I think you’re missing the boat on this one, and even more when you called it lip service.
For many people who grew up not seeing protagonists (of games, stories, movies, etc) who looked like them, the fact that nothing else in a story changes along with your gender/skin color/orientation isn’t a missed opportunity. It’s the whole point.
Most have already got more experience than e.g. this straight cis white male will ever have in putting themselves in other people’s shoes.
If you could understand their desire to be able to play the same damn hero as everyone else (just one who looks like them), I think you’d take a less caustic tone about it…