I really like it so far
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Thanks!
I love this
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Iām really happy to hear that! Thanks for reading!
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i canāt wait to meet the rest of the ROs!! iām a sucker for childhood friends to lovers so iām holding out for Lyle xD
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Hello there ! Two times I finish the demo, first one I donāt remember when, and the second just now ! Did you updated the demo not long ago or is the demo the same since a certain time ? I love it and I want to see more ! The calasso is really adorable (even if I donāt manage to picture how it look xD)
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Hi! I havenāt updated recently, Iām about two scenes from the end of the next chapter but am really struggling to get it to a place Iām happy with. Itās been over a month and a half already and Iām close but not sure when Iāll get there.
About the Calassi
The calasso in my mind is tall in the shoulders, with a slight decline towards the tail, as such youāll see most of their saddles have high backs and the edges curl outwards behind the thighs. Their skin is sleek and smooth like a sharks the juvenile one you meet stands about hip height on your character and several heads taller on itās hind legs. Their faces are fairly felid with a stouter snout and thick canines, and their most notable feature is of course the backwards facing spines along its neck. They are used both defensively and for expression, about the thickness of a thumb and individually 1/3 to 1/2 of the length of the neck as a whole. They have a short(ish) tail, shaped kind of like an upsidedown triangle. Uniquely, the one you have loves you very much.
Iām pleased to hear it! Iām trying to fit some meaningful interactions with all the Roās excluding the āsecretā third one whom you meet at the very very end. As for Lyle, hopefully I can finish soon so you can meet them!
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This topic was automatically closed 60 days after the last reply. If you want to reopen your WiP, contact the moderators.
Iām glad it looks to be reopening most authorās give up when their topic gets closed. I really like this story, is there any news on an update.
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Uh, yeah. There is an update coming tomorrow at midnight 
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@Supporter i didnāt know ether but I found in another story itās against the rules to ask for updates on this site
Chapter two is out!
Exactly a year after the first, which at the very least is an amusing consistency. This update adds over 40,000 words, doubling the length of the demo!
Iāve stared for what feels like decades at the words on the screen so I could really use some help spotting inconsistencies (especially with characters!), issues with pacing, places of confusion. I am absolutely overwhelmed with this for a first project, but I am equally determined to continue. Iām a little desperate for feedback so please tell me what you think! If you liked it, tell me why. If you didnāt, tell me what. If you gave it a shot but it failed to grab you attention let me know where and why if you can!
I hope things start to come together strongly for this chapter and that you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
Iāve a few more in-depth thoughts about a few things I could use suggestions and help with and Iāll post those in a little while.
In the meantime, I hope you have had a happy new year and enjoy the story!
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I loved the update
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I really like your story! It has great writing and great world building, I really appreciate the humor too.
The way you write the characters is just perfect to me! Rhene and Rory turned out to be so alive and vibrant.
Also itās fascinating how the backstory keeps surfacing from time to time.
Scene of the fight in the first chapter was one of the best Iāve ever read. I really was feeling that āif anything happened to siblings I would kill everyone in this forest and then myselfā.
Second chapter was a but harder to stomach. I think it must be because English isnāt my first language and it gets harder to keep focus with time, but I kinda felt like there was too much text and not enough choices to keep my attention. At times it felt a bit more like just fiction than an interactive one.
Also perhaps due to my lack of proper understanding of English, all explanations about Craft went way over my head, though I tried to read it twice.
Plus I completely missed the meaning of choices soon after we met August, when we start to go back to caravan. Literally I just understood what that āon noā meant only now, when Iām typing that message.
Though all of the above is way more on me than on your writing (which I love).
I kinda missed the opportunities to interact more with our companions. After all the time we spend together with Rhene and Rory in the first chapter, August felt a little flat. Felt a bit strange to me that we canāt have a little heart to heart with Lyle after our reunion. Though the closeness did shine through a little bit and it can be understandable that sometimes people just arenāt in the talking mood. Eloi came out of nowhere and remained a big ? to the end.
Fighting scenes continue to be really epic! In the way that even little skirmish can feel huge when thereās something really important for you on the line.
There was a little bug when I choose the name āSabelā for the calasso and instead it became just an empty space.
All in all, Iām deeply invested in the story and canāt wait to see where itās going! Your writing is a joy to read, so thank you so much for sharing it!
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I really enjoyed that!! I love how you show the long-term effects of trauma instead of just letting the MC and Lyle move on from what happened swiftly. However, I would like more interactivity with the characters, and also I think the larger chunks of text could use page breaks. Overall, very engaging story!! I enjoyed it, and Iām looking forward to seeing more.
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Color me intrigued! Iām enjoying it so far!
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I really enjoyed your writing and worldbuilding and characters are just chefās kiss. I was okay with having bigger chunks of text with less choices but I definitely see where people saying there could be more interactivity are coming from.
One thing I wanted to ask is how important is it to pick flirty/blushy/tsundere responses to RO you want to romance? Is it necessary to pick options that increase flirt counter or is it safe to pick whichever option you like more, for example picking āReturn the smileā in a scene where Rhene explains the tavern work?
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Ooo Iām glad youāre back I loved the update!
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Itās really important to me that what Iām writing remains accessible, so if youād like and are comfortable Iād like to hear a bit more about these problemsāeither here or in dmāsāso I can look at rewriting the passages in a more understandable way.
I likely used a lot of terms directly related to the worldbuilding Iāve done for Craft without giving the reader the same knowledge that I have about them.
Over the next week or so Iāll be doing an in-depth edit of chapter one so Iāll definitely look for places where you and the characters can be a bit more expressive, I think in an attempt to keep the pacing of chapter two moving towards Avolire I really skimped on finding individual scenes in which you can talk to your friends, so before I continue with chapter three Iāll find a few places where you can interact with everyone together and individually in a meaningful way.
Lyleās always been a rather closed off, even with you. So any meaningful conversation about what happened is a ways off, but I should find a way to communicate that right away, and I think a private conversation afterwards wouldnāt go amiss.
Itās totally safe to pick whichever option suits you! Iāve no set time where the romances will be activated, but I can fairly confidently say you could go the entire time up until then without choosing a flirt option. Iām a big believer that you donāt need to flirt to care about someone romantically and so when the time comes relationship stats will be taken into account and a romance could then be activated with a suitable (and clearly defined) player choice.
I definitely agree, I tried to break up what I saw, but I work in Cside so all I ever see is wall of text anyways, if thereās anywhere anyone remembers thatās particularly egregious and doesnāt mind pointing them out to me, Iāll get them fixed asap.
Bugs
Will work on fixing that!
Iāll fix that in the next couple of minutes and break the passage up into smaller chunks.
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