Word! Invitations to things can make me nervous, because part of me fears that I've missed that someone's interested in me that way…again. To be fair, I have had a few folks respond great when I "came out", but…I've also had some folks respond very badly, where they seemed personally offended that I wasn't interested in sex or romance. And then there are the ones who have their feelings hurt and think I'm bullshitting to let them off lightly… [sighs]
That's a good suggestion.
Sounds fun. Hope it works well with your story.
Who said writers were obligated to include it? I'm not seeing that anywhere in the thread.
Whatever a writer includes or doesn't include in a story—or a game—should stem from the story the writer is trying to tell, not because they've convinced themselves that they can't possibly write it (for whatever reason).
My understanding is that most people function with these things:
- sexual attraction = a desire to have physical intercourse with someone
- romantic attraction = a desire to have emotional intercourse with someone
- libido = a desire to have orgasm
Each item has a scale, with multiple options for what's possible.
- aromantic orientation = you never or rarely have a desire to have emotional intercourse with anyone
- asexual orientation = you never or rarely have a desire to have physical intercourse with anyone
I don't really know of a word for "not having a libido", but that's possible too—and I don't think it necessarily means there's something physically wrong with you (though I think it more often means there is a health issue).
I myself am an aromantic asexual on the extreme end of the scale, where I have never felt attracted to anyone in a romantic or sexual way. To me, even kissing sounds unappealing and potentially unsanitary.
What's it like? It's… It's life without that drive or interest to have sex or romance with someone. Check the links Mirabella posted. I might have intellectual curiosity, but I don't have any drive or urge to try it, myself. If given the choice between a book of erotica and a book of logic puzzles, I'd take the logic puzzles.
In English, "celibacy" is only a lifestyle choice, usually for religious reasons. I am celibate, but that has nothing to do with my orientation. I live with a friend who is also celibate at this time, but she is heterosexual and wants to marry someday.
Being born with male and female anatomy is called "intersex". It's actually fairly common, with 1 in 2,000 people (or thereabouts) being able to qualify. Many situations are mild or only show on a genetic level. (Example: XY females don't know unless they have genetic testing.) In that situation, one gender tends to predominate, but more rarely, a person is effectively both. English doesn't have a set pronoun for that, despite multiple attempts through the years to create one.
No, it's often real, racist trolls. I say that nicely. I just… I have a lot of firsthand, in-person experience with the kind of jerks that people like assuming was just a misunderstanding.
…Even saying that much is coming close to triggering a panic attack, so I can't be any clearer. Sorry.
Ah! A side effect of text's lack of tone. Got it.
I understand why it rubs you the wrong way. There are folks who follow the process of "Where is this? Why is this hidden? Everyone needs to do it!" …and don't see the logic holes there.
I did the same thing in some of my writing, before I realized that I was asexual. (Short version: I was raised to believe that enjoying a guy's company = having a crush on him. My family loves redefining things…)
I'm going to enjoy that.
I don't think it's "difficult" to want some acknowledgement, every so often. But I am admittedly sensitized to that problem, because it has been life-threatening for me.
(Example: I'm highly allergic to strawberries, where even trace amounts in the air from fresh strawberries produces breathing difficulty, and…family put me in multiple situations that set it off, insisted it wasn't that bad, and scolded me for making others feel bad.)