Having revisited the demo and found a few typos and a couple of things that I would like clarified. I’ll write a different post regarding the new content and my thoughts and feelings.
Not sure how best to present my findings, hopefully it’s clear what is a typo.
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A dozen constables jump into the carriage, with two of the mirror-armoured agents. The agents hold guns, pointed in your general direction, while the constables move between your beaten crew holding small black sacks. One of the sniffers approaches, a stern glint in his eyes. WIthout uttering a word, he pulls a sack over your face.
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In the mes, you line up to fill your mess tin with the latest offering of stew. Taking your seat on a bench at the edge of a long table, it seems the Roachpedes are the subject of much of the discussion of the other rank-and-file troopers. Particularly Vin, who attracts a number of scowls.
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Inside the cramped space is a rather plush bed, shelves of books and a dark wooden desk where a plate of vegetables and meat steams. “We have several agricultural and barnyard quarterdecks, though we rely on regular deliveries for the finest fare. Be thankful, the lower decks east spore and mould slop, or worm stew,” explains the half- elf. “Now, rest and be ready tomorrow morning. There’s a shower in the corner and you’ll find the water warm and invigorating.”
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Lord Evagrey swallows, the uncertainty disappearing from his face. “You do have spunk. An impressive amount of spunk. I don;t think we want to let you go. We simply must have you.”
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The women, gaunt and slightly elven of features, holds a clipboard with a thick wad of paper attached.
First meeting Avalina.
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Sure enough, at a pub called The Whistle and Hiss, tucked into a corner of one of the mid-decks, a collection of dishevelled, grubby waifs, with the occasional brute in heavy armour, gather. Nearby vents and spigots rattle and screech above a busy evening’s chatter. Though ether orbs may spy on the bustle, only something very close could pick up individual conversations, which is why the meeting of Raochpedes goes unheard by those with spiteful intent. At least, this is the plan… Also, this is a good chance to put your newest all of wages to good use for the cause of drinking, feasting and general revelry.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but to me this doesn’t sound right (I could be wrong).
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Rumours follow the Lord of Despair, Lord Ash-Commodore Evagrey. The Commodore himself is seen as tough, strong and stoic, though weak to the charms of exotic beauty and lustful magic. It is said that a dark elf bewitched him for a night over twenty years ago on the maiden expedition of the Despair’s Demise. The Commodore’s children, twins with a Dark Elf heritage, court intrigue with every their step and whisper.
This is easy for you. You simply fill envelopes with outrageous tales of the Evagreys. Stamping them with seals, you slot them into the missive boxes for others to deliver. Though the higher ranks of the crawler may never openly talk about such scandalous things, you know they’ll be thinking about them. It becomes increasingly common to hear whispers about the many outrageous deeds, real of imagined, of the Evagreys. Support for them is dissipating.
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Your part in the scheme is simple. Having smooth talked your way into the post rooms of the upper decks, where missives are hastily typed and sealed, you slip the folded copies of the single sheet paper into envelopes. Now, these will be delivered by all of the Dispatchers, who have all srown to never check the contents of messages. Hopefully, this means your fellow Dispatchers will escape suspicion while you spread the word to people of great influence.
Eventually, someone will find the press and smash it to pieces. Until them, every time you hear crew folk gossip about the various stories printed in the, among other names, ‘Basilsk’s Eye,’ you really feel like you are making a mark.
Was there meant to be a choice for the player to title their papers so it would read something like printed in the (paper title), among other names, or is ‘Basilisk’s Eye’ supposed to come after the? If the former is the case, I’m calling my paper “The Crawler Express”.
Side note, while writing this section I noticed that Basilisk was missing a second i.
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You speak about King and Country, stirring the homesickness which resides in every Roachpede’s soul. “Down in the underdecks, I’ve met SIster Cath. She courts the Mother, in service to the crown. She’s made a real home there, down in the sweat and the filth, because she knows that our best chance of remaking our lives is to serve King Adri II.”
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One night, you lead a bunch of Roachpedes onto a warehouse deck. All of you wear goggles and filter masks, though you make doubly sure than nothing records your activities. Summoning boggarts, you direct them to pass over the ether orbs orbs, rendering their feeds into ghostly blurs. No one will be able to identify your band!
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“I have no problems with these helmets,” says Tinkworth. “They glory the Basilisk and add to the efficiency of my engine mates. Lincon’s crew does outwork yours, Rumble.”
Was it meant to say glorify?
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Grunting a laugh, Vin’s eyes flare. “They know that messing with one of us means messing with all of us. And they’ve seen me beat gits blooding in sparring.” He takes back the flask and gulps a drop before leaning closer.
Did Vin mean to say bloody or does blooding have a different meaning?
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You stir the rebel which resides in every Roachpede’s soul. “There’s something in the air, mates. Can you feel it? Everywhere folsk sneer at the mention of the Evagreys and the King. What if we took on the same stance and tipped the scales? You think we’d be able to improve our lot?”
Have some pancakes!