[WIP] Evenfall

Hi! I’m Mei, and I’m a long time lurker here. This is the first game I made, with an idea that have been staying in my head for a while. Currently it’s about (~30%, 3 Chapters, 20k Words) done. Hopefully I can update it at least once a month, but there maybe unexpected things coming up, so I’m unsure.

Here is some info:

Summary

You were the child of Lucia - the Voice of Anwar, and the most respected woman in the city-state of Ikril. You had been hoping to receive a mark just like your mother’s - a sigh that your god Anwar gifted to his favoured people. On your twentieth birthday, however, you received the mark from his greatest enemy, Zytrix, instead. You also learned that your mother was dead on that fateful day. With no one to protect you, you were sentenced to imprisonment under the command of your mother’s long-time rival, Lord Gabriel Ravenflight. Fortunately, your mother’s friend, Thalia Silverbrook, broke you out of prison because she promised your mother to look after you. In a strange turn of fate, you have met two other people too: Bumra, the disciple of Zytrix, and Amrakas, a Beastfolk who believed in balance of gods. Now you embarked on a journey together. During it, you can defeat dangerous foes, navigate the volatile relationship among your companions, and uncover ultimate secrets of the gods. Perhaps, if you play your cards right, you could end up deciding their fates.

Companions

Their introductions may contain spoilers. Please read at your own caution.

  • Thalia Silverbrook

Your mother’s loyal friend and a true follower of Anwar, the Lord of Light. She was a few years older than you, and two of you had been good friends when she was your mother’s body guard. After hearing that you were in prison, she came rescuing you, but upon discovering that you actually bore Zytrix’s mark, she was torn. On one hand, she cared for you, but on the other, you were the enemy of her god. Still, she decided not to kill you outright, but to accomany you to an adventure. Perhaps you actions could help her make up her mind.

  • Lord Gabriel Ravenflight

Your mother’s staunch opponent throughout the years when she was the Voice. Although his father was a Voice before your mother’s reign, he was not gifted with Anwar’s mark. Many called him Gabriel the Giftless as a way to mock him. He threw you in prison the moment he discovered you bore Zytrix’s mark, although later he claimed that it was just business. He was clever but ruthless in his ways, and he was very bitter when it came to the gods.

  • Bumra

She was the disciple of Zytrix - Mistress of Night, and Anwar’s greatest rival. She respected raw power and clever scheming. Thalia and her were each other’s throats often, for they supported rival gods. Bumra despised the weak and the disciplined. When she wanted something, she would just get it, by hook or by crook. She was also a very beautiful woman, and her beauty was often used as a mean for an end.

  • Amrakas

One of the Beastfolks you rescued from a pack of wolves. He was surprisingly gentle for a giant, but upon knowing his story, you understood why. He thought himself a failure, and it was not without a good reason. Amrakas believed in the balance of both gods, as shadow did not exist without light, and vice-versa. He disliked Gabriel instantly because of his heathen ways.

Additional notes: yes, the companions are ROs, but be warned that they are all strong-willed people, so they do not always do what you want. It is possible that your belief and theirs do not align. They change their stance only if you play your cards right :wink:

Change Log
  • fixed some scene/label bugs 25/5/21

Things to do (for prologue - chapter 2):

  • heathen/devout stats and related choices
  • add diplomatic options
  • overall editing

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/play/therosesingrey/evenfall/mygame/
Thank you for reading, and please send me feedbacks if you can!

118 Likes

Is this mean, for example, you can only romance the RO with certain personalities which aligned their own, or you can still managed to romance them but it’d be a little difficult for those who are not suit the RO’s interest well?

I will try to make the ROs romamceable even if you don’t believe the same thing as they do, but no promises yet. And yes, it is planned that the romance is more difficult if you and your RO’s interests do not align. However, if you play it right, you can still convince them to support you even though they have a different opinion.

5 Likes

_ch2_gabriel line 46: invalid indent, expected at least one ‘choice’

_ch2_bumra line 206: bad label scene _ch2_gabriel

Error here when choosing the third option


Error in the second option here as well

It’s an interesting concept to be between two different religions and I like the characters so far, but I think the faithful/devout thing could be fleshed out a bit more. When it comes to the faith choices, at the beginning I made my character not faithful to Anwar and it asked me if I would change faiths away from Anwar later. In this case my character already didn’t care about him, but that choice didn’t really transfer. Also when I said I don’t care about Anwar my character started voicing her support for Zytrix to Bumra. In my mind neither of the gods have really earned my faith yet so would there be an option to not care about either for now? Also, there’s a glitch right before the Gabriel scene so it can’t begin. Interesting WIP so far I’ll keep an eye on it!

It’s an interesting story so far, but unfortunately I had a bug that prevented me from finishing the current version.
It was when talking to Bumra in the forest: “_ch2_bumra line 206: bad label scene _ch2_gabriel”

I would also suggest you activate the save plug-in, since restarting from scratch every single time can be annoying, especially when a WIP has bugs.

