What do you feel you need to improve upon as a writer?


Unfortunately, universal humor is something that’s very hard to accomplish. A lot of people thought The Magician’s Burden was funny, but then there was a significant amount of negative reviews that said it was juvenile or obnoxious.

But I found it amusing that many people are apparently under the illusion that 18 year olds in general are very sophisticated, serious, and polite. :grimacing::grimacing::grimacing:


Character development on a larger scale. I’ve always only been interested in world building because to me it’s what makes an immersive experience, not character development. But it seems important to people so well, I guess that’s a thing. Though I hardly see how and why supportive characters should be getting as much attention and effort as the MC. It’s good to leave some things to imagination.


I can’t understand basic American humor I found it like just a pack of vulgarity and swears that have no sense. If I were in one of those shows that insults fat people or afroamericans or whatever That would be the last they do because my reaction would go to kick them in the jewels Seriously… I can’t stand poo jokes since bullies that attacked my best friend used them to insult him and that.
But i like British humor based in no verbally and the sarcastic humor based in intelligence.

But humor is something untranslated many of Spanish humour masters are only funny for us


there are lol…

just like there is the illusion that older peoples are wiser , until you meet one that act like a teenager still…a teenager with wrinkles that is :rofl:


Don’t get me wrong: there are plenty of sophisticated, polite, and serious young people. (Ahem. :face_with_monocle:) But that’s much less common.



but thats the issue isnt ? I mean…well not an issue , but sort of a norm . Like well , there is such a thing as a say pink flower but its not the norm . just because something is rare…doesn’t mean it doesnt exist . I guess my point is…it would be nice if thing change a bit . shine the spotlight on the rare and uncommon…once in a while . so nothing will go to being a ‘Myth’ because nobody ever speak of such a thing .

its like the news , I’m always told ‘of course there are always bad news! nobody talk about the good one…its boring! who wanna hear about someone being happy and having no problem and everything is dandy!’’ lol I’m like…urgh…I could use some for sure .


I get that for sure. I’d say all my characters are weird as shit in their own ways. Or at least, that’s the goal.


For me, the tough things are staying focussed enough to actually finish something before moving onto the next project and the monotony associated with writing what I call the non-favourite paths. There are certain things that I prefer to write about but in a game where there are choices, there’s a lot of diametrically opposed things to have to write about, and I find those parts tough to complete.


I tend to yada yada over scene transitions.


If it helps, almost every single one of those commas are grammatically incorrect. It’s not that you can’t find a place to end a sentence, it’s that you’re just using commas instead of periods.

The rule for spliced commas is that a comma can’t connect two independent clauses without a conjunction (e.g. and, but, or). You need a semi-colon for that; you can also just end the sentence with a period.

So, your paragraph should look like this:

No, we can’t have the same issue. Commas are a problem. I know I put too many, and when I look back I realize that I have thousands of commas in one sentence. It’s really frustrating. I rarely put a period in sentences, so sometimes my sentences last like two pages. I understand where you’re coming from. I can never find the place to end a sentence.

I also fixed a stray much/many, a stray to/too, and a stray your/you’re. :wink:


My habit is to just have an explicit transition marker like a horizontal rule and end one scene by having a character say one sentence about what they should do then next scene starts with them doing it.


This happens to me a lot, there’s also perfectionism, lack of confidence, narration and other stuff I need to know in writing.

Here’s a sample:


“I won’t leave her, not now”

“We need to or we’ll all die!”

A horde of the living dead keeps on multiplying, attempting to cross the boarders between them and the living, yet, none have succeeded. As soon as the living dead steps on the boarder line, their flesh meets a pair of blade that is skillfully wielded by a young woman who will permanently put them to rest. Truly, the young woman is highly capable of taking down living dead, yet, everyone has their own limit, even for an enhanced human like herself.

See, horrible.


