I feel similarly, overall, and yes that first interaction with the alchemist personally gives me the ick (in a fresh, unique way compared to how everyone else has acted up to that point). I’m curious to see how much - if at all - the MC can claw their personhood back over the course of the story.
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Yea that’s the problem here, too many grievances to list, too many sin committed, red line crossed to just simply forgive.
If we have relationship bar this probably goes to negative at this point, it would not be far fetch that MC lose faith in humanity, having trust issue and overall paranoid
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If going that way then the question will be, is it worth it? Sure some of then is the RO but is that really necessary? If any it’s other side that need to appeal to MC, they should beg for forgiveness, they’re the one that need to gain MC’s favor.
At this point almost all card is held by MC, the only thing they held is that spell that contain MC.
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I don’t care much about considering forgiveness for the unforgivable. I’ve not forgiven people in my own life over less than this (relatively speaking).
So, I didn’t mean that the MC should forgive the people who’ve treated them thus far as little more than a monster or a useful tool. Rather, I hope there will be some small ways that the MC can assert a bit of personal autonomy, for their own sake. The world around them will continue to assert their inhumanity and their current mission assumes that they were and are no more than a weapon to combat other corruptants. The MC is still a prisoner even - the walls are gone but they’re still shackled.
I appreciated the moment where the MC can consider what life might look like after the mission is complete; despite everything, my apathetic MC (who is mostly going along with things because maybe he’ll die somewhere along the way) can still choose to hope for some kind of life where he is free. That is defiance, however small. Choices like this, where the MC can reaffirm within themselves the value of their own life, are just nice to have.
I imagine the other characters will just have to reckon (or not) with the MC’s humanity over the course of the game. That will be interesting to see, too.
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Our own brain can shackle and imprison us as much as physical ones. The torment a brain can do could also out do any physical.
Yeah, the torment of imprisonment really causes me to want to know if its just more than, eyeballs shine bright!
If its just cause I survived something like an attack or defensive offense or similar. They are really a-holes and I would at that point consider slaughtering them. Well, at least the Council that were the whole reason of imprisonment. Killing it’s sword is useless if it doesn’t do anything on it’s own.
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I read your WIP within just two days and must say, that I really enjoy it! The MC’s situation is a fascinating starting point and makes for a great predicament!
I love the many different dialogue options, allowing us to deal with the trauma and express it in many different ways.
From the descriptions in your post I wasn’t so sure about the characters, but reading about them in the story gave me a really good feeling for them. I really like how different all of the companions are and am curious how the romance paths will develop. They seem very alive and realistic.
Sam seems to work great as best friend and as RO, although I prefer to see him as more of a brother. And I really hope to be capable of getting their sibling vibe back (in due time of course) while still pursuing another RO.
Btw: How much can I actually divide my attention in general? Or would you suggest sticking to one character and always choosing their scenes?
Anyway. The other characters are really interesting as well. I like that Everix isn’t always so shy, but actually has authority - was quite surprised by that twist. Apart from him, I really adore Hayes and enjoy the flirting with him. But I’m definitely curious to learn more about all of the characters! It’s always a struggle to decide who I want to talk with when given the choice.
Your writing is pleasant to read, but there is one small thing that (at least for me) disrupts the flow of the words: the use of numbers. Might be a personal preference, but my advice to you would be to actually write the numbers - as in writing two instead of 2, for example. Or writing one hundred percent instead of 100%. It’s the way I’m used to from regular books and I’m pretty sure there is a general advice about always writing “short” numbers as words (especially those below twelve). Just my two cents. 
Keep up the good word! I’m excited to read more.
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Glad you enjoyed the work!
How much can I actually divide my attention in general? Or would you suggest sticking to one character and always choosing their scenes?
To answer that, as of right now, I’d recommend sticking with the path of one. However, once I’m done writing this next update, I’m going to review if it wouldn’t make more sense to allow you to speak with multiple people during the morning scene. I will also be weighing the options of allowing the MC to visit each of the ROs, and more once this first ‘mission’ is complete (instead of just one or two).
Thanks for all the helpful feedback. (I’ll for sure go and replace the numbers thing probably for the next update.)
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Personally I think it’s important to have each character in MC’s party to have multiple interaction not only to just 1 or 2 but many at once to have their character opinion and stance laid out/made clearer considering the background ( MC is being detained, tortured, etc ) player might want to hear their defense of this awful treatment, like are they against it, ambivalent about it or outright supporting it, if not outright opinion at least a gist of it, they all should have their opinion about corruptant MC probably want to hear about it, at least their initial impression without MC doing anything.
This people is not MC’s friend or even someone MC recognize anymore, even with people that MC know previously before being tortured.
Interest and motivation of which and who to romance or spend effort to get close should be gained from this interaction not from reading preview description on each RO.
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I concur. I prefer romance partners as I interact. Going based on history time spent beforehand usually wins in most books. This one is not on same level due to history in it.
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Will you leave an option for detached/apathetic PCs to visit no one, even if they’ve indicated a sexual orientation earlier?
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Every PC will have the option of seeing nobody. And the reasons why will include something for an apathetic MC. Potentially, more bold ROs might still come to the MC anyway.
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Nice! One being the Kings kid seems bold enough. Couple others maybe could.
I tend to do a reserved run. As someone who got hit with so much PTSD, becoming reserved myself. I notice that’s true with couple others I know with PTSD, but people vary. It’s good to have bolder friends/family/loved ones to be around sometimes.
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Amazing. I loved how the opening scene was crafted and the flashback to MC and Sam heading for their first mission was crafted, the sense of lingering eldritch horror and its description is mesmerizing and held my apt attention. The worldbuilding and narration throughout was very well crafted, and the immersion was absolutely splendid throughout the story.
The past of the MC paints a very telling picture and shows how much they have gone through as well as how the other main NPCs are intertwined inside the story.
The characters were described well enough and with enough personal traits that they stood out to me unlike some placeholder NPCs, especially H, E and S.
I await to see what further interactions hold in store for us so we can read about the characters more.
Huge potential to be a great read, the angst is very nice, as is the pacing and flow of the story. The visceral picture drawn helps much to throw light on how the world copes with demonic infestations on a personal and community level and that is well established throughout the story.
Keep up the good work, can’t wait to see how it progresses, Ave 
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Poor Maverick 
he’s a person too, and he needs to be treated that WAY not as an it. I was so furious when the
Mother
called him like that. so I’m definitely protecting him 
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I agree. He’s the only character i promise not to fo anything bad. I don’t care if it’s playing favorite. If there’s a sequence where he’s in danger from anyone. i immediately protecting him from from everyone even mc mother
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He’s traumatized so badly 
Took me a moment to remember who Maverick was. The cultist prisoner, right?
Don’t care much for cultists, (almost hate) so that caused me to not pay much attention to him.
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I’m loving this so far, I just want to find out what happens next 
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Am going on a full hate path pure adultered rage am not saying sukuna level when I say hate I mean it AM level of hate
Mybe, in the near future, there’s an AM hate speech reference.
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Why do you act like a monster?
Because I AM I AM!!
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