To be honest the asian “Hero’s Journey” trope is highly influenced by “Journey to the West”, while the west is mostly influenced by the Homer’s counterpart.
IE: Easter narractive: MC party grows!
Wester narractive: MC party shrinks!
Tee hee
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I’ve uploaded a new version with an extra fight! Full changelog in the original post.
Win/loss data: I forced 10,000 computers to randomly choose options to see what the fight results would be. For Eric, we had 8788 losses and 1212 wins. For Katie, we had 5931 losses and 4069 wins. No doubt a tactical player could achieve a better win ratio.
I would really appreciate feedback because I’ve changed things significantly.
Questions:
- Any gaps in the Katie fight? It’s significantly more complicated mechanically than the Eric fight. I tested it extensively but might have missed something.
- Is the Katie fight too short? Too long? Just right? Do you prefer this one or Eric’s?
- Is the content warning necessary? Does it feel intrusive?
- General feedback on how the prose reads
Thanks and enjoy!
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There might be some bug during Eric’s fight. One day I’ve trained and used proper tactic for the victory. Next day I replay demo for fun, using the same strategy and I lost. Would you investigate this issue, please?
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Thank you! There’s some randomness in the fights. I’m still considering whether to have randomness in the fights or not.
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If you’ve played the latest version, I’d really appreciate hearing about these. It directly helps because it influences how future content will be like.
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Just so I understand better, define “randomness in fights” please.
Your stats are used to calculate your “fight skill” for each fight. This is a number from 0 to 5, higher is better.
Each time there is a choice, you roll a random number from 0 to 5, which is added to your fight skill. This number is then compared to the difficulty level of the fight action, leading to success/failure outcomes. Sometimes it’s success/partial success/failure.
e.g. a very difficult action, like trying to counter-punch Katie when she’s doing her ultimate move, would have a difficulty level of 7. Something like focusing fully on defense might be a difficulty level of 3 or 4.
I’ve considered changing the die roll so it would be a narrow range, like 0 to 3 (and adjusting the difficulty checks). Also considered removing it completely, but I don’t know if that would be fun.
Once you read my view of this mechanic, I also would like to know yours (though if I’m being too intrusive - I apologise. Let me know - and I’ll stop).
“Randomness in fights” sounds like a novelty. Though if this has got something to do with variable success of dodging Eric’s energy attack - there’s a certain risk of this mechanic:
- Like I described previously, I’ve trained “Stat 1” and “Stat 2” for the first time - it worked for the win. On replay I do the same - it fails. Regardless of changes (like boosting “Stat 1” twice) - nothing works. Hence, the replayability is out of question with frustrated audience due to unwinnable fights.
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Are there ROs? If so can we get a list? Im interested in the pressure point. She’s sweet and weird. Hurt my hurt how that adorable psychopath is alone with no friends. I hope to get more down after becoming more adept in our career instead wasting a week or 2 before a match. And maybe some street fights when we get some winds under our belt. And I agree with @BlackNick if my strongest stat steadily get beat bc of random rolls then whats the point of the stats if everything is random no matter how you train randomness just beeats it regardless. Now if Eric is supposed to win regardless bc its character development/ rivalry. I honestly don’t think eric is a good first match. Like mc is like few months into training with ability to use ki and our first opponent is a seasoned fighter who can also use ki like thats a rigged match from the start. Theres no posable way mc puts up even a decent fight against him unless he was holding back like crazy. those ki attacks should oneshot mc easy. Even if they have a talent for fighting. Even my crazy gf’s fighting style is to much against mc with only one fight so far. Mc doesnt have experience in ki usage or defense. Maybe start mc off with a 5-1 wins first 5 against more adept fights not highly experienced just more fights then loses to a fighter with some experience in ki attacks. Sets up erics entrance and him asking to train with him and one option is to teach mc ki then and sets up the added resistance to my crazy gf’s pp technique.
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Awesome feedback! Thank you @Blacknick. And @kizzygm I really love your ideas too. I didn’t think of this but I will include it, because it’s a great suggestion.
Here’s what I thought: the randomness is something that I carried over from RPG games. In RPG games, maybe you “roll against your Perception, at difficulty 12”. But various comments seem to show that in Choicescript games, people expect no randomness. So it would be a plain stat check, if it is higher, then it passes. If it is lower, then it fails. That totally works, and it is actually easier to code!
It’ll take a bit of time to think about the appropriate numbers, but I will do this for next update.
Are there ROs? If so can we get a list? Im interested in the pressure point. She’s sweet and weird. Hurt my hurt how that adorable psychopath is alone with no friends.
There are 8 characters total, of which we’ve seen Eric, Katie, and Vicky. All three of these are ROs. Three of the other characters are ROs. The other two will not be ROs—one is uninterested, one is underage.
(Also, Katie is by far the most requested RO?!? Interesting, not that I mind…)
I will find some way to add that the MC has a few fights before Eric. The Eric fight IS supposed to be very likely that you lose, since Eric is much stronger than you.
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@dozendietcokesaday So, here I am, in a depessive slump, having a bad day at work and everything, and then I stumbled for the second time upon this game after seeing it recieved a recent update.
I will admit, the first time I played the demo, it didn’t impress me. I thought it was generic, and something didn’t click in your writing. I was bored. And so I more or less skimmed through the rest of the content and took my leave with no comment.
Something made me decide to give it a more fair shake.
I have come away with finally seeing the potential here.
