Hi!! I’m really happy that you’re enjoying this story . Yeah, there’s no flirty intention at all from Kyle, he genuinly tries to be a good guy XD (I hope he manages to, he really cares a lot for all the little adventurer brats that come to his shop!)
I just finished reading the demo and find it very interesting and enjoyable ! I can’t wait to see the rest of your world !
Please continue on !
Woah, great update!
I love S more and more, and V has me intrigued too!
Now, I’m still waiting to meet A, as they’re clearly the RO I’ll be pursuing, but I guess they’ll be the last one to appear - well, not to appear, since they already did, but the last one MC’ll meet.
One of the things I most enjoyed in this update were the… uh… “bird PoVs”?
It’s the first time I see such a feature, really!
It was so… strange - but in a good way. Added that sort of fairytale / myth feeling to the story, in a way.
I was yet again too lazy to keep track of typos or other similar errors - I’ll probably wait for one more chapter for that.
One small thing that got me confused:
I’m curious… When MC and S are in the woods, and S goes away to look for wood, and then there’s a scream… Was it intended for that option (“I need to check the surroundings, quickly: Shoren might be in danger and I need to find him!!”) to lower the “peaceful” stat?
It doesn’t make much sense to me since I’d say wanting to act in order to protect a friend isn’t an agressive choice…
It may have been intended, but I dunno, seems weird to me so at least I’d love to know the reasoning
It’s no big deal though!
So yeah, great update! Now I’ll be waiting for more.
Thank you, I’m really happy to hear that!
Thanks, S and V are glad to hear that just as much as I am!! And yes, A is the last one to join your group, yet it won’t take long for them to finally appear!!
Wow, I’m so happy you liked it: I was a bit worried for that eccentric feauture I’ve decided to add, yet I also love it and want to keep my little birds flying around and bringing us interesting stories!!
About that thing
No, that’s something I had to fix, thank you! It was there because at first I thought about combining different traits into one, and explain it on the stat page… but then I left that idea aside as it was quite confusing, so yeah, that was something I forgot to eliminate XD
Thank you so much, I don’t how how I missed that!! xxx
This was really interesting, a great start. Looking forward to meeting A too.
One small thing I noticed was after you choose your race as half-elf it says “mother never talked about him” and “mother always talked with such devotion about him” in the same paragraph, just seemed a bit incongruous.
Otherwise, super enjoyable and I’m looking forward to seeing what comes next. Also, loved the birdies!
Thank you!! I’m very happy that you’ve enjoyed it, and my thanks for noticing that contradiction!! I’ve already fixed it , so now it should be much more logical and fluid.
Happy to hear people liked the birdies They’re doing a great job out there, bringing us news!!
Hi! I loved the demo! So far S has my heart, and I love the birdie POVs. One thing though, I was also kinda confused by the section with Kyle when you used the word “purred”, because usually it’s used to denote a more seductive tone of voice, which I don’t think is what you were going for. I dunno though, and I loved the demo otherwise!
Hi! Thank you, I’m really happy to hear that S is also glad you like them!! They try their best xx
(Birdies, yay! I’m really glad you likes them, hehe)
And yes, you’re not the first one to tell me that, so I’ve just change it for another verb XD As a non-native English speaker, these kind of things pass unnoticed for me, as sometimes they even seem innocent for me in translation, so thanks for the remark to those who told me that!
Do not worry about it. Even us native English speakers screw up the translation from time to time. Particularly me.
Thanks for the support! I work hard to make my writing as correct as possible, and one of my friends check my grammar before I publish a chapter. However, I’m still very thankful for all the messages that point out such errors, ESPECIALLY because you explain me why it sounds wrong: that way is so much easier for me to keep that in mind and learn new things to improve my project
Premise looks interesting but that shoren description kinda worrying. Its repel me from trying. Not really fan of unconditional attachment.
Anyway good luck
Hi! Thank you for reading my story, I’m happy you found the premise interesting. Obviously, we all have different tastes, so I completely understand your disinterest in S!! However, the ROs in SoJ are quite diverse in terms of character, and some of them are literally the opposite to others. Thus, I hope someday you’ll decide to give it another shot, and perhaps you’ll find an RO that will get you interested!!
Oh man…Seile was soo annoying! My poor grumpy MC who must endure her company
S has a crush on MC or what?
But don’t take my complaining personally. S seems to be good character even though they didn’t win my sympathy. I wonder what’s wrong with them because I usually like such cute ROs. Anyway, it’s great WIP, I really like the idea and the world you have created. I’m looking forward to the next updates <3
Wow, thank you, I’m so happy to hear you liked the world and the WIP!!
Don’t worry, I don’t take it personally: the four ROs are meant to be quite diverse, and what’s more, I want to let them evolve through their journey with your MC into quite different behaviours, depending on the chosen path.
Right now, Seile IS quite sticky and active, and I totally can see why someone wouldn’t like her (especially with a grumpy MC ): I’m aiming to make their characters complex, so you perceive them differently depending on your interactions, and I like that it already has different impacts on people!! With S, the negative route is quite… complicated. But perhaps you’ll find it interesting in the future … or you’ll find it interesting as a non-RO relationship…
The other ROs are on their way, so I hope you’ll find someone you fall in love with - none of them are planned as ‘cute’ as S, but some of them are definitely quite more… calm than this old acquaintance . And some will even share your MC’s attitude towards such behaviour!!
By the way, I love grumpy MC’s and I tend to create at least one myself for each game: hopefully I’ll get to give you enough flexibility to develop your character as you want them to be
Also, no, S doesn’t have a crush on the MC: the MC is their one and only friend, and right now they just need their company, as well as a break outside Capital. You’ll figure it out throughout the journey… hopefully
As far as I’m concerned, I actually really love S, but I rarely select characters like them as RO. So basically, I love the best friend (and sometimes almost sibling) relationship MC has with that kind of RO, but I don’t see them as actual ROs, if that makes sense?
Usually, some very specific circumstances must surround said character for me to see them as RO.
Thank you for your lovely comment!! I’m really happy you like S, and I completely understand what you mean – I also normally don’t pick such characters as ROs, so yeah, I know the feeling! I hope you’ll find the friendship with S fulfilling, too: I plan to make friendship or even rivarly just as important as a relationship, as SoJ is focused on your interactions with your companions that don’t have to be always romantic!!
SMALL UPDATE - MAP OF THERANIA NOW AVAILABLE IN-GAME!!
Hi everyone, I hope you’re having a lovely summer!! Mine surely is being interesting, although quite busy - never thought staying home would still mean so many things to do XD.
Work on Chapter 3 is now a bit slower, but it still hasn’t been a day that I would have spent without working on something for my book, and I’m very excited to bring you the next part of SoJ as soon as I can. Moreover, I already have something to tell you.
I’ve made a map!!
I’ve been saying in my Tumblr that I was working on a map for in-game use, and I’ve finally finished - more than a month of work has resulted in something that I’m very proud of, specially as an amateur that put all her love and patience in making a ‘good’ drawing. It represents the landscape of the continent, as well as it contains the main spots that one must know in Therania - including cities from Hero, Vannais and even Lost! From Capital to Celest, the map represents the current divisions of land and territory, and shows the state of the world that your Adventurers explore.
I was really excited to show this to you, and I hope you’ll like it - it’s not a big update, but it’s something that - I hope - will instigate your curiosity and interest in my work, as it’s a small spoiler of all the content that I have in mind for my future writing!!
You can find the map in-game following the link in my first post, as I cannot post images in this forum just yet.
That okay you will get there eventually. One step at a time is what I always say.