A Specter Over Kilerth [1 Chapter, 10k Words]

Feedback:

I’ve tried out most of your games, and I have to say, I honestly don’t understand why there are all so similar. It makes it extremely hard to get into anything new that you write.

You start out in a small medieval fantasy town as a novice magic user, and are thrust into an adventure featuring either ghosts or demons as the main threat/villain. You always have almost the same exact list of spells/powers every time. You are always some kind of village reject/outcast and it always has something to do with your abilities/family, which is always kept vague. The love interests always consist of the same generic archetypes. You have to either expel a demon/deity/ghost at the end. They even all have similar titles. Yet you never make an Enchanter feel any different at all from a Magician, a Mage, or even a Necromancer. To me, all of your newer works feel like rewrites of your original Demon Hunter books.

Now, someone might bring up another author like Lucid who also has his own signature style, but see, every single Lucid game feels completely different, even when he returns to his signature genre, fantasy. He’s adept at making these big, stat-based sim games where you can expect to embrace a completely different role than the last, even though he’s relied on a specific core set of mechanics for years. His most recent game, Life of a Starship Captain, contains every single Lucid trope from the past five or so years. But it still manages to be mostly fresh, because he picks a new setting and plot every time and takes good advantage of it.

I feel like you’re trying to do the same thing, Sam, but in my opinion, you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum. All of your recent games are too samey. Necromancer feels no different than this or Burden. Or again, your original books.

Sadly, Mysteries feels that way, too. It feels…uninspired. Like you keep trying to nail a very specific story but no telling will ever turn out good enough. Now, this new installment could be a turnaround, but that’s what I’m saying. Not from the small slice you’ve already put out. I’ve never read your work before recently, but, having binged through good chunks of your library of work, its clear this problem seems to have persisted. I’m honestly shocked no one has pointed it out before. You’re obviously not the only one on here with this problem, but with how many books you put out, I thought it needed to be stated.

Because of this saminess across your body of work, it also makes things impeccably boring. I feel like I’ve done it all before, every time. I’m a DnD player who loves when I get the ability to be a mage or a wizard. A game like Necromancer should have been right up my alley, a day one purchase, even. But my I had no confidence in the quality, and I was proven right in the end. It’s all the same cynical, moody fantasy trot with another cynical, moody, outcasted character who wields the same magic and same stats with the same characters in the same exact setting every single time.

In my opinion, you never change the setting, MC, romance, magic, origin story, roles, villains, monsters, genre, nothing. And so it is impeccably tiresome to even test.

This is all just my honest thoughts, of course, meant to encourage and uplift, not break down. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck.

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I appreciate your feedback, @Lucha_Markre. I think that my later games, starting with The Magician’s Burden and The Mage’s Adventures, but mostly with NNN and my current WIPs, are what I was trying to go for with my trilogy. I wrote Trial of the Demon Hunter when I was 17, and although there are a few things I like about those older books, they were rushed, and I was very inexperienced.

So, The Magician’s Burden was admittedly trying to pick up where they left off. Then, The Mage’s Adventures was a companion novel to TMB, sharing the same characters but in a different universe. So, those five stories do share a lot, and it’s intentional. From there it’s whether or not the reader likes the style or not.

The author also has to consider if writing several similar books is wise, even if they have some kind of behind the scenes reasoning for it. I would say variety is generally better, and I certainly plan on writing stories with more variety in the future, but for better or worse, writing this more homogenous group of works is the course I’ve taken over the course of my career.

What about my more recent works then, like The Nascent Necromancer and my WIPs? I do agree that they share similarities, and those are similarities I’m very aware of as I write my stories. One thing about my stories, especially the more recent ones, is that they have some moderate amount of lore to them, but I don’t usually outright explain the lore in the narrative.

I feel that there’s a small enough amount of it and it’s intuitive enough that I can sort of let the reader figure things out as they read rather than bogging them down with info dumps about lore that’s not super amazing or anything anyways. For example: mage, enchanter, and magician? They’re actually all the same kind of magic user, just called by different terms depending on their location or time period, or even by the person who’s referring to them.

Each of them get their magic the same way, by random magical discharge from the Netherworld. Sorcerers, and subgroups like necromancers, share the same kind of magic, but they just get it in a much different way, and have more and more powerful spells. My point is that there are nuances between magic types, and the lore is consistent.

However, again, I also need to consider whether the reader really cares about any of my behind the scenes reasoning. Regardless of the logic to why things may seem or be similar, if those similarities make the stories not as entertaining, that’s something I definitely need to think about going forward.

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To be fair, like 3 of them are supposed to be alternate universes of each others.

