Look.
I see what you’re getting at, and it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot too when it comes to the mode advanced medical tech of the Fallen Hero world. People do interact with it in different ways, for example Mortum went all in, but Sidestep is for very good reasons hesitant to do certain things, due to their own issues.
The thing is, and please don’t take this the wrong way, as someone who has had very vocal playtesters, and who has been working hard on introducing a lot of sexuality/gender variability in my game, a little goes a long way.
Let me explain. The more you get into detail about a thing, the more details appear. For example, when I started working on the aromantic/asexual variants (something I am not familiar with) it quickly escalated. So many playtesters who were the various shades of demi, ace, aro, grey, I don’t even remember all variants, had often differing viewpoints on how to handle things. What for me looked like a simple way to make things more inclusive went off the rails into discussions about how to formulate certain sentences, and what to name the various preferences.
In short, one single segment suddenly would have had a TON of details, that would maybe have been reference in game a handful of times. At the same time, none of the other orientations had that. The asymmetry was obvious, and quite frankly, didn’t even solve the issue! Because once I detailed something, people saw what was not included.
So I backed off and tried to identify the root of the issue. And that was the Herald path, and the fact that Sidestep could be obviously physically attracted to him in more obvious ways than for many of the other RO’s. And that clashed with many, who still wanted to romance him, but felt the way it was done clashed with what they saw their characters as. So in the end I settled for two simple fixes to the root problem: Adding a ‘hrny’ variable that controlled more obvious expressions of physical lust. And, adding a different name to one of the romance stats. “Oh no, I like him” instead of “oh no, he’s hot.” And that, while not perfect, was enough to let people imagine the rest, without going into detail.
IF you go too deep into logistical, realistic, and detailed description of the minutiae of the trans experience, you run the risk of saying things you don’t mean. Like ‘you need to have the operation to really be trans’ and so on. I don’t think you mean that, but I think you can already see from the comments how easy it is to imply things you don’t mean because people bring their own experiences and baggage into these discussions. I applaud what you are trying to do, to give options and depth instead of just having a single mention at character creation and then never again. But you need to be aware on how it can escalate. So let’s talk about trans and fixed sexuality RO’s.
Steel. Yep, he’s gay. So I needed to sit down and think what he was attracted to. But, here is the thing, my issue was never with trans men. I acknowledge that with some comments in the less safe for work scenes, My biggest issue was trying to figure out the whole genderqueer/agender/non-binary spectrum. What would be be attracted to there? I didn’t want to invalidate his gay identity, but I also didn’t see him as a ‘only real macho men needs to apply’ kind of guy. In fact, that spun of into a whole separate discussion where he and Sidestep could talk about these things. A different reaction than if Sidestep had been a man or a woman. And in the end, I think the only part of the non-binary spectrum he wouldn’t go for was those that specifically picked a ‘feminine presentation.’ This was a thing I spent a LOT of time working with, for one single scene that took about five minutes to read.
So. Here is my advice. Try to focus on the heart of the matter. Do you want to add these details to let the players feel seen? If so, focus more on actually talking about these things in the story rather than working out the logistics (that only leads to more logistics). Because let’s be fair here, unless you are writing All-World Pro Wrestling, chances are it won’t matter what kind of genitals your characters have. Is it really important whether a RO really cares about the details about what in the pants? If so, should perhaps other things be detailed more as well? Size? This… this can get complicated fast.
Go for the big picture. The broad strokes. Work on having the text itself make people seen. I think that will make people picking a trans path happier than having to detail exactly where on the scape from presentation-hormones-operations their character is. It might feel more like filling out a form, and even worse, having to pass a test if some RO’s only like you if you are an 8/10 on the transition scale…
Focus on the core problem you want to solve first. What is your intent. Don’t worlbuild things that’s not necessary, that will only reveal holes everywhere else.