Walls of Natrun [150k words] [Updated June 30th]

I read the story, and I like it.

I’m just waiting until there are more updates before replaying.

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Elvira in the newest update is… oh my god… >_<

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I’ll tell you when that happens.

Yeah, I’ll fix that in the next update, hopefully to be released this week.

I doubt that. All research and precedent shows that COGites generally don’t care for science fiction while buying fantasy like hot cakes. Even advertising the game as science-fantasy (which it is) feels risky, as people might just click away immediately upon seeing the word “science”.

Feel free to offer some anyway, if you have any remarks or complaints. It keeps the thread going.

Technically, it’s the second-newest update, since the most recent one focuses on Sergi and Perun. That said, I definitely enjoyed writing Elvira’s scenes for Chapter Three, and I’m now wary of giving her preferential treatment as an RO.

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im now imaging a dead Omeg writing on this forum from either heaven or hell {most likely hell} that he sadly {not} died of whatever stuff he died from

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How do you get that scene?

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I just wanted to say. I read Saturnine several times (can’t wait for the release) and I suddenly re-remembered you had a project going. Lo and behold, a demo! I thoroughly enjoyed it, I’ll be sure to give some feedback upon repeat playthroughs.

Please don’t give up hope, even if it may be less popular project so far! It’s one of those rare resource management/lightly political management IF games where I feel such a strong desire to make it flourish. And then tear it all down later on other playthroughs.

(also, Elvira my love)

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Alliance Update. Two more mini-chapters have been added to the game, expanding the player’s options and increasing the wordcount by about 23,000 words. Now you can enthrall a fearsome dragon, recruit an army of savage renegades, or seek some other ally to aid you in battles to come.

As a side note, I altered the names of several characters & institutions on the Republic’s side, so as to keep them culturally and thematically consistent. I know it can be confusing for repeat readers, but it should aid the story in the long run, since the original terminology was a bit dumb.

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Wow, I love this! I didn’t know it existed until checking the progress of Saturnine, now it’s one of my favourites. If I were to put in my 2c on the subject of more readers, I think my biggest hesitation for reading it, if I didn’t already love Saturnine, would have been that it’s a management game and the first post seems to focus on the management, which I’m not the biggest fan of.

But there’s still a lot of (good) prose! I think maybe emphasizing that it’s still very much a story along with being a management game would attract me more, and maybe some others. I hope you continue it, I love it! :heart:

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Bro you giving me too much of a freedom :sob: I can’t believe the amount of crying and begging I did and why is complementing people lead to relationship loss for god sake Marcia

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Did I give the impression of writing a management game? Because it’s really not one. You don’t start managing resources until chapter three, and even then, there are no true mechanics like in Choice of Rebels or Daria. Just having to decide on your priorities.

You’re probably right that people are scared by the perspective of resource management, ChoiceScript games rarely do that stuff well. I just can’t help implying it with a premise such as this.

That’s how the authoritarian MC imagines the people of Natrun.

I imagine you complimented someone she was currently beefing with. Politics isn’t just about being nice, after all.

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I love that it isn’t one; I still gotta play the last update, but the other day I was thinking if maybe we could get an option to hire mercs or PMCs for our cause? Not only for their forces, but because they’d do good as trainers, specially if we choose less standardized main army options.

I’ll put that idea on my back-burner. It would be a cool expansion to the preparations stage of the war, but I’ve spent almost three months on that already. For the sake of my own sanity, I’d rather advance the story now and add more options later.

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I think if you choose the option for Battle Thralls then if you decide to drop the EMP bomb on the cohort and then choose “Please send them to Natrun as slaves” that should add to your soldiers, and the mental comment is about that instead of just “digging trenches, preparing barricades and reinforcing the walls”.

I said I find no problem with her accent and then suddenly a relationship loss happend what should I have said???things like this keep happening

Oh yeah, I definitely know that now, but it’s the features list in the first post in particular that, to me, emphasizes the management aspects. Again, knowing Saturnine was enough to make me confident it would be a great story, but for someone who doesn’t know your writing, it could easily sound like the focus is management rather than story, which definitely isn’t true. An extra bullet point to the effect of like, “A story of political intrigue and strange forces set amidst a background of war and oppression” or y’know, something like that, could go a long way to conveying that it’s not just lists and numbers.

I’m not trying to criticize, but since you were talking about getting more engagement I thought I’d mention it. If I were brand new to your writing and anything were to scare me off/not attract me, it’d be that.

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I think that would backfire on the MC rather spectacularly. We’re talking about dangerous soldiers with common background, history of desertion and (if you turn against them) a good reason to despise you in particular. They’d be extremely difficult to control, unless I include an option to incorporate them into undead units.

I found the option I think (?) you’re referring to. It has nothing to do with Marcia’s accent and everything to do with her attitude, as the MC explains in a long paragraph of text right before the choice. I also thought Marcia’s explanation for why she disapproves of that dialogue line is pretty thorough, to the point where I’m not sure how I’d make it any clearer.

I know, and I appreciate that. I’m just frustrated by the reality of internet marketing.

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Me on my way to aura farm riding the dragon like literally every isekai anime mc ever

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Apropos of advertisement, I edited the opening post to make it a little more inviting, and I made a new tumblr blog for the game. I used to have one before, but it was horrible in every way, from the visuals to the lack of activity. This one at least looks decent, I think.

Will it bring more people to this story? Cloud if I know. But with that out of the way, maybe I can finally pick up the pace and focus on writing the damn game.

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Ok, I loved this game before but now It’s even better. The elf girlie’s story and character are peak stuff. Can’t wait for more updates. Good job author I know from experience it takes a while to write this stuff.

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Thank you, but it’s definitely not peak stuff. I’m currently going through published chapters, including Elvira’s scenes, and finding various errors everywhere. I suspect the next public update will be mostly revisions and additions, because there’s a lot to patch up.

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