A Tale of Heroes (WIP) - 224k words. Updated 29/01/2025!

So the time has come to deal with the dreaded Forlorn chat is happening.

Let me know your thoughts on it! :^)

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Well I survived it in one piece. He was surprising calm about it and even admitted he should give her space. We got more insight about whats going on with them but im interested what exactly did Aki give back to him that was so important to both of them. I was expecting to get murdered for making a move on her but hes more concerned about her safety and happiness. Never thought he feared our arrival with Lat changing things.

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Forlorn i have misjudged you.

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Just to let ya know, there’s a mistake that when you’re picking up Mars, there’s a line where he’s talking but the mistake is that it says Nova was talking

To make it easier for you to find it

You’re, uh, quite the thorough fella," Lat notes, closing the trunk. “Why all those preparations? It’s just a short drive.” “Oh, force of habit,” Nova replies, a little embarrassed.

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Fixed in my copy, thanks for bringing it up. I’ll be updating it in a few days alongside the rest of the feedback. :grin:

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My feedback is that I wanted more :joy: but I am also interested in the Founders

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Our old friends, Stoffs

It’s “in your corner”. Also, I didn’t ss it, but a couple screens back Lat says “clear up your name”; the more common form is “clear your name”. I don’t think I’ve ever heard “clear up your name”, but I’m not sure it’s an invalid phrasing.

Calling Dark Star “a capable hero” will never cease to make me lol.

And I bet now you’re sorry I didn’t land on a couple. :stuck_out_tongue:

There’s something weird here. I think there’s a word missing before the parenthentical.

I don’t think there’s multiples of the man.

It forever befuddles me that there are people that read interactions like these and think, “yeah, I’m going to romance this woman and it’s definitely going to work out.”

I keep forgetting that the PCA is a thing, and whenever I’m reminded it exists my brain hurts with how incredibly fucking stupidly asinine it is. And then it blocks it out again in an attempt to protect itself.

I again petition for “choo-choo, motherfucker!” to be our signature finishing move.

Missing opening quotation marks:

There’s two minor consistency issues, that I’m not sure are actually worth taking the time to uniformise, but I’m mentioning them anyway because I have proofreader’s brain (terrible malaise): sometimes you capitalise “supers” and sometimes you don’t, and at least once you put an apostrophe before “Wing”.

The “i” is capitalised:

It’s actually really funny how I despise Dark Star more with every appearance he makes. At one point you’d think it’d top out, but nope.

Aaaaaaand she jinxed it. I still lol at “Jacob Myth”, btw. :smile:

I’m going to go out on a very thick limb here and say, “everyone?”.

This paragraph break shouldn’t be here.

Capitalised “i”

I swear to god I’ve played this game like 20 times and only NOW did it click for me why Lat and Nova are smiling and Aki isn’t. :man_facepalming:

I am, by the way, still befuddled how it did not occur to anyone whatsoever to have a chat with Vambrace’s lyricist and find out how exactly the fuck they know something that shows up in a single, obscure book and is contrary to accepted history, by actual historians.

The prophecy: the only thing the Broken King gives a damn about is a way to bring the Queen back from the dead.
The cult: surely if we make enough noise he’ll stop all that nonsense and come do what we want, right?
I bet it has absolutely never occurred to these people that if they want the BK’s attention they should be doing their level best to find a way to bring the Queen back, not… whatever this is. Though if they ever tell him that thing about how they think the Queen has been holding him back and he should let her stay dead, I want to watch. Through the Hubble Telescope, and not one inch closer.

Did you get them for deliberately putting civilians in danger for a photo op, you piece of shit?

The expression is “out of your mouth”. Were you purposefully hyperbolising the metaphor?

Should be a comma.

This sort of disconnects a bit. May I suggest you switch “Is everything ok?” with “Is something wrong?”?

It’s all I have time for today, boooo. :frowning: Next time: thangs.

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It’s time for

Thangs

Seeker is wise in the ways of not being suicidally stupid.

Narrator: He will not.
Shin’s great, btw.

“advise”

I’m still pissed off at Mars for sitting on this, btw.

In a wardrobe somewhere, spontaneous combustion could be observed.

This paragraph break shouldn’t be here. It feels similar to the other paragraph break that shouldn’t be there, so maybe it has something to do how you code who shows up? :thinking:

Disconnect. If the first bit is “Seeker asked to be there.” then the other four bits should be "did"s. If the last four bits are (as they are) "would"s, then the first bit should be something like “Seeker would like to be there.”

I’m not your fucking secretary, dude.

He does, because Gloria is a power-hungry glory hound piece of shit who cannot grasp the notion that someone with power would rather be left alone instead of wielding it over other people. This is the clearest “keep the fuck out of my Taj Mahal” warning that could be sent. If the BK wanted to threaten Gloria, he’d level Washington and drive the creature’s skull through the nearest wall, and then make it home in time for breakfast.

I believe this is supposed to be “unaware”.

