Blood For Poppies (Public Beta Test Now Live! Game Complete! 10/9/20)


Huh. You know, you’re right. I didn’t think about that when I was creating the scene initially. I was focused on the interaction with Kel. That’s an option I’ll go back and add in.


Thank you. :slight_smile:

Nice! Seems cool!

Okay, I’ve finally gotten around to checking for grammar errors. :stuck_out_tongue:
Sorry it took so long. Got busy doing other stuff. ^^;
Let’s begin:

“His name is simply Doctor, and he has been caring for you for as long as you remember.”
Could probably use a “can” before “remember”.

“You wash it down with the milk, still feeling hungry. The food only made the hunger more noticeable.”
Tiny bit of repetition with the word “hunger” in this paragraph. If it’s for emphasis, then it’s fine.

“He coughs for a moment, before opening the book on his lap.”
No need for that comma.

“A knock on the door interrupts you. You wonder if it’s Doctor again.”
I would make that it’s own paragraph. But that’s just me.

“Restless, you turn in bed, staring at the ceiling.”
More of a continuity thing, but wouldn’t be hard to lay on your back with a big pair of wings?

“You feel the urge to do something…but what?”
Needs a space between the ellipses and “but”. Same goes for all the other ellipses.

Huh. I don’t know why, but I thought there were more grammar errors than there are. Kudos there as well, then. :slight_smile:

Also, for some reason, when you talk to Doctor about himself in the photo, after you say “Nevermind”, there’s another completely blank page that gives the option again. It’s not game-breaking or anything, it’s just a little weird.

Hmm… I’m actually kinda tempted to work on some art for this story. Never felt that for a CoG game before.

There’s a dangling participle sentence that goes something like “Rising from bed, the door opens and the Doctor appears.” Obviously, the door didn’t rise from bed.

Also, Kel throws the darts to you “in a highly dangerous manner.” This is telling, not showing, and makes it bland. Describe his actions instead, e.g. “Kel grins and casually tosses the handful of darts at you. You jump back with a yelp. The darts thunk into the floorboards just short of your feet, and Kel chortles at your reaction.”

Thank you, @HoraceTorys and @ArchAngel950. It really helps to have another eye look through this. I appreciate it, especially since I recognize people are busy with other things. This is no excuse, but when I’m writing the first draft I tend to get fatigued and make stupid mistakes, haha.

The two neverminds are because you loop back and can ask another question. However, if you’ve already asked that question then it’s not going to appear and all you’re going to see is “nevermind.” I think graying out the question would be a better option.

If you do art I would love to see it! Of course, we’re all very busy with real life and such.

@Farside, for just hiding the options on the “Nevermind” part, I assume that you used the *hide_reuse command. Try using *disable_reuse and they’ll just appear greyed out (and not dissapear) if you want to do this (it would avoid further confusion with this).

Not a problem. Happy to help. :slight_smile:

May I also lay down a prediction? I know it’s early, but I can’t get it out of my head. :slight_smile:

@Archangel950 Sure. Shoot it at me. I’m curious.

Aleta (my default name for the PC; it means “winged”), Kel, Ashton, and Carmelle (and possibly others) are failed genetic experiments (for a given value of “failed”), with DNA taken from Doctor and the other person in the picture, who died tragically. His love for the person in the picture was such that he felt he had to bring her back somehow, even by proxy. This is why Doctor loves Aleta the most: S/He resembles the person in the picture the most, and so was the most successful.

The wings, horns, and the like are genetic mutations, and Doctor is a geneticist. He views them all as something less than human, but affectionately.

… Which would also lead to even worse implications to everyone calling Aleta a bird. To Doctor, they’re not trophies, or even slaves. They’re pets.


That’s a fine theory, and I love the name Aleta!

Well, I won’t give anything away. I will say that you can look at your theory and find nuggets that are true and nuggets that are semi-true. There is more to it, and there are actually some horrifying things that come to light later.


Consider why Aleta/PC looks so much like the woman, and where Aleta’s/PC’s wings may have come from. Is it just genetic engineering?


That’s all I’ll say for now. It’ll be revealed in the next version of the beta.

The “pets” thing is quite the observation, now isn’t it? :3

Thank you. I know it’s a feminine name, but I apply it to both genders because… I just really like it as a name for a winged individual. :slight_smile:

Of course, I don’t have a lot to go on, so I’m just giving my best guess. I might revise my prediction as more evidence comes to light.

I would be disappointed if there wasn’t more to it, honestly. :stuck_out_tongue:

Most likely not just genetic engineering, if it’s even that at all, but again, I don’t have much to go on. Until more evidence of the supernatural shows up, I try to keep things as mundane as possible. So far the most overtly supernatural thing is the dream, which… was a dream. *Shrug*

Macabre pets in a macabre pound run by a macabre man.
Imma sthmart 'un. XD

I named the PC after myself :p.

I can’t wait for the next beta, but I really want to be able to sleep that night even though I know this is just a text game.

Does this take place during modern times, sometime in the future, or maybe in an alternative universe?

I feel like maybe thw woman is my mom and the docture keept her to expermint on and have a kid me. And I named my person Raven. :slight_smile:

@misty Sooo you named him/her Misty?

@vampierkid Doctor explicitly says she’s not your mother if you ask him. Although he could be lying. I wouldn’t put it past him.

Eliza actually.

awesome so far i want more!

I’m curious to see how the title will tie into the story. May I ask if you have a timeline for your updates?

my theory is im some kind of freaky failed clone

No timeline for my updates. I will say that what has been made so far was created in under a week. However, I do have school and work and other responsibilities, so we’ll see. I’m considering creating something of an open development blog where I’ll post minor previews and little betas for people to give feedback on.

I love the mass wild guessing thing because it allows me to see what clues readers are picking up and what I need to hint at more.

I personally named my female player character Iris and the male player character Gabriel while testing it.


Your character could be. That’s certainly interesting. :smiley:

And Doctor could be an alien performing small-scale experiments (this isn’t it, so don’t hold your breath, lol)

Or maybe he’s a Time Lord and Summerset Apartments is his TARDIS, and he just took you from alternate dimensions as babies.

You said to guess, you didn’t say they had to be informed. XD