. Both about the ROs and the others, it’s good to know that some things I did right. I’ve been trying to learn both English and more about writing, so feedback really helps. I’m happy that the vast majority liked it, and of course, both positive feedback and criticisms, whether constructive or not, are always welcome, feel free to tell me what you liked or found unnecessary, or even if you didn’t like it, suggestions too, I’m always willing to listen (read) to your opinions and I like that. Again, thank you all

[L.D.nunes]

Thank you, and I totally understand, and actually, that will be possible, very possible, in the next update I’ll bring it.

[L.D.nunes]

Mercy. but yeah, only one eye was permanently injured in this case, so yeah, you can still see, at least with one eye

[L.D.nunes]

First of all, thank you, I’m glad you liked it. And I understand, I just thought it would be necessary and would be good for the story, however, the issue of scars is optional, they are partial, and don’t necessarily have to cost an eye (literally ), if you choose another of the options, you can end up with only scars on the shoulder, which can be covered by clothing. And I’m afraid the scars will have to stay, at least the ones from this beginning. The others that may become possible to obtain will depend on your choices.

And about the issue of the prologue, actually, I don’t intend to dwell too long on it, although there will be a good amount of time in the past, and a lot of development and new scenes, some of which will also be in the academy or outside of it, and some of the events that followed will be related to the central conflict of the story, because it is in the past that it begins, after something that I can’t tell you about because of spoilers, but that you may end up getting information about little by little.

[L.D.nunes]

I see, I’ll check that out and correct it, thank you for letting me know.

[Iukan]

Here should be HIS instead of YOUR “The king wanted my troops with his daughter”

[L.D.nunes]

Fixed now , thanks

[Iukan]

repetition of the word WERE, but to be honest, even with grammatical correction I didn’t understand what this sentence was trying to say. Are you saying the edge of the hill was where it was wet?

I suggest reviewing this description because it’s not making sense right now.

Remove THE from the sentence, the THE makes it look like two specific bodies but it doesn’t make sense here, because no body has been previously described for this scene

[LiliArch]

I think the two weres are correct. One refers to you, and the other to stones.

[Ronin_101]

I love the rage scene but will be there permanent damage from it because I like the perspective the place where the MC have gone into a rage to have giant ice spikes that cannot be broken or melted so I want to know the family sword that made out of ice what kind of ice it made from

[L.D.nunes]

Yep, and I hadn’t noticed that repetition, I’ll check that… And about this, actually, there are two bodies there.

[L.D.nunes]

In Darian, there are other ice elementals. So yes, the MC’s ice was broken through the use of elemental power from other elementals, although these are not as powerful as those from the MC’s house, they are still elementals.

[Ronin_101]

Ignore this I’m just stupid and I did not read correctly

[Iukan]

So my english is bad because even wuth two were it doesn’t make sense for me, besides, repetition of words is something to avoid in writing, the reader can become confused and if it is frequent it can be tiring.

[LiliArch]

I think it might benefit from a couple of commas. “The stones, below the edge of the hill where you were, were wet.”

Sometimes repeated words are grammatically correct.