I’ve always loved this WIP…so glad you are back to working on it! Magician’s Burden has always been at the top of my favs, and I can already tell this will follow suit. Cheers!

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I own and have played/read The Magician’s Burden and The Mage’s Adventure all the way through(The Magician’s Burden several times) and have also tried the demo for The Nascent Necromancer and one of the Demon Hunter HGs(I’ve forgotten which) and also this WIP and the WIP for The Cruel Guardians. I agree that The Magician’s Burden and The Mage’s Adventure are quite similar in many ways and I guess there are also some, less pronounced, similarities between those two and The Nascent Necromancer, although it’s hard to tell how pronounced any similarities are from just one playthrough of the demo. To me it seemed like the similarities, at least between those first two HGs was because there was a story that you really wanted to tell and that was maybe even really close to your heart and that you were never completely satisfied with the way it turned out and so kept trying again to get it excactly the way you wanted it to be. And so I was never that bothered by the similarities as such. But I was a bit sad thay you never wrote a true follow-up to what I thought was a good HG apart from the fact that it ended on a still to be resolved-cliffhanger and instead writing what felt to me like a weaker retread with a twist ending that could have been interesting in regular book, but in an IF made the story before that feel kind of meaningless.

Anyway, there are many things I like about your style. I think you are good at making NPCs who are vivid and colorful and fun to interact with and, although they don’t necessarily feel that deep, are often quite easy to care about. One of those NPCs, Mabellin from The Magician’s Burden is still one of my favorite ROs from a COG or HG, possibly even the favorite, I like her combination of strength, protectiveness,sweetness and playfulness. I also like the way they often feel slice of life-ish, that the MC is nearly always some kind of mage character and also think that your stat system is good. I have to admit that I’m not personally a big fan of the way that demons often play a big part in your HGs nor of the parts where they get really edgy. But for me the positives far outweigh the negatives and the Cruel Guardins WIP and both versions of this WIP look really promising
and also seem to signal that you continue to improve as a writer. I look forward to the finished product of both those WIPs. Although this WIP is currently quite short, one thing I can tell you is that I like how you now can customise the spells that your MC can cast in great detail and in that way, customise the abilities of your MC even more. I hope this change will remain in the final HG as well.

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I like the rewritten chapter 1 more than the previous version. It feels like a better start of the story to me

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me: trying to write

snophie:

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Minor update:

  • I’ve changed the title to something I like a lot better, A Specter Over Kilerth
  • Since this story is a mystery, I’ll be handling stats a lot differently than with my other stories. I won’t display stat requirements for choices, won’t give stat notifications, and will hide choices that you can’t select.

Also, after a lot of brainstorming, I’m very happy with the new outline I have, and feeling excited about working on this story again. I’ve come to the decision that A Specter Over Kilerth will be a standalone story. Although I had some vague ideas for a trilogy before, I think the story fits perfectly on its own. Plus, that will allow me to put more branching in without worrying about creating too many branches in sequels.

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Uh, I just started watching Adventure Time and realized I basically wrote Marceline without knowing it :sweat_smile:

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The demo link takes u to The Cruel Guardians

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Thanks. I think I must have accidentally updated the demo with the wrong files. That’s fixed now.

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Hi samuel! I’ve been a silent lurker for a long time, and after reading nascent necromancer, and delving a bit more into your other works I must say you’ve become one of my favourite authors in CoG. I do have a couple of questions.
I managed to find a work of yours, not yet released of course called enchanter’s misery. but the thing is, you said that it was renamed to a spectreover kiloth. I’ve clicked the link in the demo of your first post, but is it the correct one? I wasn’t sure, since the enchanter’s misery, or at least, the page calling itself enchanter’s misery seemed much more polished, but it could be just me.

Thank you.

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Thank you, I really appreciate that.

I’m glad you pointed this out: The Enchanter’s Misery was an old version of this story that had much more content. Turns out I forgot to take it down. :sweat_smile:

Hmm…it appears I did delete it, but it’s still up somehow. I’ll reach out to Dashingdon.

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Hi.

yeah. the current demo only has one chapter so far? at least, that’s what I’ve gathered from playing it a bit. yeah, thanks for the quick reply to my message. I’ve been reading your works since trial of the demon hunter. Do you have plans to continue foundation of nightmares? I really liked the potential of that.

Thanks.

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Yeah, there’s only one chapter so far for this new version; I wasn’t happy with the old version and decided to rewrite the first few chapters.

Since you mention it, I do have concrete plans to make some big updates to my Demon Hunter trilogy in the next couple years to bring the series to a close.

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