Unlike Path of Martial Arts, Below The Skyline is set in modern times with noticeably less fantasy elements. If Path’s setting is more akin to Dragon Ball, I would liken this setting to the Street Fighter universe.
The first fighter, Eric, is a Ryu-like karate adept with Force powers. Our second opponent, Katie, is a nerdy pressure point spammer in aerobics gear.
This game so far is flashy, idealistic, and isn’t afraid to wear its influences on its sleeves. None of these things hold it back, but it needs to be careful not to end up a love letter with no meaningful substance.
With all of that being said, I have some feedback on the game from a martial arts lover and former boxer. Because another thing that sets this game apart from Path is that it embraces a greater degree of realism with the combat.
And I think that’s more fun. Can you tell I’m a Virtua Fighter fan, yet?
Anywho, let’s start with the writing. Thus far, I detected no significant problems with the narration or prose itself. Mainly, in diction.
I think this game can take a few notes from sports IFs: help people understand the art you are representing. Just the basics. What I mean is: don’t be afraid to include some technical terms to switch flow up and keep people interested and give them something else to think about. Educate us on boxing a little. The answer is not overly long and term-heavy exposition. Merely, weave them through the dialogue and narration. When an explanation is required, keep it simple. Short.
But don’t exclude the terms completely. Feel free to familiarize people with what shoulder rolls or parries or slips are. I bring this up because I do think it will spice up your writing nicely.
Next, I want to talk about the techniques the MC uses. Even in amateur boxing, you are taught way more than the MC uses. Even with only three months of training, the MC should not be spamming Panicked Block. You can show how novice we are while still incorporating more boxing techniques. If we are good enough to stand our own against guys wielding ki energy or whatnot, then we should be able to do stuff like this (and these aren’t considered expert-only techniques):
What is there already is nice, however. The MC can do advancing jabs and intercepting crosses and smaller combinations and you explain things well. The boxing at present is not bad nor necessarily lacking, these is meant to be food for thought on how to improve it.
Now that I’m sharing the material I have, I might as well demonstrate my favorite three-punch combo that I would love to see; the jab-body jab-cross, seen in this short:
When performed with speed, this would be a great simple combo to test an opponent’s defense or even counter with.
Now that I think about it, the MC really should have fell back on check hooks and overhands in the Katie fight. An eventual fight against another boxer would be pretty interesting.
All in all, I think this has heart, and is definitely an inspired take. As for the other aspects, such as the ROs, none stood out to me as particularly interesting yet. Katie is a little intriguing, and I enjoyed her whimsy, but Eric seems more defined, currently.
Am hoping to see someone with a bit more grit, soon.
Alrighty, that’s about all I had. I’ll retreat back to my lil’ cave.
For now.
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The only way i can see the random rolls being good is mc has the 50% stats where the skill is good but not great so it has a chance of failing. And characters like Eric is a 100% lost until we get closer to his level. The first time i played i won and it was weird bc he had ki and was better and had a kung-fu master. Replayed after a few days and i just couldn’t win and realized the game updated 
so i like that we cant win at our level but he’s to soon. He will be a great rival/friend for my mc and im interested in knowing more about vicky and the girl who was bothering Eric. And katie is adorable 
hurts how she so lonely and values mc for putting with her cute weirdness
Will there be different fighting styles? Dont wanna just do boxing in a country known for kung-fu. Im trying to hit a mofo with a crushing dragon claw or a piercing tiger fang.
I wanna see some Thai boxing! Let me catch dudes in a Plum and drill 'em with knees. Or perform nasty kick checks.
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Will there be a possibility to earn a Ringname?
@Lucha_Markre thank you so much for your heartwarming comments. I am spending a LOT of time rewriting. I searched online for “good creative writing tips” and applied it. It feels great to know that you noticed the big difference between the previous writing and now!
I am going to watch more videos about boxing techniques. I only practice Muay Thai, and not pure boxing, so my boxing knowledge is more limited. I’ll definitely include more boxing techniques—I just didn’t know about a lot of these! Very useful links.
Good to know! I can increase MC’s skill level a bit.
The MC’s style will remain boxing based, but they will be able to learn one skill or technique from each character that they spend time with. The idea is that you have a limited amount of actions, so you can’t spend time with all characters and need to choose which ones to get the skills you want.
It’s still too early and we can’t experience this yet!! I will write faster.
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I’ll take Muay Thai. Just was hoping it wasnt pure American boxing. Muay thai is top 5 favorite styles for me
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I’ve been thinking on this for a few days have you considered giving us the option of choosing to use random rolls or not?
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Here’s what I’ve done. It’s not uploaded yet, only on my own computer
- Eric is now a brash fighter with one year of experience and a flashy, showy style. He has incredible wins and careless losses when he shows off too much or gets cocky.
- ONLY the Eric fight has randomness. The randomness reflect’s Eric’s variable performance, not the PC.
- All other fights will have no randomness.
The reason, mechanically, is that you only have 2 training options before the Eric fight. It makes it too deterministic if there’s no randomness. But for all the other fights, you’ve been able to customize your PC’s training enough that there is no need for additional randomness.
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How would people feel if there was no randomness in the Eric fight, but it was unbeatable? That’s another way we could do things.
Edit: I figured out a way for all fights to have no randomness. Will ship the fix when I put out the next chapter.
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Like the new fight mechanics much more fluid and feels like choice makes a difference
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