would be really intresting to know if the wip has a hidden sanity stat , if yes sending our mc to war could get messy for everyone around our mc (depends of course how you play it out)
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Ooh that would be intriguing I love wips with a hidden sanity stat. My mc def has hit the low point of sanity by the point of the party but hides behind a calm occasionally joking mask.
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Hi all,
It looks like the discussion has simmered down now, which is good to see, but just a reminder to continue to focus on the WIP and not on arguing with each other. Drawn-out, circular debates derail threads and are unhelpful to authors. And as ever, if you think a post is breaking a forum rule, flag it rather than engaging.
Thank you.
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Hey! Thank you for reading through the story and giving such a long and detailed feedback!
Yeah, I’m still learning! 
Before this, I hadn’t written anything longer than 1 or 2 thousand words, so I’ll try to improve the text and make it flow better as I go along with the rewrite.
I see how that could be confusing. The character who uses magic to spy on the discussion isn’t Nemio, but Niemon—he has the same name as the MC’s great-grandfather, but he is Iris’s younger brother. He’s around the same age as Julia and Diana (who, by the way, is Julia’s friend, not sister—Julia is the MC’s sister). Niemon and Nemio do share some similarities in attitude, which might have contributed to the mix-up. (or maybe I made a mistake, I’ll have a look)
Well, Nemio is physically imposing, and the MC’s mother is the paranoid type. Plus, he gives off a certain aura that just unsettles most people. But I’ll try to be more precise about this in the rewrite.
Thank you. Yeah, I generally enjoy coding and fixing bugs, but it gets very frustrating when it comes to the indents and how precise you need to be so as not to skip a whole segment :D. Also, I appreciate your help catching these typos, and I’ll correct them soon.
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Don’t worry, go at your own pace. It’s my duty to let you know how to make the story better from a reader’s POV. So, don’t worry about it for now.
Darn, that may be a mistake on my part then. Apologies.
No worries, carry on the good work. Ave.
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Well, I plan to introduce a sanity stat in the rewrite that can be influenced by your choices. For now, there is only a ‘trauma’ stat that tracks how severe the ‘incident’ for the MC was based on the choices made during that part of the story, but it’s not exactly the same.
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I wonder what other hidden stats planned here by author… I wonder that maybe why in my play My MC is treated like she was made of glass or something.
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Ooh, gonna try again with different choices! I like seeing how the characters treat MC differently depending on the choices 
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If there isn’t a crossing the Rubicon “I came, I saw, I conquered.” moment before ordering your foolishly gifted army to take over and kill the Councilor’s moment I’ll be sad.
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I’m a cat person.
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Mood and same I like the fickle almost bitchy attitude of cats lmao. Jokes aside Julia is a good character outside of her puppy personality and I am curious if the Councilors will target her as a kidnap possibility now that the mc is out of the way and at war.
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No, I don’t think they will. They’re already holding you “hostage” in the military and can use your family in a similar way against you while you’re away. They don’t need to kidnap Julia when your family is well aware that you can have “a training accident” and you are well aware that there can be a carriage “accident” back at home.
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This was an unexpectedly more brutal read, even if acceptable for a roman setting.
I like the BG3’s guardian-in-your-head thingy, would it be an RO?
Will praying to the gods mechanic hold significance in the future?
Final POV flip in most recent chapter was a bit confusing. Unless I somehow picked a name for my MC that matched an NPC name in black company - suddenly losing agency over the character felt alienating.
Absolutely bummed that Nemio is not an RO. He’s the most mysterious dude that is clearly much more than a human if his interaction with Erik is anything to go by.
Our MC is an adult, can get conscripted into slaughtering multiple men, but gods forbid him loving one, eh.
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I having a feeling the author will grant such a choice, of loving your enemy 
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Nemio is your guardian and I think twice your age. I also hope I get to romance him! 
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Another awesome update, I really love this story. I especially enjoyed our interactions with the family, though I did unfortunately miss out on meeting Iris because I wanted a moment with Mother.
Speaking of our mother, I wish we could have had the option to say something to her before we leave like we get with Julia. Her giving us the pendant and leaving without MC saying a word to her didn’t sit right with me. I’d have wanted to at least try to reassure her somehow.
P.S. I noticed a slight grammar error in the update. It had to do with using “we’re” in place of “we are” where it doesn’t make sense to do so. I noticed it in two places: when we tell our sister to be brave (2nd page) and when we first arrive in the capital with Zenon.
For example, in the scene with Julia it says, “…but what we’re can’t be defined by simple words” when it should be “we are”. The line of dialogue that follows that, “we’re one soul…” is correct though. (I think it’s based on the word that comes immediately after in the sentence).
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our mc is a kid (13) not a adult so dating your guard who is more than older than our mc would be a bit strange ?
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I love everything so far, a little sad the update doesn’t include more B cuz I honestly like him best. Such a haughty d-bag I must subdue him (even though my mc will always secretly thirst for Nemio, it’s wrong, I get it 
). Anyway, I hope there is not an insanity stat. I don’t want to discuss this much as there have been lengthy discussions about it in other threads, but nothing turns me off faster than an insanity stat. It implies certain choices in life lead to…. Well, insanity. Nothing could be further from the truth and frankly, it makes me more uncomfortable than playing a set character unlike my own or a gendered character I can’t relate to, it’s just so cringe for me. If you do it, I hope it’s an option, not a requirement. Even the word is insulting when trying to convey any mental illness. Tell me I can become a psychopath or a narcissist or some other actually described condition, and maybe I’ll play it, but probably not. If there is an insanity meter, it’s a big clue we are likely describing generic mental illness with a lack of fact or research and leading to a bunch of greyed-out choices, because I’m too “insane” to have an ounce of self-preservation or agency.
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Hey! Thank you for giving it a read!
Not really, since the situation with the man in the MC’s dreams isn’t quite the same as the Emperor in BG3…but he will definitely be an important part of the story. If you’re curious about all the ROs in the first book, you can find them listed in the main post under “The ROs” tab.
For now, it only teaches you about the different gods and gives you the choice of a patron god for your MC. But eventually, yes, although I wouldn’t say it’s very significant to the plot (according to my plans as of now).
There is an explanation for why you’re seeing these POV switches that I cannot reveal yet. Regarding the last POV switch, your MC isn’t actually in that scene, so it sounds like you might have chosen a name for your MC that matches the NPC’s name in the switch. I’ll consider adding something to make it clearer that it’s not your MC without breaking immersion. Don’t worry, I don’t plan on making POV switches in the main story where you lose control of your MC.
Yeah…I know a lot of people would have liked Nemio as an RO. But, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, there’s a reason why Nemio would certainly refuse any advances. Even though he isn’t an RO, the MC can still have a unique dynamic with him, and as the story unfolds, there will be opportunities to discover more about him.
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Hey! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
You can meet Iris during the party as well: just ask Julia if she knows where Iris is (I plan to eventually make meeting Iris during the party more straightforward since she can be easily missed).
Yeah, I understand. Thank you for the suggestion! I plan on expanding some aspects and giving more choices, so I’ll keep this in mind while going along with the rewrite.
Thank you for catching these errors, I’ll correct them soon.
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