With that being said…

I think the game would benefit from more varied options when dealing with Thalia and Gabriel:

For example, asking Thalia to be less agressive, and generally speaking for the MC to be more peaceful. For example, by the beginning of the forest content, the three choices when talking to Gabriel are:

  • “You deserve it. After what you have done to me.”
  • “How does it feel to be the one trapped now?”
  • Let Thalia talk.

Two agressive choices, and one where the MC does nothing. But no peaceful option.

Also, as a follow up of that specific example, even if MC let’s Thalia deal with Gabriel, on the next page it’s MC making demands instead of Thalia. It was her idea from the very start, and my MC only followed her and let her deal with it, so it seems strange than suddenly it’s him who’s being threatening towards Gabriel.
I’m mostly talking about that part:
“We will stay here, in the Whispering Woods, until Lady Silverbrook fetched someone reputable in the city to act as witness. Then you must confess that you have framed me. Then, we could let you live, and go back to the city.”

Generally speaking, I would love to have a meeker MC, something that would be quite fitting with his very kind personnality, but really, the instances I mentionned above were the ones that truly bothered me.

I have also seen all sorts of typos and errors of that sort, but English isn’t my native language, so I’m not really the best person to do extensive corrections in that regard, sorry!

Now, I still enjoyed the game eh! I’ll finish the current version when you manage to fix the bug that prevented me from going on! It may need some polishing, but I like the idea a lot.

Also, about that:

I think it’ll be important to actually be able to romance characters of different beliefs, yeah (as in, who don’t have the same beliefs as MC) - be it despite the different beliefs, or by convincing them MC is right. Otherwise, players will be forced to have a MC who behaves a certain way if they want to romance a certain character, which nullifies the choice of romance.
For example, my MC is extremely devout, and loyal only to Anwar. But the RO I’m interested in is Gabriel. There is no way in the world my MC would renounce to his faith, so obviously he’ll try to convince Gabriel that having faith is a good thing.


@AMER1CANN1NJA09 @Hector_Lopez @Agatha_Cristine_Joly
Thank you so much for spotting the errors. I think now they are fixed.

@aSimpleBird
Yes, I think there should be a choice there for not choosing either god. I was thinking that devout refers to believing in gods in general while heathen refers to believing in none of them. I’ll fix them. And Gabriel’s scene should fine by now. Thanks for the feedback!

@Konoi
Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll look into how to implement the save-plug in.
Your suggestion to implement a meeker MC is an interesting one, and I will see how I can add some choices. I originally thought player would prefer an MC who was angry at him for his tricks, so I only included sarcastic/agrressive responses. Now that you mentioned it, I think I’ll implement diplomatic options, too.

As for the errors, I will try to correct them soon. I’m also not an native speaker, so I’d probably miss out some of them still.

Otherwise, players will be forced to have a MC who behaves a certain way if they want to romance a certain character, which nullifies the choice of romance.

I think you make a good point here! Thank you, and I will think of ways to implement romance with ROs with different goals.

3 Likes

Worked for me! Thanks! I could finish the WIP now!

Thank you, that’s great!
Aside from it simply being a possible personality for MC, it’s also worth noting that a MC who told Thalia this whole situation may be a test by Anwar can still think so. Basically, they may consider Gabriel doing what he did was the way Anwar used to put them to test. And thus, they wouldn’t even have reasons to be angry at Gabriel, since it all was the will of their god.

That is great too!
I’ll go back to the Gabriel case again! Now that I could do his scene, I went for the route where MC accused him of stealing the gods’ powers, and then they talked about the trilemma. And MC made Gabriel pause and think about it, in the end - clearly, MC’s goal here is to make Gabriel find faith again.
And well, in these circumstances, I don’t see why romance wouldn’t be possible along the path. Either it will work, and I would assume Gabriel could even be thankful to MC. Or it won’t work, but they’d certainly understand each other better if they continue talking like that, and from understanding each other, they may also accept the other thinks in a different way, and that’s okay too. Two people with different beliefs can learn to respect each other, and the other’s beliefs, and in these cases there is no reason love couldn’t exist.
Not to mention, if MC was forced to align with the RO’s beliefs in order for romance to work, that would actually be… unfair? Because the RO could sway MC to their beliefs (and MC would have to do so for the romance to work), but on the other hand, MC wouldn’t be allowed to try and sway the RO to their own beliefs and have any hope for love.

But anyway, I was just explaining my reasoning more in detail! I’m really happy you’ll see how to implement romances even if goals don’t align!

I really hope MC will manage to convince Gabriel though! Man how I wish for him to actually say sorry to a MC who is an Anwar believer, not only to one who rejects the gods! That is one of my goals! :rofl:

Looks really interesting and exciting. I really like the premise and Bumra is such a cool character already.