Would you be interested in romancing an asexual character?

Hi! This is my first post! I hope I’m doing this right.
I was wondering if you think it would be hard for players to romance an asexual character? I’m writing a romantic game with some spicy scenes, but maybe because it was initially conceived as a linear story -not a ramified one- the love interests have their own preferences (demisexual, allosexual and asexual but alloromantic) and therefore, the MC must play considering this, as you would in real life.
I haven’t played that many games, but I have the feeling that in most of them the romanceable characters are always adapting to the MC -which is totally understandable and I’m always open to that. But that leaves me wondering: is there any room for my dear asexual character? Do you know some stories that feature a character like them?
Note: of course all these characters would be required to be technically pansexual, as I’d like to create a very customizable MC. And it’s very possible that in the story you’ll be able to customize the characters’ genders as well, but these preferences are a small but crucial part of the storytelling, as well as a part of their identities.


Yes. Romance doesn’t always need to start because of sexual attraction nor does it always need to result in sex. Not that ace people don’t engage in sex (the spectrum for asexuality is pretty broad) but it is a different kind of romance so that makes it interesting.

One of the characters in the IF I’m writing is asexual but I don’t know of characters that are officially Ace in other stories. I’ve heard people refer to Kaz Brekker from Shadow and Bone as asexual but I’ve never watched that (or read Six of Crows). Sherlock Holmes is also considered asexual due to his lack of sexual desires (he’s the purely uninterested side of Ace).


Asexual romanceable characters aren’t in the majority in ChoiceScript games but there are definitely plenty of people who enjoy them. I would encourage you to keep the character as envisioned. You don’t need to have the character adapt themselves to accommodate every PC (or player) preference!

Regarding recommendations - I don’t usually recommend things I made but I wrote an aro-ace character in Crème de la Crème with whom the PC can have a queerplatonic relationship, and an alloromantic ace character in Royal Affairs whom the PC can romance. I don’t consider them “perfect” but I have had nice feedback from ace players. There is a romanceable ace character in Stars Arisen too who I have heard good things about but I haven’t reached that far in the game yet :sweat_smile:


I believe you should write the story to reflect your vision.

With your vision in mind, I do not think it will be “hard” for players to romance an asexual character.

I encourage you to write the romance options how you believe they should fit within your story. You can always get feedback, if you are worried if something is working or not.

It truly seems, just by what you wrote in your original post, that you have a firm and deep grasp on what you need to do to execute all your characters in relation to the story, the other characters, and most of all the MC.


Being demi myself, I’m always glad to encounter asexual characters - especially asexual characters who can be romanced. I’d like it even more if these romances weren’t necessarily platonic, as is too often the case with asexual characters. (Play Vivian’s romance route in Stars Arisen for one of the best and most realistic asexual characters I’ve ever encountered in any medium.)


not really, no. Im not saying sex is everything in the relationship (the hypersexualization of romantic relationships and any and all intimacy in general and its consequences have been disastrous for the human race) but its still a vital part of it. it could be fine if theres at least basic physical intimacy in it (hugging/kissing/cuddling/etc.) but if they dont even want to do that then Im out.


No. (My rl partner is asexual) Just make sure they’re upfront about being asexual/ not interested in sex so the romance doesn’t create false expectations with the player.


Some readers might not be interested in romancing an ace character, but there are also ace people playing IF (I can know being one of them). I really liked how Vivian was handled in Star Arisen, already mentioned by @AletheiaKnights. It reminded me a lot of my own relationship so it felt very familiar and real to me, maybe check that one out? I feel like the most interesting characters to encounter in IF are the ones that feel real, thus coming with there own personal likes and dislikes. So personally I would say write them as you intended to. Beside a relationship is more than just physical. I would recommend to give the ace character special scenes to shine a light on those. Or maybe be a bit philosophical? Being in an ace-relationship whilst not being ace yourself does come with some questions regarding differences in sexual needs and how to deal with those. It would be interesting to read some conversations on how to deal with the differences between two people in a relationship in that regard. Good luck with your story.


I second this.


Personally, I wouldn’t be interested in romancing an asexual character. Even if the game doesn’t have sex scenes per se, I still love sexual tension and little moments like that.

But go for it! I also don’t romance female ROs usually and that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write them! Write what you want.