Comes down to personal style. You seem to be focused on the poetics. Feels almost slow motion. Could work really well if done right. You’re trying to get across a horde of undead, and also that one person is fending them off, and also that she is tiring. If you wanted to go super ham on the poetry you could describe little individual details about each zombie she cuts down. That man had a magnum concealed on his hip. That woman’s still in her tennis outfit. That child is carrying a teddy bear. Those two are still in pajamas. Past lives destroyed. You could also briefly mention the difference in her slashes from beginning to end. She starts by making the exact same cut on every zombie like she’s a factory robot, a single slash straight through the neck. But as they start to pile up around her, her slashes become less precise: a cut to the jaw that doesn’t quite go all the way through, a shallow slash across the face that she has to follow up with another strike, a total miss as the zombie stumbles over to her – more and more mistakes pile up and she can’t recover fast enough to mend them.

My style is very different to yours. Lots of onomatopoeia.


Harry holds out a hand for Olly. Olly doesn’t take it. He waits at the bottom of the ladder. Eyes glued to Jackie. She’s backed into a corner. Fifty feet off. Wedged in by the horde.

Olly reloads his gun. Fires into the squirming crowd, three shots, only one downing a zombie. His gun jams. Caked with dirt. He whacks it again and again. Two zombies – old men, limping, their straw hats stuck to their scalps with blood – turn slack-jawed to Olly and stumble toward him.

Harry curses and takes them out with two perfect shots. BANG! BANG! He calls down: “I got three more bullets in my rifle! Let’s go!”

Olly shakes his gun one more time, but it’s done. He slings the gun over his back and draws a machete.

Jackie doesn’t notice. She cuts through a zombie with her dual katanas. Its head falls one way, its legs another. Her perfect cuts are jagged and desperate. Her perfect swords are blunt and bent. She stabs a zombie through the chest but it pushes itself along the blade, grabs her hair, pulls her in close –


One thing I need to do is try and get the dayjob stuff done to the point where I’m not worn out by the time I’m home. I’ve got a couple of very understanding collaborators, but I also would understand them for being pissed at me. I know I’m lucky to have them.


It sounds odd but I think one of my biggest problems is never remembering simple obvious details. Street names for example, little things that lend authenticity. I have difficulty remembering anything I’m not interested in.


Oh trust me literally everyone has that problem. The authors who keep continuity don’t do it because they can remember simple obvious details, it is because they take notes.


I think your writing has so much potential! The way you write about the living and the dead is poetic! I hope to read about the women with the pair of blades one day :slight_smile:


Honestly, aside from commas, pluralization, and apparent autocorrect error boarders vs. borders that’s pretty much how I’d summarize a cyborg with duel swords fending off a zombie apocolypse and that sounds like a plan.

Main thing I’d specifically note is that I think you should remove the commas after yet; while I’m not exactly an expert in grammar generally I consider commas to separate parts of a sentence. In those sentences “yet” is just a transition into the second part rather than an independent part.


I’m too clinical. I think I write a bit like I’m explaining the procedure of the scene. Writing in second person makes it worse, especially struggling to not start every sentence with ‘You’.


Besides my tendency to procrastinate and trying to fight my inner editor in the middle of writing?

I struggle with descriptions. I’d rather draw my settings than describe the hills and forests, what my character is wearing (I know nothing about clothes at all), or whatever smell is there. I mean, I know too much detail is bad, but I just have trouble adding a shade of purple in my prose.

Fortunately, simple is best for the current POV I’m writing, but it’s something I can improve upon. Maybe writing in second and third person POV too, now that I think about it. I default to first person usually.

The other thing I want to work on is developing new characters, (especially adults :stuck_out_tongue:) since I need a fairly big cast of supporting characters. Most of my current characters are developed enough that they can talk in my head all day, but it takes me weeks or months to warm up to a new character that might only appear for a chapter or two (especially if they have a different personality from what I usually write).

I also have problems with outlining. I’m getting better, but I figured that I work better as a plantser. As much as I want to outline in detail, knowing every detail actually sucks the fun out of writing it for me.

Oh, and names. Has anyone even mentioned naming stuff yet? I can’t write or develop a character at all if they don’t even have a placeholder name. I suck at names, although for some reason nicknames are no problem for me. I think all my characters have at least one. I don’t care if it’s silly or stupid, everyone gets one. :smile: