Would you be interested in "romancing" an aromantic character?

Probably not, at least not as a “canon”/first run, as I find reciprocrated romance important to me. However, as this thread has shown, there is interest in that kind of route, and you do you in writing! :slight_smile:

Yes, absolutely! A touch-averse aro might show their love differently!

I think I would still allow the player to make those moves (ie; hand holding), and for the LI to then explain that they aren’t very comfortable with that kind of touch and have a proper conversation about it, but other than that I agree with everything you’ve said!

To be honest, I didn’t really have a particular character in mind :sweat_smile:. I was just being general, to cover all bases; but now that I think of it, a very professional character that has trouble being casual learning to accept more friendly touch from people they care a lot about would be cool!(So the occasional awkward hug. Stiff hugs are so endearing, idk why; something about making the effort despite inexperience because you care that much.) And also allows for the very funny situation of greeting eachother with handshakes instead of like a kiss or something :joy:.

2 Likes

I’m trying to understand… Regardless, if you feel your capable of writing that then write it. Maybe you could show the ones who don’t understand it what you mean through your story.

A lot of people are saying that if I feel like writing it I should write it, so I’ll take that advice!

I… don’t really understand what this question’s asking :sweat_smile:? I assumed the point of a relationship was. y’know. the relationship? You can have a sweet lovey-dovey relationship without the “I feel romantic towards you” part. Like- the point of the relationship (caring about the other(s), wanting to be near them, wanting to be a part of their life,) doesn’t just… go away because one or all are aro? Is there something else that’s the PointTM about relationships that I don’t understand; it’d help if you told me, because, y’know, I’m not very qualified to speak on romance, haha.

2 Likes

I would be interested in a game where that is the entire premise so that I can understand what that looks like.

I’m demi IRL, I don’t even consider relationships until after a period of really getting into someone’s headspace and developing an emotional connection and then sometimes that lights the spark and at that point I’m all about romance and physical affection with that person and -that- is where it suddenly has the potential to become a “relationship” in my head.

If I’m going through all of that and there’s no romantic interest in them that ever develops, I consider them a really good friend, but for me “romance” is sort of the cornerstone of forming an exclusive partnership.

Like, if I had a really solid connection with someone that wasn’t romantic, I could see moving in together to cut expenses (I’ve had plenty of friends as roommates with no romantic component), doing favors, spending time together, helping them reach their goals, etc. I’ve done all of that, that’s what friendship is to me.

I can’t really grasp the idea of joining into an exclusive relationship with someone who was aro/ace in my own life. I don’t understand the benefits of such a relationship that a friendship couldn’t accomplish that would still allow me to find a partner who could connect with me on a romantic and physical level. I feel like a relationship where one partner has needs the other can’t meet and the relationship itself prevents those needs from being fulfilled elsewhere is… abusive? I feel like that is insensitive to say, but I don’t understand what an aro/ace gets out of the arrangement either.

But I’d love to see it in action and figure out what pieces I’m missing, get some perspective.

8 Likes

VERY valid concerns/points; I will say, exclusivity isn’t necessarily assumed-- I specified that it was if you so wished it, which is a small distinction but still a distinction dsfhkjdfs. A lot of allos actually don’t require reciprocated romantic feelings to get into a relationship; and they can still connect on a physical level, if not a romantic one.

It’s difficult to explain how they’re different from friendships, considering each one is different and defined by the people that. Y’know- are actually in the relationship, but sometimes you’re aro and you have a partner who’s allo, and they ask for monogamy in the sense that, y’know, you don’t. Kiss other people, copulate with other people, etc; and you’re okay with that, since you don’t particularly desire it with others anyways! Sometimes it’s just Like That, y’know? People want to be together regardless of exactly what kind of attraction they feel for the other, and if the same level of “Hi, I care about you and desire to be emotionally close to you” is present, then… why not? (which also answers your question about what the aro/ace gets out of it; sometimes it’s really just as simple as “I Like You a Lot and think being closer/expressing my love for you in your love language would be super neat because you’re so important to me :D”)

And yeah, a situation where one or all of the participants aren’t getting certain needs fulfilled is NOT ideal, but (and I’m pretty sure you know this already, but I’d like to type it anyways because these paragraphs need some kind of closure,) it’s also not the sole way these relationships Are. Thank you so much for your response, though; it’s helped a lot with some things that have been sitting in the back of my head about this as well!

4 Likes

you said you’re demi, demisexuality is part of the asexuality spectrum

Abusive is a… strong word to say the least. It’s fine to say you don’t see the difference between a friendship and a relationship/partnership with someone who’s ace or aro, but to call it abusive is inaccurate at best, I’d say.

6 Likes

Yes, I don’t experience attraction until I’ve already developed a close bond. I wouldn’t enter into an exclusive relationship with someone unless and until that attraction existed. There’s a difference between not having romantic/sexual feelings/desire at all and having conditional romantic/sexual feelings/desire. That’s why it’s called a spectrum, there’s a wide range of experiences along it.

2 Likes

I should add then, that a non-exclusive relationship isn’t as difficult to wrap my head around. If you aren’t interested in romance or sex, but you don’t mind if your partner seeks that elsewhere, it’s more easily understandable to me. I just came in to express my interest in understanding the perspective relating specifically to an exclusive relationship where one partner not just experiences but also values those parts of a relationship and is with someone who doesn’t and/or doesn’t want to.

1 Like

you didn’t understand what I was trying to point out so let’s just leave it at that

Honestly, I’d be up for it. Not in a “obstacle you have to overcome/accept to be together” way (like Lex in Balance of Superpower and Javi in Royal Affairs), but in a “character who is fundamentally unromancable, but who MC still has feelings for.”

By fundamentally unromancable, I’m talking about the same type of thing when characters have set sexual orientations, and you can’t have a straight romance if they are LGBT, or vice-versa. Aromantics should be the same, you simply shouldn’t be able to have a romance with them.

Now, as for MC having feelings for a character who would never reciprocate them, I feel that it’d be super interesting to see, at least it’s something I’ve never seen done before - at lenght at least, throught the whole game, not something that lasts for one page. I think it’d be a super interesting dynamic, that would make us feel for MC. Isn’t loving someone who doesn’t love you back one of the most common things in the world? I say yes to it in games, and while it’s not the only way, characters aromantic are a great way to deliver that experience/dynamic.

Getting situations where the RO is in a pinch and MC goes in to save them like a white knight in shining armor, and the RO is maybe thankful, but unable to wrap their heads around the why, or understanding it full well but not knowing how to handle it, and them developing a sense of appreciation for MC, as a friend or ally maybe, and MC coming to see understand the actual value of that bond, even if it’s not romantic like he sought… I think there’s much potential for interesting situations, dynamics, and character growth, so I’d say yes to that.

A character who you can sleep with and who doesn’t catch feelings for you in practice is the same as a friend-with-benefits/casual fling, and there being many of those, I’m not that interested there.

1 Like

I’d definitely be interested in an aro path because I think not having those feelings but choosing to meet a partner halfway is actually an amazing way to show appreciation for someone.
Personally I’m very romantic but ace so I’d like hugs and kisses but as long as it’s clear the character cares about the MC I can adjust my expectations and will still have a good experience in my playthrough.
And that aside, it would be nice to have more diverse orientations in games.
I’m always so pleased to find someone like myself in a game, or have the opportunity to play in a way that rings true for me and doesn’t make me uncomfortable, so an aromantic path would be more visible representation for aromantic people and I think that’s something everyone should get to have.

6 Likes