If you really want to see what most people feel like, I would suggest making a poll. People feel more comfortable voting than commenting in many cases. You’ll get way more numbers.


I am ace and I enjoy ace characters! It makes me feel I am not the only one in the world who feels this way.
I think your characters should be built as you envision them, that makes the story rich. It’s fun we get to choose how we feel about them, but that’s all, they are who they are.



Thank you for responding! I actually thought about doing a poll but then I didn’t know how to do it :sweat_smile:

Like several others, I think it sounds like a good idea, and that you should write the characters the way that you see them. Personally, I wouldn’t be averse to romance an asexual character; I could very well see myself roleplaying a character that was ace themselves. Perhaps it wouldn’t be my first choice, but if I like a game, I tend to replay it with different main characters to try out different things.


I think it would be sort of cool. The way most romances are treated in games of tv usually annoy me. It is like the ‘win’ condition is having sex. Oh this is the last boss/scene? We better have sex for the first time and tell each other we love each other!

So having something focused more on the relationship side of things.


Speaking strictly in terms of player interest, I’ve written an ace character who’s not up for sex in the timeline of the game (Min in Heroes of Myth) and an ace character who is up for sex in the timeline of the game (Vivian in Stars Arisen, and I really appreciate the love he’s getting here!) and I’ve never had the sense that a lot of players were turned off to romancing either of them as a result.


Me personally, yes! One of my ROs is asexual and that isn’t changing. There’s no “oh well maaaybe”. Nah. I’d like to see more of them in IFs!


One thing that’s sort of missing from this discussion is that, in the context of your game, you don’t have to sell the player on romancing an asexual character. You have to sell them on romancing Alexandria, who’s super sarcastic, plays tennis, has red hair, and isn’t sure she’s interested in anything more than kissing. Or Joe, who is studious, an ambivert, uses a wheelchair sometimes, collects postcards, and wants a purely platonic partnership. Or Taylor, who has the quirkiest fashion sense, loves dogs, knows the words to every song in every Broadway musical, and doesn’t crave sex themself, but would love to do what makes you feel good. A character, who isn’t (or at least shouldn’t be) defined exclusively or even primarily by their sexuality or lack thereof. I bet there are some people who can’t imagine wanting to romance a generic ace character who would be willing to accept Alexandria’s limitations in order to get to spend the second half of the game flirtatiously teasing each other and making out now and then.


As an asexual, I would definitely romance an asexual character, assuming they are written competently and have a personality I find interesting.

That said, I imagine this to be a very tricky topic considering what most people assume asexuality to be: Never having/wanting sex. But some aces have, and some aces want – and that does not make them any less ace in my book. Similarly, some aces are very interested in sex from a theoretical standpoint because, if you have been “weird” about something for your entire life, why wouldn’t you research it? Similarly, I have met many aces who were curious about kink because, if any concept of sex is strange to you, why would kink, fetish, etc. be any different? It’s all weird in its own way, regardless of whether it’s missionary or not.

To come back to my original thought: It might be difficult to explore such – to me, interesting – nuances because some people would probably question the character’s asexuality and/or the writer’s agenda. When is a character not “ace enough” anymore? In which way do we gatekeep the “ace experience”? Would people balk at the idea of an ace novelist who writes erotic fiction? Or an ace character who decides to sleep with their partner because they want to make them feel good? An ace character who has sex simply because they enjoy the sensations, not because they feel the attraction?

Stopping right here because I’m not sure this is helpful at all. :sweat_smile:


I’d think that wouldn’t be a big deal for most but I guess there’s some dissenting opinions here. Given I’m basically sex-repulsed I guess I’m somewhat biased in my thinking. I’d be more understanding of having difficulties with an aromantic character* since that’s more intrinsic to the route than sex is. Either way, I’d say for sure do it if you feel it’s right for the character. Even if most people weren’t okay with it (and that seems to not at all be the case) it’s still good to have representation and to make the story you’re wanting.

*Yes there can be a “romance” route with an aro person, there’s even a series I like that does it and handles it as I think it ought to be (Superstition on itch, for anyone curious). I find it kinda difficult at times due to just how alloromantic I am, especially since that character is very sex-driven (making us total opposites), but it’s totally doable, kinda working out to be queerplatonic.

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