The biggest proof that the BK does not give a single fuck about the Cult is that if he were, he’d have heard this, and then the Cult would cease to be a problem. The craters would be annoying to deal with, though.

“Or are you telling him to”, maybe? Either way, the sentence doesn’t work as written.

Man, I remember the first time I read this scene and I felt so goddamn vindicated in my eternal, permanent, and from-the-get-go dislike of Gloria. And like three pages later we learn he has a hand on the Sentinel Program equivalent.

“Do you happen to have more batshit to your insane?” is absolutely gold phrasing. I love it.

Two tomorrows.

Yes, yes, this woman is definitely romantically available and romancing her will surely be met with success, yes, yes.

I want, once again, to have it on record that I ABSOLUTELY object letting Gloria aboard the Wing, and we should sweep it for bugs afterwards. Or possibly melt it down to slag and build a new one. I’m sure Nova will be glad for the opportunity to implement some improvements.

And therefore saving everyone’s lives.

And after the movies, I’m now entering uncharted territory. New stuff, yay!

I see being a DELIGHT runs in the family. -.-

Unlike the others, this option doesn’t go away when selected:

I think this is supposed to be “elbows”.

This talk has gone well. I am… surprised? Susp- No, I’m not suspicious, Forlorn would rip my head off my shoulders before he’d lie to me. Guess now I just have to be worried about the OTHER family meeting.

You, uh, start with the OUTSIDE cutlery, right? :grimacing:

HOW DARE YOU CLIFFHANGER ME WITH AN AKI-FOCUSED SCENE, CUEVAS?! (otoh, I’m pretty sure this is not what people mean when they say they want a partner that will fight for them, but I’ll take it).

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*set Ignis + 5

Oh, no. This fight has nothing to do with the player, so you’re fine.

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Damn right I am. :smirk:

Joke aside (no matter how reality-accurate it might be, which of course it 100% is :stuck_out_tongue: ), is there something I’m feedbacking/commenting on that you’re not interested in? Anything I’m NOT feedbacking/commenting on that you ARE?

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The update mostly concerns Mars and Forlorn, so I was mostly looking for reactions and thoughts on those two, basically.

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No new thoughts on Forlorn, BUT I found it a bit weird that in none of Mars’s new scenes (the tower, the car trip, their room) we can bring up the fact that he knew, at least to a degree, what Gloria was deliberately planning, especially because not that long before we can make an internal comment, I believe it was, about it. There’s more details on him (as opposed to details on him doing his job), which is great (even if at one point he talks about baseball and my eyes glassed over and I zoned out :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: ).

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What bothered me about the Mars conversations was how steamrolled PC gets by Lat. Particularly if paying someone who’s interested in Mars as an LI it felt as if a lot of that interaction was PC getting stepped on before s/he could make the same or similar comments or ask the same or similar questions.

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The duel does come across as ritualistic, with an interesting detail where Aki issues it as an individual (“I”), and Forlorn accepts it as a multitude (“We”). Earlier, Forlorn directly tells an Akimancer, “you are entirely unable to understand the multitude that she is underneath her presentation” (right after alluding to him and Aki probably being aliens. Or us—Other You—being an alien. Or both). It’s not much of a stretch to treat Forlorn’s words as literal, given that we know people can contain literal multitudes (see for reference the many voices in our head back in Chapter 5). Whatever Aki is doing here, it doesn’t seem to be in her capacity as some multitude.

Aki still identifying herself as Aki and Forlorn accepting that in the Founder’s name (singular, in contrast to the multitudinous Founders that await) is a transparent way to keep hiding her real name from us, but her addition of “Nago” does make one wonder whether the codename has additional meaning for Aki and Forlorn’s people, because it suggests she’s not just using it as shorthand. Also makes you wonder when Forlorn became Forlorn. Either way, “Aki” is the presentation, and there’s got to be power in identifying as that.


Mars is great, and not being able to turn off his powers is nightmarish in a really mundane way. Sets the tone for a lot of Mars’s life. The detail of wearing headphones as Aki and Forlorn square up is cute: those small details are one of ATOH’s strengths.

I support cutting the Nova section. Best to cut it out if it wasn’t working, and now we have a much more relaxed cooldown from the traumatic terrorist attack baited by the US president. Though it does make Nico into a spoiler now.

You feel Other You settle down - having started to thrash and pound on your mind from the moment Forlorn grabbed you

Other You is still peak.

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Mars is a rat liar lol. The difference in his convo between a high and low charm MC is something, basically every other answer and reaction is in some way deceptive.

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I can see to adding or reworking some stuff for a player romancing Mars, yeah. It’s easy coding-wise and would give the MC a larger chance to interact with their chosen partner.

-is a last name.

Not telling which parent’s.

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I had… 35% Charm, IIRC. What does that count as? Either way, I request details.

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Yikes. I wonder what that’s all leading up to.

SHIT. I just realised that I’m not charming.

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